Shrymf - What The Scallop?

asking for help is morally neutral. needing assistance (even a lot of it!!!) is morally neutral. you’re not a bad person for not being able to do things on your own🫂

scout hare

Don't take this too seriously, I just wanted to practice drawing furries, it's quite fun.

Btw I need help deciding what animal the other mercenaries would be? ?? ?? Lmao

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

The prey has to love the predator right? The fear of death is there, but your entire purpose is to survive them and keep living. Your body is shaped to tense at the first sign of the tiger in the grass. Your mind fills with lightning when you hear a branch snap in the trees. When the specter of claw and teeth breaks from hiding your limbs know the chase. This is a dance that lives in your hot, pounding blood. This is your purpose. You don't always win the chase, but this too is your purpose. The deer must love the wolf I think, and love it the most when the teeth close around the throat. Carried down to the steaming gore painted grass like a lover to a marriage bed. And the wolf loves you.

Propaganda

Saotome Rama:

- There is nothing Cis about the premise of Rama

- A character that can switch between "girl" form and "boy" form is any multigendered person's dream

- Often times when Rama is in "girl" form they still identify as a boy, though occasionally they will also call themself a girl in their head or even out loud even when it's to people that know their secret so there's no real reason.

Rasputin “Raz” Aquato:

- The way Their family talks about them being psychic is BIG "transphobic/homophobic/etc family starting to unlearn their bigotry" vibes. At various levels

- Their older brother is VIOLENTLY angry about them being a psychic in a way that feels close to transphobia. Believing that it's a choice and when pointed out the dad is psychic he says "It's a phase!"

- Mom is obviously still holding anti-psychic biases and would rather not talk about her family members being psychic, even if she's much more polite about it

- Older sister is not ready to come out as a psychic yet, saying that she's "not ready to break Mom and Dad's heart" (like Raz did)

- Dad has awkward enthusiasm about psychic stuff to try to mend the relationship between the child he hurt and to connect with them

- There's a dialogue option where you can try to out the older sister as a psychic, and the Dad responds with "She'll come out when she's ready"

- Models his haircut and style after his favorite male celebrity

im really in a bad place i hope the sun doesnt start setting crazy early at like 4pm. i said i hope the sun doesnt set early at like 4pm that would be bad for me

By the way do you think that when the Doctor went from Nine to Ten he was thinking about Rose so much and wishing so hard he could stay with her and be like her that Ten developed a distinctly human thought process up to and including a massive fear of death even though he knew he'd just regenerate. But he'd already become too human and therefore inextricably tied the end of his regeneration to the concept of death even though it's later stated multiple times that the Doctor is still the Doctor no matter who they are, meanwhile Ten was like "when I regenerate a new man goes sauntering away. And I'm dead" and do you think that's maybe a sort of metaphor for trauma in that he's so so so afraid of beginning to heal because his trauma is who he is. He is his trauma. And to heal and change is to kill himself

Autistic Social Trauma

Autistic Qualia