Me, Quietly Whispering To The Ao3 Page Of An Author Who Doesn’t Even Know I Exist: I Am Obsessed With

I keep thinking about that tweet asking what would sp be like if one of the other dead men mentored Valkyrie and I can’t stop imagining the chaos that would have been Val and Saracen. Instead of the romantically inept straight™️ phase 1 val we could’ve had smooth talking lesbian/bisexual Val (whichever you’re preference) from the start

Just imagine how the Caelan situation would’ve played out:

Valkyrie: so there’s this vampire...

Saracen: ah, we’ve all been there Valkyrie. My best advice is to just sleep with him and get it out of your system.

Valkyrie: you’ve slept with a vampire?

Saracen: Valkyrie at this point there’s not much I haven’t slept with... except maybe the sea hag, but that’s purely because I can never seem to find her.

Valkyrie (looking horrified): what about the children of the spider?

Saracen:

Saracen: Anyway, moving on...

SCARLETT JOHANSSON as Natasha Romanoff in THE AVENGERS (2012) dir. Joss Whedon

100% accurate - both are annoying and if they do something helpful, 9/10 times it´s an accident

Fletcher is the Jar Jar Binks of SP

i have never seen a star wars movie, so i’ll just have to take your word for it

The Excessively Detailed Headcanon Tumblr Meme

Send me some numbers and a character name and I will tell you:

What does their bedroom look like?

Do they have any daily rituals?

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Makeup?

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Intellectual pursuits?

Favorite book genre?

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Favorite beverage?

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

What is their biggest regret?

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Most prized possession?

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Concept of home and family?

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

What makes them feel guilty?

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

How misanthropic are they?

Hobbies?

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

Religion?

Superstitions or views on the occult?

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

How do they express love?

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

SP CHARACTER STUDY 4/? - VALKYRIE CAIN

for one so young, she already carries a lifetime of regrets

a character you think isn’t appreciated enough?

I actually really like Militsia?? She seems really sweet and I like her interactions with Val (although sometimes they can feel a bit one sided)

Like she actually raises some good points early on when they first meet + genuinely cares for Val (so far..) rather than using her as some weird ego boost and entertainment unlike a certain scamdullery pheasant

ya know like….you always hear about the classics™ authors having stupid wild shenanigans with each other. they all banded together to be dumbass chaotic english majors together. the stories are great and they’re all considered timeless genius writers….we don’t have that with modern age authors? where’s the goddamn sense of community? where’s the saucy tales of jk rowling, stephen king, james patterson and nicholas sparks locked up in an orgy cabin during a hurricane and having a writing contest. no one’s ever gotten in a fist fight with stephanie meyer. rick riordan didn’t cry face down in george r r martin’s garden after no one liked blood of olympus. jodi picoult doesn’t have a single damn calcified heart in her possession. cassandra clare and suzanne collins never had sex on a grave. neil gaiman has never gone on a week long sex-binge that would have killed him if r l stine didn’t intervene. john green has never written a book in two weeks while snorting massive amounts of cocaine. where’s the drama!!! where’s the scandal!!!! where’s the intrigue!!! modern day authors have to step it UP a notch, God dammit.

Underrated Natasha Romanoff Scenes (1/?) - Black Widow Reveal at the Donut Shop

genuinely hate that the german wird for concise is prägnant, because whenever I want to translate it into english my brain tells me it’s pregnant

New one-shot set in my Sith!Luke and Jedi!Leia AU