He’s Unfixable But Very Fuckable

Simon Riley x reader

Idk what to call this but I made a fic where Simon "Ghost" Riley falls for Johnny's female roomie cuz it's been clanking around in my head for days. Also now I can finally use the time I've spent in the UK having to listen to stupid slang and banter to use💪

Also reader is a girl that's like a main plot point👍Okay enjoy!

"Ya sure this is okay mate?" Kyle asked, slightly apprehensive as he entered the apartment

"'Course it's okay!" Johnny beamed, closing the door behind them "asked 'em 'forehand anyway"

Simon just grunted and started to remove his boots. The boys had a week off from being stationed at base and though most would use this time to go home and visit family, that option wasn't really in the cards for the three.

Kyle's family had gone on vacation, he had grumbled something about "lef' me 'ta holiday in the tropics". And Simon...well his family situation was...something, so Johnny had very graciously offered to host them at his apartment for the week. Just one problem, he had forgotten to let his friends know the roommate he lived with was a girl. Not only that, but he hadn't actually checked to see if you read his last minute message. Not that he had actually had the foresight to ask if you were okay with 2 men you had never met sleeping in your apartment for a week. He texted something along the lines of "omw back" quickly followed by "bringing the boys with"

You had been napping and hadn't seen his text, and you were too groggy as you woke up and shuffled to get dressed to even notice the sounds of footsteps in the front room.

"Just set ya shite by the couch 'fer now" Johnny commented as he walked into the open kitchen

Simon took a moment to scan over the apartment. There were the obvious signs of Johnny's presence scattered all around the room. A couple of empty chip bags, an X-box with the wires of the controller's tangled into one big mess, his army green sweatshirt draped over the back of the couch, his preferred brand of cereal stood haphazardly on the counter, even those stupid Crocs he bought a year ago were by the front door. But something felt off, he knew his friend lived with a roommate but there was something strange about the other items in the flat he couldn't put his finger on.

A hairbrush was set on the coffee table, the cups that he caught a glimpse of as Johnny opened the cupboard seemed a little too nice, a small tube of hand lotion was set on the counter, and a pair of shoes that seemed a little too small and a little too clean were (unlike Johnny's) placed on the Ikea shoe rack by the door.

Kyle's voice suddenly broke him from his thoughts, "thought ya 'ad a roommate soap? Where they at?"

"They're 'ere" Johnny chimed, closing the fridge door with his hip and pouring himself some juice "probably just in 'they room" he took one sip from the glass "hold on lads let me get 'em"

He rounded the corner into the small hallway and disappeared from Simon and Kyle's line of sight. Kyle looked over to the blonde, who had (for once) forgone his usual balaclava in favor of a simple black face mask, Simon just shrugged.

They heard the turning of a doorknob at the end of the hallway, the hinges squeaking as it began to open.

"Aye come out 'ere a sec-"

A high pitched, startled noise could be heard before..."JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK MAN GET OUT!" your voice rang through the apartment clear as day.

Simon and Kyle's head's whipped around to face each other, suddenly all the pieces fell into place in Simon's head. Johnny's roommate was a chick.

"Sweet Jesus! Sorry lass didnae know ya were 'gon tae changin' in 'ere" Johnny blurted out apologetically.

"YEAH THATS WHY YOU KNOCK FIRST DUMBASS!" you continued to berate him as he stood in the door way with his hand covering eyes.

"Well how the 'ell was I 'sposed know what'chu was doin' in 'ere?" he fought back

"MAYBE BY NOT BARGING IN HERE OUT OF NOWHERE?!" Your voice strained with frustration and embarrassment

There was a brief moment of silence before-

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" A small thud could be heard as one of your shirts collided with the side of his head.

"Okay, okay I'm goin'!" he closed the door "creepin' Jesus..." he sighed

He slowly rounded the corner back into the kitchen, holding your oversized T-shirt in one of his hands. He looked up to see the gobsmacked faces of his two friends

"Wot?"

"Could've at least told us 'yer rooming with a girl" Kyle muttered, looking sheepishly towards the tile floor

"Thought I mentioned that?" Johnny said plainly

"Well, ya didn't" Simon grumbled, pausing a moment before continuing "she certainly seems...spirited"

"Nah 'hat's nothin', you should see 'er when I eat 'er scraps" he smirked "just 'bout killed me last time"

Simon couldn't help but notice the glass Johnny had poured earlier, it seemed to be some sort of fruit juice cocktail, something his friend probably wouldn't have bought for himself...

"Well-" Johnny swung his arm out dramatically as he attempted to fill the silence. Yet in that moment, the bra that, unbeknownst to you, had been tucked within the shirt he was now holding, flew to the floor.

"Shit-" Johnny went to quickly pick it up as his two friends respectfully averted their gaze from your undergarments.

"Wait..." Johnny paused to look up at the both of them "is it weird fer me to go grabbin' at it?" He asked in full honesty

Disappointed looks are what greeted him,

"Mate-"

"Bruv..."

They heard your door open suddenly and all embarrassment was forgotten as your roommate quickly picked up the bra and folded it back into the shirt before setting it on the counter

"Seriously man what were you thinking? Going to have to get a lock if you keep this up. Anyway what were you-" you stopped as you rounded the corner to find not only your roommate, but two other large men in your living area.

"Oh!" You started "Hey..." you trailed off apprehensively

Simon and Kyle both got their first proper look at you. A tight tank top clung to your figure and loose sweatpants hung from your hips, your hair haphazardly tied up with strands poking out in every direction. It then became clear to them at that moment you had not been expecting any company.

Kyle cleared his throat, ready to introduce himself, but his friend beat him to it

"These are the lads 've told ya about" Johnny began with a boyish grin, gesturing widely to his two friends, as if he was showing them off.

"From work?" you questioned

"Yup"

You then looked back to the two men in question and they both instinctively stood up a bit straighter "Ghost and...Gaz? Right?" you asked, pointing from one to the other, tilting you head in a way that was undeniably adorable to all three of them.

"'hat's us" Kyle responded brightly "Soap 'as talked 'bout you but I never caught ya name"

You gave it to them with no hesitation, before turning to Johnny "soap?" You teased, cocking one eyebrow

"It's ma' call sign lass, didnae be makin' fun of it now" he shook his finger in your face

"Yeah sure it is" you brushed him off before your eyes met the cup on the counter, you slowly turned back to him,

"What did I say about drinking my shit?!" You questioned with an accusatory tone.

"Is' just a glass" Johnny whined

You delivered a a harsh slap to his bicep "if you're going to be drinking it tell me so I can buy more, I'm tired of runnin' to the store every other day" you sighed

You moved through the kitchen closer to Simon and Kyle, opening the fridge and scanning its contents before turning to the both of them "I'll be going out, you two want anything?" You asked

They both just looked at you completely speechless and slightly confused.

"What? I assume you are probably going to be staying this week while that idiot" you gestured with your thumb to Johnny "has time off, so ya want anything from the store?" Your intuition had to be applauded.

"No we're jus' fine" Simon finally spoke. His deep voice, though not shocking, still made your hair stand on end.

"Alright then" you clapped your hands and maneuvered yourself through the small space in between the two men, a shiver ran down their spine as your front and back brushed against each of their sides, respectively

"I'm going to the gym then I'll hit the store on the way back" you say over your shoulder, grabbing your shoes "you need anything Mactavish?"

"Get some-"

"-More of the juice and the butterscotch crisps?" You finished his sentence for him and he waved his hand dismissively "you're so predictable" you murmur, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips

Simon watched as the Johnny's mouth began to form a smile of his own "I 'ave to do the washing, you got any thing ya need cleaned?" He threw back

"Lights or colors?"

"Lights"

"Then wash that shirt I threw at you"

The wicked smile now fully formed on Johnny's face as his friends watched on in surprise and burning embarrassment.

"What 'bout this 'ere?" Johnny teased, now holding your light blue bra up for everyone to see, pinching one of the straps as if it were contaminated

"What are you-" Simon and Kyle watched the confused expression on your face turn into horror then very quickly into undeniable anger

You stormed back across the flat and snatched you bra from his hand "John Mactavish you disgusting little prick" you growled "I am going to kill you one of these days and let me promise you, it will be slow" you leaned over him and pointed a finger in this face, your hight difference forcing him to bend over backwards slightly.

You threw your bra back in your room and quickly stomped back to the door "I'll be back in a couple hours" you called over your shoulder "do me a favor and kick his shit in while I'm gone eh?" You smiled towards Simon and Kyle before shutting the door behind you.

A moment of silence fell over the three,

"So how long has she been 'aving to put up wit' yer ass?" Simon asked plainly

"Little over a year now...-- oye? Whatchu mean 'put up wit' me' I'm a delight to live with"

"Clearly" Kyle rolled his eyes

"Too bad she's got such an attitude" Johnny sighed "she'd be a bonnie lass if she quit yellin' all the damn time"

"I'm sure you give her plenty of reasons to" Kyle groaned and Simon just nodded in agreement

"Ay haud yer wheesht" Johnny bit back "'member who's puttin' you lads up for a week"

The banter continued but Simon could agree with his friend on at least one point, you were bloody stunning. He just couldn't get the quizzical look you had given him out of his head, nor the way you had said his call sign so plainly. 'What had soap told you 'bout him?' He really couldn't help but wonder, wonder and pray it was the good stuff. Though knowing soap, it probably wasn't. His call sign had sounded so sweet when it came from your lips, he needed to know how it would sound when you called him by his given name. What sort of faces would you make if he poked fun at you like soap did? what if he were to be sweet to you? Did you cook? If so he needed to taste it immediately. What kind of expression would you make when you're all relaxed? How would it feel to take those pouty, pursed lips against his own and-

'Nope nope nope', Simon physically shook the thought from his head, taking a deep breath to clear his mind. You were his friends roommate and who he would be living with for a week, he had to be respectful.

"You good mate?" Gaz asked

"Fine" he replied flatly

He couldn't really understand why but he wanted you to get home from whatever you were doing immediately, it was like a burning fire had suddenly started inside him and it could only be dowsed by seeing you and having you close to him.

Johnny knew that look in his Lieutenant's eyes, recognizing the faint emotion they betrayed

'Damn smitten bastard' Johnny huffed before showing them where they would be sleeping.

Uhhh I probably will make more for this soon so stick around<3

@yumethefrostypanda for the visual I used🫶

there is literally nothing in this world more endearing than a girl who is an absolute loser

sleepy stiles

sleepy stiles who can’t get a good nights rest without you by his side. even during those hot summer nights, he needs to be touching some part of you. winter has become his favorite season because you’ll cuddle into him more often.

sleepy stiles who swears that he likes being big spoon more- but he’s lying to himself. he wants to be your personal teddy bear, just hasn’t come to terms with it.

sleepy stiles who lovesssss a good nap. anywhere and everywhere.

sleepy stiles who needs some sort of noise in order to fall asleep. which mainly means playing his spotify. and once the selection runs out, you wake up to save me by chief keef??? which is chill, ig.

sleepy stiles who is impossible to wake up. you have to literally plug his nose to wake him. but when it comes to you having a nightmare, homeboy is awake before you are. it’s like his body senses your peril.

sleepy stiles who talks your ear off about the stupidest shit, before going dead silent.

sleepy stiles who can’t help but pull you as close as possible, if you guys aren’t spooning.

save me sleepy stiles

spoiler alert!! this is (probably) going to be my next fic, what do y'all think?

kinda excited to post this one ngl

i need this man so BADLY.

Stuart Twombly aesthetic.

Quick interjection. When you say “on the line” , you mean, “online”?

So i just thought of this. Age gap romance is hot and all but lets be fr, it aint long before the younger one is gonna watch their old lover slowly slip away as time pass by. Imagine reader is just there, holding sevika's hand (who's now old, like really old, basically in her death bed) slightly tearing up, knowing it aint long before she passes away.

Side note: Hi, I've been stalking your page for a while, so apologies if im sometimes blasting your notifications, I really love your incorrect quotes xD they always made my day.

pls dont apologize!! i love it when u pop up in my inbox or in the notes!! ...but you are gonna KILL me with this ask. i’m gonna fight tooth and nail to make this at least a little fluffy bc my mental stability is hanging on by a thread as it is

hcs: with her to the end

this was bittersweet to write…oh i pray i just want her to live a long and fulfilling and peaceful life :(( 

the age gap between you and sevika is roughly ~20 yrs (she is in her early 40s by the end of canon). when the two of you first start seeing each other, Sevika agonizes over this in silence. she knows she loves you, wants to commit to you as long as you’ll have her. but she doesn’t want to hold you back. doesn’t want to take you away from the prime of your life. she’s also half convinced you’ll leave her as soon as her age catches up. she’ll express these anxieties in jokes, but you see right through her.  like if she forgets something important and you tease her for it, she’ll crack a smile and say “yeah, I’m two more slips away from the nursing home, huh?”  and you look at her seriously and say “nice try. you’re not getting away that easy, woman—you’re stuck with me.” 

the streaks of grey in her hair will eventually cover her head and she decides to just get a buzzcut. you never miss a moment to tell her how beautiful she is. because she is. seated at her council seat, now a respected Zaunite representative, swathed in her cloaks of deep colors, her grey eyes as piercing as ever. the wrinkles in her face tell stories of unimaginable pain and endurance, they are markers of her survival. and the charming lines at the corners of her eyes show the joy she discovered when she met you.

as she ages she’ll become more irritable, her vision and hearing declines and she can’t move as easily as she used to. snaps at everyone who tries to help—the only person she is okay with taking care of her is you.

as her memory fades you sit by her for long, quiet hours, telling her stories of her own achievements. reminding her of the hopes she had for Zaun. quietly passing over the darkest memories. she never quite believes you when you tell her about all that she has done, how important she was to the revolution. “I did that? I rallied them together for the battle at Noxus?” “Yes, Vika. It was all you.”  

she falls in love with you like it’s the first time, over and over again. calls your name out in a troubled tone after a nap, thinking you’re gone. when you emerge in the doorway a relieved smile spreads over her face and she holds out her right hand to you. you wrap your hands over hers, her once-strong fingers now bent and spotted, and kiss her cheek. “I was just in the garden. I’m not going anywhere, love. Don’t worry.”

you fill the house with flowers and sunlight. you tend to the garden and bring in fresh flowers every morning. you wrap her in blankets when she gets too cold, cook her the foods she remembers from childhood, and read to her until she dozes off in her chair. when the doctors tell you she will not have much time left, you throw aside all your external duties to spend every minute of the day with her. you don’t want to think about a future without her, so you make the most of every moment you spend with her. even when long stretches of time pass where she looks at you and doesn’t recognize your face. when she calls you by another name, or forgets your name altogether.

when Sevika passes away, it will be quiet. it will be warm and peaceful and painless. you were sitting at the bedside, holding her hand, chatting to her in a low voice about little nothings. when she leans back and closes her eyes, as softly as if going to sleep, you know it is time. she has always slept with a scowl on her face, as if ready for danger even in sleep. but this time her brows are relaxed, a deep peace settling on her expression.

and there’ll be a great funeral ceremony for the Zaunite Councilor; the bridges will be decked in her colors and people from Zaun and Piltover alike crowd the streets to mourn her passing. she was one of the greatest leaders of the revolution the cities had ever known, and you take comfort in knowing her deeds will be remembered, her legacy cherished.

sometimes you walk through the rooms late at night, unable to sleep without the sound of her deep breathing, thinking of all the memories you shared with her. it feels sometimes that she has only gone away on one of her business trips and will come through the door at any moment, tall and strong, demanding in her low voice, “where’s my girl?” but you know she is at peace and that she passed knowing she was loved and valued. and you know it will not be too long before you will join her again, wherever she is now—far from the pain, but still close to you.

hi so I did just ghost a girl bc I think she has a gf, which she OBVIOUSLY didn't tell me, so now I'm really sad bc I was super into her. That's my life, incase anyone was wondering !! 😋🔫

POV: You and Matt listen to music and chat about random topics after a picnic in the woods

(for a better experience, use headphones 🎧 )

• Also, listen to: Matt drives you home on a rainy night

hi guys i don’t usually come on here to talk about this, but it needs to be discussed. my friend kenzie, went missing on october seventh. she left a note saying she ran away. she hasn’t been answering anyone’s calls or texts, and claims she ran away to live with her girlfriend who lives two hours away.

she never said who her girlfriend is.

please, keep an eye out for her if you live in: pennsylvania, new york city, new york state, new jersey, maryland, and anywhere close to the areas listed.

this is her. we all really miss her, and want her to come home soon.

here is some information about her.

if you see her, don’t approach her. call 911 right away.

please, share this and help bring kenzie home.