If You Want To Create But Feel Intimidated And Overwhelmed, You're Forgetting Something: Good Art Doesn't

Life seems to be ‘happening’ for everyone else and Miffy’s been held back and left behind.

I've been trying to stay off of social media so I can focus on other things. So last night I logged out and stayed off. But afterward I just sat in my seat thinking about having a better future. Then I got really sad like, this is my life, why is it so horrible. Why aren’t I fixing it. I always get these feeling out of the blue, but usually its like once a year. But lately it’s been every couple of months.

Then I realized that doom scrolling literally distracts me from my sadness lmao. Cause I am not usually like this, usually I’m on twitter looking for something to make me laugh or yt. 

But when I logged off, I sat in silence wondering what to do next. My options were to either go to bed or continue sitting there. 

I convinced myself to read Dungeon Meshi. I’m on book 11. It was a hard read honestly. Maybe it was because of the state of my emotion but I was not having a fun time reading it, and I like reading conflict.

But I got to this page in the book where Marcille is expressing how she didn’t have any good memories in the dungeon and if only she had given up, she wouldn’t have to suffer through the bad experiences. But in the next page she says there’s no way I could just give up. 

And wow….I felt that lol. I feel like I feel it almost everyday.

I don’t want to get into details about it because I am emotionally drained right now.

I just wanted to remember these pages, and express some love for Dungeon Meshi. Lmao I never thought I would come to love it so much. A series I would have never picked up by myself probably because I am super picky lol. I want to get all the books so I can reread it and relish all the amazing line work and compositions.

This part felt so real. I can feel the love and care Marcille has for her comrades. That shes drops all her resolve and standards to protect her friends and they do the same for her. Seeing the Dungeon Meshi crew take care of each other makes me so jealous sometimes but it’s also so sweet. I can feel the love, it oozes.

Edward Gorey's Christmas Card : 'Cat and Girl looking out of Window'

why do I only have two settings, clean and sad 

by michellelartigue

🎓🎉✨

My sister Graduated.

It was an really awful day, nothing could prepare me for it lol, I was completely shocked by it. I mean it's been days now, she graduated in the 9th of May and I am still thinking about this horrible day. Like what could I have done to make this day anything else than the day that it was. And the answer it nothing lmao, because I wasn't the one causing the problems. Maybe if I write about it, I'll think of it less. I just keep thinking this day was gonna be an easy day, I literally didn't have to do much of anything today, just get to the place and sit and watch my sister walk.

It started off fine. I was in a good mood because I had figured out my outfit for the day, and I really liked it, I thought it was so simple and cute and not to eye catching. I had an outfit planned for this day, but I wasn't feeling it last minute, the weather and my outfit weren't matching to me, it was raining all morning. So I was able to put something new together and it made me feel good, I felt in high spirits I guess lol, it made me realized that a good outfit can really save the day lol, because it kind of did help this day, if I had hated my outfit I would of left the arena early lmao.

Long story short, I was micromanaged all day, for a good chuck of this day. Me and my sister were micromanaged, and it was so infuriating. I didn't even want to go, I just went because my sister wanted me to go, and I really didn't have plans that day. I did want to be supportive of her, I am proud of her, it was a big accomplishment. I felt like this day should of been about her, her day to relax and take her awards. She worked for it.

But the person we were with made it all about themselves. Nothing we did that day was good enough. They just kept having to nitpick at us. They couldn't say one nice thing to me the whole day, and at dinner they were talking to me like everything was sweet, like they weren't being a asshole to me all day. They're the type of person who will say some really awful things to you in a really bad way and think they are speaking from the kindness of their heart and are doing you a favor. and it's like no, you are an ASShole.

And I was just so confused all day. I was really drained of energy I didn't know how to react to any of it. I wanted to walk out of the arena so bad and go to the movies lmao. But I knew that my sister would be like WTF. I kept wanting to be happy for my sister, kept trying to turn my mood around it was not working. My sister was mad, I was mad, my brother was mad. The day had been made lol.

The only good thing out of this day was the Graduation itself. This lady coming up to me and telling me my outfit was pretty😭. And when I got home I got ready for bed and went to sleep 🛏 lmao I was done with this day.

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