Couldnt Fit Ena, Long, Or Hooh, Sorryyy

If Nerfs are supposed to be the Star Wars equivalent for cows, do they have a profession called nerfboy that every other child thinks would be rad or does bounty hunter and outlaw just fill that niche

This might be Derek Guy's greatest masterpiece.

(The Twitter thread is probably easier to read and easier to look at the images, but I wanted to make sure it got preserved. Images are the tweets.)

(Continued in reblog)

real asf.

Ladies the tests came back and it said I’m only poisonous in very large doses. Can we hang

[scrolling through a fandom tag] wrong. wrong. incomprehensibly wrong. wrong but harmless. nice style and color palette but I don't care about that ship. mildly entertaining liveblog update. they whitewashed my girl :( . good joke, reblog. wro--well that's my mutual so I will politely look away. fifteen posts in a row by an innocent rp blog that I don't have the heart to block. take I agree with but op was annoying about it. chapter twenty-eight of a longfic wip. !! GOOD POST !!, instafollowed. bot. technically correctly tagged but uses this acronym for something completely different. museum worthy art piece by a sixteen-year-old from the philippines. wrong. wrong but in a new and exciting way that provokes thought.

Legal trouble Ra’s dcxdp AU

Because of how the dcxdp phandom treats Constantine, I feel like there’s a true untapped market for Ra’s too. To start with as far as I’m aware people don’t clown on Ra’s enough for basically being the Batman of DC’s immortal cast. Homie practically has a paid checkmark for immortality. No healing factor or actual youth abilities just skill and a pit that makes him younger. Anyway that’s to say this random self proclaimed immortal who in all of his wisdom named himself the demons head centuries ago, probably wasn’t super original. And whatever demons he likely named himself after probably aren’t too fond of the guy just like Constantine. But what’s this? A new High King of the infinite realms? With free access to the realm of the living? Well sounds like it’s time to give Ra’s the Constantine treatment; and give him a subpoena or a cease and desist.

Ra’s probably doesn’t believe it to be real, I mean don’t demons have better things to do than legal work? (“It’s probably just Tim, the detectives best child soldier.”) Probably not, because if any fic with Constantine is any indication, it seems that they are contract wielders, gossipers, and whiners. An excellent combination to spring on Mr diet immortal.

Now apparently failing to show up when served a subpoena can result in fines (and in extreme cases imprisonment) and because these guys are sneaky the fine print clearly states such fines or consequences exist, but the finer print says he doesn’t need to be informed so slowly his coffers get drained periodically. Alternatively, while he might not notice his coffers draining for a good while, he would definitely notice his pits draining. That’s one of the points where it could go a few ways.

Ra’s is not allowed to dodge the summons and Walker being Walker shows up to bring him to court, leaving everyone wondering where he went.

Ra’s dodging and thinking the prank is done with doesn’t notice for a while that either his coffers or his pits are slowly decreasing.

Situation One or Two happens and then while making his way to Ra’s, Danny realizes that while Constantine has the most overall paperwork, Ra’s has been the most consistent, making the two of them the sources of his greatest annoyance. Upon realizing that fact and discovering the pit exists he decides on some petty revenge giving him a second legal notice on the repossession of property of the infinite realms and while he’s the one who’s draining the pits, the others are draining his coffers.

Imagine Batman just going “The league of assassins has been quiet lately” with Dick saying “Yeah they’re always quiet it’s kind of their job” just for Talia to show up saying Ra’s is missing and the only clue they could find was a subpoena that they get Constantine to look at and confirm authenticity.