I Don’t ‘zone Out’. Being Zoned Out Is My Default State, And I Occasionally Zone Back In To Check

I don’t ‘zone out’. Being zoned out is my default state, and I occasionally zone back in to check how things are going.

More Posts from Siarah and Others

1 year ago
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU
Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark Throughout The MCU

Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark throughout the MCU

4 years ago
“ The Fact Is That We Have No Way Of Knowing If The Person Who We Think We Are Is At The Core Of Our
“ The Fact Is That We Have No Way Of Knowing If The Person Who We Think We Are Is At The Core Of Our

“ the fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. are you a decent girl with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or are you an evil monster that thinks it’s a decent girl? ” — “ wouldn’t i know which one i was? ” “ good god, no. the lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves. ”

5 years ago

I feel like Never is supposed to be the sassy best friend but he’s just straight up mean to Omen and it kinda makes me sad

1 year ago

The original percy jackson series is about cycles of abuse and neglect, right. Were introduced to percy as a kid who has clearly been left behind by a school system that has given up on him, restless and unengaged and self-defetist because hes been given nothing that works for him and no one even tries to meet him where he is. Then hes told no, listen, your neurodivergence is amazing and you just need to be given something that actually utilizes your unique palatte. And thats obviously the uplifting idea rick wanted for his kids, right. But once we get to know chb the same cycles are happening there too. There are kids "left behind" there too for one reason or another, because their parents dont want to claim them, because their parents werent important enough to get a cabin. Do you get it, all the kids who dont fit the most common neurotypes get shoved into the same closet. Kids are being left in a cruel world to fend for themselves without the tools they need. Theyre dying because no one bothered to accommodate them. Its such an obvious parallel that the first chapter introduces a teacher whos written to be especially hard on percys disability and she turns out to literally be one of these monsters trying to kill him. Meanwhile sally jackson tells him she named him after Perseus because she wanted a redemption for a hero whos story ended in tragedy. Meanwhile every book in the series replicates a greek myth step for step until the moment they break the cycle. Annabeth, playing Odysseus, is talked down from her hubris and grounded by her friends. Percy, playing Heracles, meets someone wronged by the original Heracles and rights his wrongs by refusing to go down the same selfish path as him. Monsters are reborn because they are--as the books explicitly call them--achetypes. These kids are stuck inside the cyclical nature of mythology because thats what happens to mythology, it gets retold over and over again. But these are the kids who have to live it. The series ends with percy being offered immortality and he rejects it because he wants to use his godly favor to force them to break their cycle of neglecting their kids. The series ends with a declaration that we cant keep letting this happen. The very first book offees the same choice. It ends with percy refusing to keep the head of medusa as a spoil of war, refusing his heroic reward. He lets his mother have the head and use it to kill gabe. Isnt that fucking crazy for a kids book? Gabe wasnt a Monster. He wasnt going to Turn to Dust and Disappear in a narratively convenient way. He was a living breathing mortal dude and percy and his mom killed him without remorse. Break the cycle of abuse!!!! Dont let this happen again!!! Anyway thats why the original percy jackson series is Hey where are you going with our breadsticks

4 years ago

Doesn’t She Know (It’s the End of the World) (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Title: Doesn’t She Know (It’s the End of the World) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16936872 Platform: AO3 Creator: bubblemoon66 Work Type: Fanfiction Fandom: Skulduggery Pleasant Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant Word count: 3717 Warnings: Major Character Death Number of comments: 8 Completion Status: Complete Short summary/description: 

According to the clock on the Bentley’s dashboard, it was 06:23. About 37 minutes before the world had been scheduled to end.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie are used to high stakes and heroic deeds done with minutes to spare. Together, they’ve saved the world a hundred times over. They were bound to slip up eventually.


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5 years ago

China: I do not “spew profanities.” I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.

5 years ago

Reblog if you're a Slytherin.

gryffindor | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

4 years ago

China Sorrows x Skulduggery Pleasant aesthetic?

China Sorrows X Skulduggery Pleasant Aesthetic?

there are times when she’s selfish enough to admit to herself that she is glad that this man is the one who came back from the war

not the one who kissed her sweetly, with soft touches and warm hands, fingers brushing bare skin

this man full of quiet rage, of death, unsettles most, but not her

then again, she notices the whispers and frightened looks that follow her every move

perhaps there is a bond formed between those who have walked into hell with one’s eyes open

like always, tap for better quality

5 years ago

This made me sad, because it is so true :(

I still remember hero worshipping Val and Skul when I was younger (I guess to some degree I still do) and now that I´m older I´m seeing all the flaws in their characters and their relationship... I guess Val did, too, in phase 2 and that´s a part of what caused her depression... Growing up sucks 

Hey, I just saw your post claiming Val and Skul's relationship is an unhealthy one. It confused me. Can you explain? (I feel like I have to clarify that I am not criticising you, I'm just genuinely curious since I've never heard this opinion before.)

[ kicks down door ]

Hi there :D

I’d just like to say that on some level, D.Lands planned this relationship while writing them. I personally believe around the fifth or forth book. Or it at least became more apparent.

It should also be noted D.Lands has a “”“"thing”“”“ on some level for age gaps.

Anyways, there are a few things wrong with the relationship.

One thing is the giant age gap. Skulduggery has never, to my knowledge, admit he was mentoring Valkyrie. He has always called her his partner. However, it is clear who hold the power in the relationship.

Skulduggery is a wealth of knowledge and adult experiences. He has lived several lifetimes-worth. You can see this ; Valkyrie doesn’t even know how to drive, let alone anything of the “world” he introduces her to. She relies on him for access to this world, to feel “adult,” in a sense. To teach her magic, yadda yadda.

The real issue here is that Skulduggery can be seen as “grooming” Valkyrie.

I mean grooming in this sense : Valkyrie is rewarded with something she wants ( access to this world, exciting adventures, magic ) by acting a certain way.

You can see this behavior in the first book: she didn’t want to let the death of a room full of people to affect her, because she wanted to be seen as “brave” in Skulduggery’s eyes ; not a child or a 12-year-old.

On some level, Skulduggery didn’t want an actual child following him around. If she had burst into tears ( like I know I would have at twelve ) he would have immediately changed his decision to let her follow around. I remember vividly how weirded out Skulduggery got when Valkyrie cried after her TOOTH got knocked out of her HEAD. I think she was 13 or 14 at the time, but he literally doesn’t know how to react when Valkyrie actually acts her age.

Not to mention, Skulduggery encourages her to not attend school, or interact with people her age. This is on top of the fact Valkyrie never tells her parents about Skulduggery or his tutoring ; she has no insight from actual adults who would see immediate red flags at how Skulduggery is treating her. ( This is also why I headcanon Melissa as low keyhating Skulduggery / not allowing Alice to participate in the world. )

She also mimics her behavior off of Skulduggery. In the first book, she is much quieter, in wonder, rather dorky. She thinks she’s really cool ( as all twelve-year-olds do lol ) and Skulduggery subtly makes fun of her. For instance, telling her about octopus-people or whatever, telling her that it’s funny some people ( the unlucky ones who DON’T meet a cool skeleton ) die without knowing about magic.

By the… third book, she is snappy and sarcastic and biting. She becomes reserved with people her age, haughty with others. Not to mention, Skulduggery pretty much talks for the both of them to EVERYONE, bringing Valkyrie along just for funsies. ( This is acknowledged in-text by various people. )

She models her behavior and actions off of Skulduggery to get his approval ( that is, more sarcastic, more stoic, etc. ). Not to mention, he explicitly comments on her “tight trousers,” mocking but at the same time rewarding her ( by noticing her ) for wearing them. Concerning stuff from an extremely older man in any other context.

He also buys her expensive things, like a room in his house, new clothes, etc., partially rewarding, partially to have her around him more.

I fully blame Valkyrie’s modeling on Skulduggery as the reason for her breakdown. She has never seen ( or really interacted ) with someone who shows emotions like a normal, functioning adult. She has never seen Skulduggery cry, or even get scolded for his actions, and she has seen this as THE behavior to emulate.

And then she’s suddenly the destroyer of the world, and she doesn’t have the ability to handle that. Weakness / evilness is something bad, to be looked down upon. She was scared she was going to mess up big time, and she didn’t tell Skulduggery because he’s never scared, and he would have never befriended her in the first place if she was EVER scared, or admitted to it.

But even then, she doesn’t have the structures in place to handle large emotional burdens.

AND ALL THIS IS FINE IN A NARRATIVE SENSE, EXCEPT :

1) The age range this is marketed towards ( young adult ) IS EXACTLY the age where this sort of grooming behavior begins.

2) IT IS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED IN THE TEXT THAT THIS IS A HORRIFIC POWER DYNAMIC, IDEALIZES IT, SETTING BAD EXAMPLE FOR TARGET MARKET.

Your one exception is Kenspeckle ( the bae ), who vividly hates Skulduggery ( for good reason ) and loves Valkyrie, but this is NEVER explained. The above power dynamic was clear to Kenspeckle, not to Valkyrie or the readers. It came off as Kenspecks being a total douche for no reason, or the “grumpy father who disapproves of his daughter’s boyfriend.” When in reality, Kenspeckle is the ONLY ADULT who EVER realizes the situation Valkyrie is in, and tries to help her.

3) That codependency thing…

AND NOW, TO THE CRUX OF THE MATTER. This grooming is exactly why Valkyrie is codependent upon Skulduggery.

To recap : Skulduggery is the one who introduced her into the magical world, shaped her view and experience of it, and who continues to be her main access to this world.

Skulduggery, and Valkyrie’s want of this world, shaped Valkyrie’s behavior by : encouraging isolation from children her age, her parents, gentle but suggestive mocking, inappropriate comments, rewarding with his “”“time”“”“ and ”“”“attention”“”“.

Valkyrie, in a need to please Skulduggery : changed to become more like Skulduggery, models her behavior off Skulduggery. This includes : haughty behavior, superiority, isolation from friends and family, emotionlessness–or as closes as she can get, options on topics, places herself in danger to please Skulduggery, and going out of her way to learn about topics to feel she “impresses” Skulduggery and “fits into” the world.

( Not to mention, she is ALWAYS hesitant to discuss her personal, romantic relationships, because this might piss him off and he’ll cut her off. )

Literally, her whole life ( magic, personality, occupation ) comes from Skulduggery. She NEEDS him as a constant source of validation for this behavior, as well as a constant model to go off.

Hence : codependency. She needs him.

Skulduggery, meanwhile, likes Valkyrie because of her “innocence.” She knows nothing about his past ( blank slate ), and is literally in love with him and his style and his WORLD. This pleases his egocentrism. This is why he lets her follow him around. Because she adored what he introduced to her, and he is her number one source for continuing to learn, and she adores him.

Skulduggery is dependent on her for his ego. She is dependent on him for… a lot.

So, anyways, that’s why it’s unhealthy.

And that’s why I made that post ; I know that young readers ( like I was when I started ) see nothing wrong with the model presented in the books. Hell, when I started reading the books, I wanted EXACTLY what Valkyrie had. I wanted to be special, and hot, and smart, and have attention from adults.

The books ( and D.Lands by extension ) pretty much endorses it, shows why it’s bad, AND NEVER EXPLAINS WHY VALKYRIE WENT OFF THE DEEP END IN THE LAST 2 BOOKS.

Skulduggery emotionally stunted her. All that fear, and rage, and mostly, mostly self-doubt because she had FEELINGS, manifested in Darquesse.

Because Darquesse is what Valkyrie wanted to be. Untouchable. Emotionless. Powerful.

And that’s HOW Darquesse took over. She always insulted Valkyrie, offered violent solutions some part of her thought SKULDUGGERY would suggest. But mainly ? Darquesse just created self-doubt, until Valkyrie began to rely on her ( this emotionless powerhouse ), and then took over.

( This also falls into my headcanon that Darquesse’s voice never went away, just the power. Valkyrie still craves to be emotionless ( as Skulduggery taught her ) and powerful. So she doesn’t have to be human, so she can be COOL, like Skulduggery, and not be scared and afraid. It’s this smothering of emotion that led to Darquesse’s creation, anyways. )

But mainly, D.Lands NEVER EVER explained why Val and Skul’s relationship was unhealthy. Fuck, the books condone it.

This is also why the fandom reacted so viscerally to D.Lands dating a super young fan. It’s one thing to idealize, another to see it happen in real life, and realize the books condone that behavior.

( Just throwing it out there I ship Val // Dug so I am aware of these problems. That’s why it’s important for me to ship but also point out the problems. )

Anyways, please PLEASE let me know if you have any more questions. :)

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siarah - Siarah
Siarah

I write stuff, sometimes I post it ~ Star Wars side blog: @leia-organa-fics ~ Criminal Minds side blog: @special-agent-prentiss

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