Latest Posts by shaquilles-0atmeal - Page 3

doctor mike is so fine.

grunge guitarist! Ellie x fem!reader

(thank youuu @shaquilles-0atmeal for the request,loved making this sm!)

loser!ellie college headcanons

ellie has a crush // pt 1 of ?

mdni

contains ; nothing but her being so down bad and having no game

• loser!ellie who expected to finish college as the only girl on the hockey team to never score (and she didn't mean points- she scored those.) (sometimes.)

• loser!ellie who first saw you in at a party that the hockey team dragged her to and abigail fucking anderson started talking about you and was about to go make a move and ellie freaked the fuck out and purposely spilled her drink on you just so she could pull you away from the crowd because oh my god you were so pretty it hurt her

• loser!ellie who you were absolutely pissed at for ruining your shirt but she smiled at you all sheepish and lopsided with those puppy dog eyes and you melted

• loser!ellie who invited you to her next game and when you showed up with her number painted on your cheek and cheered for her loud as fuck she nearly melted on the ice

• loser!ellie who got benched immediately because her head wasn't in the game

• loser!ellie who found out you worked at a campus cafe and started dragging jesse and dina all the way across campus with her every morning and was subsequently late for her first class every day

• loser!ellie who didn't realize you had written your number on her cup until she had already thrown it away and then dug it out of the trashcan in broad daylight

• loser!ellie who texted you immediately with a meme like this and completely forgot to say who she was (you knew)

• loser!ellie who thought you hated her because you just responded 'lmao' and proceeded to have an actual crisis over it

• loser!ellie who got a text from you four hours later that was a lot less dry and she realized oh you were probably just busy

• loser!ellie who found out you liked music and then did absolutely everything in her power to figure out what music you liked so she could learn it on guitar

• loser!ellie who lowk stalked you on instagram for weeks but waited for you to follow her first so she wouldn't seem like a weirdo

• loser!ellie who then immediately started posting memes like this on her story

• loser!ellie who oh my god oh my god you liked the stories oh my god

• loser!ellie who ahejeknjdjd you reposted them to your story ????

• loser!ellie who realized you hadn't missed a game since the first one she invited you to???

• loser!ellie who asked joel for advice lmao

so theres this girl i go to school with and

• dad!joel who laugh reacted the message (ellie would yell at her sister sarah for teaching him how to do that later)

• loser!ellie who finally got the nerve to ask you out and went into the coffee shop so confident and then saw you weren't working

hey ur not working this morning?

hi ellie !! no not today i'm sick

• loser!ellie who bought some premade soup and some peppermint tea and literally ran to your place (she has a car??)

• loser!ellie who asked you out while you were dying (a bit sick) of the plague (a cold) and it was her last chance (you would be back at work in 2 days) to profess her undying love (huge crush) on the fair maiden (cute barista) before her

• loser!ellie who short circuited when you said yes and just stared at you in unblinking silence for so long you had to call dina and jesse to come get her ass

• loser!ellie who didn't realize you had liked her back from the moment she smiled at you at that party

• loser!ellie who bragged to abby about bagging you

• loser!ellie who is never letting you go

first post completed! feels so good i hope u guys love it

manifesting a pretty masc girlfriend that plays guitar

older women are very beautiful, I love them

Matt reminds me of Kermit the frog and I can’t explain it but like I’m right

hi so I did just ghost a girl bc I think she has a gf, which she OBVIOUSLY didn't tell me, so now I'm really sad bc I was super into her. That's my life, incase anyone was wondering !! 😋🔫

I fucking love ao3 authors

i need this man so BADLY.

Simon Riley x reader

Idk what to call this but I made a fic where Simon "Ghost" Riley falls for Johnny's female roomie cuz it's been clanking around in my head for days. Also now I can finally use the time I've spent in the UK having to listen to stupid slang and banter to use💪

Also reader is a girl that's like a main plot point👍Okay enjoy!

"Ya sure this is okay mate?" Kyle asked, slightly apprehensive as he entered the apartment

"'Course it's okay!" Johnny beamed, closing the door behind them "asked 'em 'forehand anyway"

Simon just grunted and started to remove his boots. The boys had a week off from being stationed at base and though most would use this time to go home and visit family, that option wasn't really in the cards for the three.

Kyle's family had gone on vacation, he had grumbled something about "lef' me 'ta holiday in the tropics". And Simon...well his family situation was...something, so Johnny had very graciously offered to host them at his apartment for the week. Just one problem, he had forgotten to let his friends know the roommate he lived with was a girl. Not only that, but he hadn't actually checked to see if you read his last minute message. Not that he had actually had the foresight to ask if you were okay with 2 men you had never met sleeping in your apartment for a week. He texted something along the lines of "omw back" quickly followed by "bringing the boys with"

You had been napping and hadn't seen his text, and you were too groggy as you woke up and shuffled to get dressed to even notice the sounds of footsteps in the front room.

"Just set ya shite by the couch 'fer now" Johnny commented as he walked into the open kitchen

Simon took a moment to scan over the apartment. There were the obvious signs of Johnny's presence scattered all around the room. A couple of empty chip bags, an X-box with the wires of the controller's tangled into one big mess, his army green sweatshirt draped over the back of the couch, his preferred brand of cereal stood haphazardly on the counter, even those stupid Crocs he bought a year ago were by the front door. But something felt off, he knew his friend lived with a roommate but there was something strange about the other items in the flat he couldn't put his finger on.

A hairbrush was set on the coffee table, the cups that he caught a glimpse of as Johnny opened the cupboard seemed a little too nice, a small tube of hand lotion was set on the counter, and a pair of shoes that seemed a little too small and a little too clean were (unlike Johnny's) placed on the Ikea shoe rack by the door.

Kyle's voice suddenly broke him from his thoughts, "thought ya 'ad a roommate soap? Where they at?"

"They're 'ere" Johnny chimed, closing the fridge door with his hip and pouring himself some juice "probably just in 'they room" he took one sip from the glass "hold on lads let me get 'em"

He rounded the corner into the small hallway and disappeared from Simon and Kyle's line of sight. Kyle looked over to the blonde, who had (for once) forgone his usual balaclava in favor of a simple black face mask, Simon just shrugged.

They heard the turning of a doorknob at the end of the hallway, the hinges squeaking as it began to open.

"Aye come out 'ere a sec-"

A high pitched, startled noise could be heard before..."JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK MAN GET OUT!" your voice rang through the apartment clear as day.

Simon and Kyle's head's whipped around to face each other, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in Simon's head. Johnny's roommate was a chick.

"Sweet Jesus! Sorry lass didnae know ya were 'gon tae changin' in 'ere" Johnny blurted out apologetically.

"YEAH THATS WHY YOU KNOCK FIRST DUMBASS!" you continued to berate him as he stood in the door way with his hand covering eyes.

"Well how the 'ell was I 'sposed know what'chu was doin' in 'ere?" he fought back

"MAYBE BY NOT BARGING IN HERE OUT OF NOWHERE?!" Your voice strained with frustration and embarrassment

There was a brief moment of silence before-

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" A small thud could be heard as one of your shirts collided with the side of his head.

"Okay, okay I'm goin'!" he closed the door "creepin' Jesus..." he sighed

He slowly rounded the corner back into the kitchen, holding your oversized T-shirt in one of his hands. He looked up to see the gobsmacked faces of his two friends

"Wot?"

"Could've at least told us 'yer rooming with a girl" Kyle muttered, looking sheepishly towards the tile floor

"Thought I mentioned that?" Johnny said plainly

"Well, ya didn't" Simon grumbled, pausing a moment before continuing "she certainly seems...spirited"

"Nah 'hat's nothin', you should see 'er when I eat 'er scraps" he smirked "just 'bout killed me last time"

Simon couldn't help but notice the glass Johnny had poured earlier, it seemed to be some sort of fruit juice cocktail, something his friend probably wouldn't have bought for himself...

"Well-" Johnny swung his arm out dramatically as he attempted to fill the silence. Yet in that moment, the bra that, unbeknownst to you, had been tucked within the shirt he was now holding, flew to the floor.

"Shit-" Johnny went to quickly pick it up as his two friends respectfully averted their gaze from your undergarments.

"Wait..." Johnny paused to look up at the both of them "is it weird fer me to go grabbin' at it?" He asked in full honesty

Disappointed looks are what greeted him,

"Mate-"

"Bruv..."

They heard your door open suddenly and all embarrassment was forgotten as your roommate quickly picked up the bra and folded it back into the shirt before setting it on the counter

"Seriously man what were you thinking? Going to have to get a lock if you keep this up. Anyway what were you-" you stopped as you rounded the corner to find not only your roommate, but two other large men in your living area.

"Oh!" You started "Hey..." you trailed off apprehensively

Simon and Kyle both got their first proper look at you. A tight tank top clung to your figure and loose sweatpants hung from your hips, your hair haphazardly tied up with strands poking out in every direction. It then became clear to them at that moment you had not been expecting any company.

Kyle cleared his throat, ready to introduce himself, but his friend beat him to it

"These are the lads 've told ya about" Johnny began with a boyish grin, gesturing widely to his two friends, as if he was showing them off.

"From work?" you questioned

"Yup"

You then looked back to the two men in question and they both instinctively stood up a bit straighter "Ghost and...Gaz? Right?" you asked, pointing from one to the other, tilting you head in a way that was undeniably adorable to all three of them.

"'hat's us" Kyle responded brightly "Soap 'as talked 'bout you but I never caught ya name"

You gave it to them with no hesitation, before turning to Johnny "soap?" You teased, cocking one eyebrow

"It's ma' call sign lass, didnae be makin' fun of it now" he shook his finger in your face

"Yeah sure it is" you brushed him off before your eyes met the cup on the counter, you slowly turned back to him,

"What did I say about drinking my shit?!" You questioned with an accusatory tone.

"Is' just a glass" Johnny whined

You delivered a a harsh slap to his bicep "if you're going to be drinking it tell me so I can buy more, I'm tired of runnin' to the store every other day" you sighed

You moved through the kitchen closer to Simon and Kyle, opening the fridge and scanning its contents before turning to the both of them "I'll be going out, you two want anything?" You asked

They both just looked at you completely speechless and slightly confused.

"What? I assume you are probably going to be staying this week while that idiot" you gestured with your thumb to Johnny "has time off, so ya want anything from the store?" Your intuition had to be applauded.

"No we're jus' fine" Simon finally spoke. His deep voice, though not shocking, still made your hair stand on end.

"Alright then" you clapped your hands and maneuvered yourself through the small space in between the two men, a shiver ran down their spine as your front and back brushed against each of their sides, respectively

"I'm going to the gym then I'll hit the store on the way back" you say over your shoulder, grabbing your shoes "you need anything Mactavish?"

"Get some-"

"-More of the juice and the butterscotch crisps?" You finished his sentence for him and he waved his hand dismissively "you're so predictable" you murmur, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips

Simon watched as the Johnny's mouth began to form a smile of his own "I 'ave to do the washing, you got any thing ya need cleaned?" He threw back

"Lights or colors?"

"Lights"

"Then wash that shirt I threw at you"

The wicked smile now fully formed on Johnny's face as his friends watched on in surprise and burning embarrassment.

"What 'bout this 'ere?" Johnny teased, now holding your light blue bra up for everyone to see, pinching one of the straps as if it were contaminated

"What are you-" Simon and Kyle watched the confused expression on your face turn into horror then very quickly into undeniable anger

You stormed back across the flat and snatched you bra from his hand "John Mactavish you disgusting little prick" you growled "I am going to kill you one of these days and let me promise you, it will be slow" you leaned over him and pointed a finger in this face, your hight difference forcing him to bend over backwards slightly.

You threw your bra back in your room and quickly stomped back to the door "I'll be back in a couple hours" you called over your shoulder "do me a favor and kick his shit in while I'm gone eh?" You smiled towards Simon and Kyle before shutting the door behind you.

A moment of silence fell over the three,

"So how long has she been 'aving to put up wit' yer ass?" Simon asked plainly

"Little over a year now...-- oye? Whatchu mean 'put up wit' me' I'm a delight to live with"

"Clearly" Kyle rolled his eyes

"Too bad she's got such an attitude" Johnny sighed "she'd be a bonnie lass if she quit yellin' all the damn time"

"I'm sure you give her plenty of reasons to" Kyle groaned and Simon just nodded in agreement

"Ay haud yer wheesht" Johnny bit back "'member who's puttin' you lads up for a week"

The banter continued but Simon could agree with his friend on at least one point, you were bloody stunning. He just couldn't get the quizzical look you had given him out of his head, nor the way you had said his call sign so plainly. 'What had soap told you 'bout him?' He really couldn't help but wonder, wonder and pray it was the good stuff. Though knowing soap, it probably wasn't. His call sign had sounded so sweet when it came from your lips, he needed to know how it would sound when you called him by his given name. What sort of faces would you make if he poked fun at you like soap did? what if he were to be sweet to you? Did you cook? If so he needed to taste it immediately. What kind of expression would you make when you're all relaxed? How would it feel to take those pouty, pursed lips against his own and-

'Nope nope nope', Simon physically shook the thought from his head, taking a deep breath to clear his mind. You were his friends roommate and who he would be living with for a week, he had to be respectful.

"You good mate?" Gaz asked

"Fine" he replied flatly

He couldn't really understand why but he wanted you to get home from whatever you were doing immediately, it was like a burning fire had suddenly started inside him and it could only be dowsed by seeing you and having you close to him.

Johnny knew that look in his Lieutenant's eyes, recognizing the faint emotion they betrayed

'Damn smitten bastard' Johnny huffed before showing them where they would be sleeping.

Uhhh I probably will make more for this soon so stick around<3

@yumethefrostypanda for the visual I used🫶

okay wait I love !

@cumberbitchhhh @urmomswife69654368 @aalisgarden @madifilipowiczslvt I dont have v many moots loll

Hoes. Princess game pt.2 wake the FUCK up

Put a pic of your princess and your sidekick and tag a couple friends!

You don’t have to be tagged to play!! Someone PLZ do Nick Matt & Chris !!!

@issysh3ll @bbernard-03 @anyaa2s @annasturns @colorthecosmos444

@heartlessturniolos @lovesturni0l0s @mattsbrat @mattsfavoritestar @sturniowhore

@sweetshuga @sturniolo-fann @sturnihoelooo @strnilolover @sierrraaaaxz

oh my god I've been thinking about sweet!readerxGhost alll day. basically where reader is super giddy about everything and Simon loves it, every holiday she's practically bouncing off the walls with excitement except for Christmas. And it really freaks Simon out because she hates Christmas. So obviously their first Christmas together, he's losing his shit trying to figure out what her problem with Christmas is, and he can't. idk if that made sense or if it's too early, but it's literally been my Roman empire for like three days.

LMFAOOO I LOVE THIS ASK. Sweet!Reader is so giddy when it's holidays like Easter, Thanksgiving and stuff. It makes Simon smile under his mask. BUT WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES AROUND?! he's internally panicking.

You haven't decorated, there's nothing in your Wishlist on amazon, temu or Etsy. You refuse to go outside, and when you lock yourself in YOUR shared bedroom? Now he's panicking in real life... asking his team members what could be the problem, random grannies in the coffee shop over tea and even his local BARTENDER. They all don't know though... they just tell him to go ask you. So when he finally came over to you he's just staring at you, trying to figure out what to say. "Why do you hate Christmas." He blurts out, internally slapping himself for his bluntness. "It's cold. :(" You reply, whining. "Plus Christmas trees are so expensive!" He calms down after that. "It's cold? and you can't afford the tree...?" He asks in slight disbelief. "Bird, isn't that what i'm for? I'm warm plus i can afford the tree." You go silent, realizing how stupid you sound now. You can just reply with a... "Oh." Before Simon bursts out laughing, walking away to go buy the Christmas tree for you.

[Repost if u want sweetie! <3]

How sassy of him 😭😭 broke them glasses with no hesitation like that comment was his last straw 🥲😂😂

stiles is incredible funny bc yeah he's the brain the strategist the plan maker super smart etc but everytime he checks, just in case, like "hey just letting you know the easiest way to fix this is murder. just a thought" and then everyone is like "stiles NO" and then he gets to the actual plan

I feel like trump looking likely to beat a more competent and qualified female candidate twice, both being the only times a woman has been a nominated presidential candidate, is a real blow to the psyche for all women and girls in the U.S.. It seems to deliver a message of "no matter how put-together, professional, and smart you are, you will always lose to the dumbest, loudest man in the room."

hi so this is terrifying to think about ! 🥰

Ain’t it crazy that dogs have more rights in America than women? If my dog was pregnant and needed an abortion, it’s up to only the veterinarian and caretakers. A fucking dog. They don’t even value women’s lives as much as dogs.

spot the difference

dont know why this was my first thought

oh my fuck

i need to ride his face

Me when @bernardsbendystraws does anything🙏😭

It could cause earthquakes

Me too, Chris, me too 😔✋️

Shout out Jess Mariano’s mouth being crooked in most of his expressions.

Shout out to the way it affects how he talks and makes him sound slightly muffled/like he’s talking through gritted teeth all the time.

Shout out to his smile being adorable.

Shoutout to the way it’s kind of obnoxious when he’s younger and he sounds like an angsty punk all the time but then when he’s older like in season 6 it kinda just makes him sound softer in a way I find oddly comforting.

Shout out Jess Mariano hehehe

slut.

That's it. That's the post. I just want to be held like this by a big monster. 🫠

wdym he’s a 21 y/o man he fits so perfectly in my pocket

Reblog if you say "Y'all"