Severeballoonknot - The Pee-pee Poo-poo Man

Omg I just i think i just I

I just realized Like most people have never heard of Hole Island and I think that’s so ridiculous cause I thought it was a really common place to go to during summers growing up but I guess I was wrong. (I guess this generation’s parents don’t care about good clean American fun anymore 🙄)Lmk if you remember going here cause I wanna find y’all hole island goers. It was this really allusive island that had like a specific passcode to get in but a lot of people found out about it so it got really popular as a vacation spot. It’s the main destination for busses and boats so all you gotta do is get on and go up to the driver and do the secret pass code (you gotta climb onto his lap while he’s driving and give him a long, wet, kiss and if he doesn’t crash you get to go) and you get launched from the bus onto this zip line that leads to hole island. You get there and you gotta bypass the no girls allowed gate (girls have cooties and the island is gay) and if you’re a girl you get zapped with the “randomized fate ray” and if you’re a guy or a they you get to enjoy the beautiful beauty of hole island . It’s got alot of holes and in one of them is the zombie ghost thing of former American president Ronald Reagan and like the main attraction of the island is that you get to skin him alive every morning and by every night his skin grows right back so the cycle can repeat forever! When I was a little kid I remembered wandering off into the woods after the daily Slut Skinning (that’s what we liked to called it) and I found what I think might’ve been the literal fountain of youth. It was being circled by helicopters bc the government is full of fun hating squares but I figured out that if you drink enough of the water fast enough that you can actually de-evolve so far that you don’t pass as a human anymore and so therefore the law doesn’t apply to you. Anyway hmu

Rotating on that dick like it’s a sit n’ spin. Or a hot dog on the hot dog roller

on tumblr people will say "yeah i've got 7 mental illnesses" then call you schizo for the most mundane symptoms and on reddit people will say "i'm a slightly awkward introvert" and you go to their profile to see their post history and they have mental health issues you didn't know god could create

Peeking out of his coffin with one eye open, a jealous President-elect Donald Trump reportedly threw his own state funeral Thursday in an effort to upstage the late Jimmy Carter’s ceremony. “I’m way deader than he is,” mumbled Trump, who lay at the opposite end of the National Cathedral as his senior aides attempted to persuade Carter funeral attendees to leave their seats and pay respects to the 45th president. “This coffin sure is impressive, isn’t it? Full Story

They’re playing some fire ass Italian music in this Olive Garden bathroom

I’m sending you off to Rupaul’s drag race like it’s the pound and you’re not welcome home until you’ve won and rightfully earned yourself a long, wet, three person kiss from Rupaul, Miss America, and Saint Peter all at once!

ELON MUSK has DIED from drinking gallons and gallons of CUM and he overdosed on the CUM

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