Serges-meadows - Naraba

🎓🎉✨

My sister Graduated.

It was an really awful day, nothing could prepare me for it lol, I was completely shocked by it. I mean it's been days now, she graduated in the 9th of May and I am still thinking about this horrible day. Like what could I have done to make this day anything else than the day that it was. And the answer it nothing lmao, because I wasn't the one causing the problems. Maybe if I write about it, I'll think of it less. I just keep thinking this day was gonna be an easy day, I literally didn't have to do much of anything today, just get to the place and sit and watch my sister walk.

It started off fine. I was in a good mood because I had figured out my outfit for the day, and I really liked it, I thought it was so simple and cute and not to eye catching. I had an outfit planned for this day, but I wasn't feeling it last minute, the weather and my outfit weren't matching to me, it was raining all morning. So I was able to put something new together and it made me feel good, I felt in high spirits I guess lol, it made me realized that a good outfit can really save the day lol, because it kind of did help this day, if I had hated my outfit I would of left the arena early lmao.

Long story short, I was micromanaged all day, for a good chuck of this day. Me and my sister were micromanaged, and it was so infuriating. I didn't even want to go, I just went because my sister wanted me to go, and I really didn't have plans that day. I did want to be supportive of her, I am proud of her, it was a big accomplishment. I felt like this day should of been about her, her day to relax and take her awards. She worked for it.

But the person we were with made it all about themselves. Nothing we did that day was good enough. They just kept having to nitpick at us. They couldn't say one nice thing to me the whole day, and at dinner they were talking to me like everything was sweet, like they weren't being a asshole to me all day. They're the type of person who will say some really awful things to you in a really bad way and think they are speaking from the kindness of their heart and are doing you a favor. and it's like no, you are an ASShole.

And I was just so confused all day. I was really drained of energy I didn't know how to react to any of it. I wanted to walk out of the arena so bad and go to the movies lmao. But I knew that my sister would be like WTF. I kept wanting to be happy for my sister, kept trying to turn my mood around it was not working. My sister was mad, I was mad, my brother was mad. The day had been made lol.

The only good thing out of this day was the Graduation itself. This lady coming up to me and telling me my outfit was pretty😭. And when I got home I got ready for bed and went to sleep 🛏 lmao I was done with this day.

it's all coming together

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Remnants of April

April was pretty ok, when I wasn't spiraling lmao. I kept hoping that my April would be cool, cause my March was so ass. But when I started to think about it, I'm not sure what a good month is like, I haven't had one in a while lol, I forgot how they felt.

I got caught up with a lot of anime backlog,

svsss

Ousama

Apothecary(even tho I didn't finish yet)

Castlevania Nocturne (sososososososo good!!!! have to watch again)

Arcane(I'm so late ik, it was so good tho, a bit short but cool)

Kuroshitsuji school arc

its been really comforting, helps me not think so much. I even started keeping track of them when I finish lmao, and adding more stuff to watch. I thought this was gonna be my book year. I did manage to finish TGCF book 5, it was so good, that book had me giggling, it was a really silly book, with a lot of dark themes. It got really heavy at some parts (well for me it did). I keep thinking about all of MXTX's series and how I feel no problem in rereading Svsss and MDZS over and over again. But when I think of TGCF I feel sick lmao, this series is so dark and sad at times( XL past I mean, and others) that I just shutter at the thought of rereading. I will have to bookmark all the past arcs so I can skip them lmao. I can watch the donghua's just fine tho, maybe because they haven't touch any of the heavy arcs. (probably never will sob) 😭.

I also got a lot of books in April too, I haven't gotten to enjoy them yet, cause my life is always in chaos lol. But still super excited for them. Gonna miss you April, you were actually a chill month. May is kind of kicking my butt now, and it's only the 6th lol.

May so far, I haven't had an appetite for like a week now. It's kind of freaking me out. Like I still try to eat but I get full so fast and then I feel like wanting to vomit if I try to overeat ugh. At first I was like this is good, I can indicate when to stop eating. But then I got sad because I like food and I like eating. But my body won't let me ughhhhhhhh lol. I hope this doesn't last.

I got a haircut, it was long overdue, I cut like 4 inch. I asked my mom to cut it. usually I cut it myself but I was just so tired that day and asked her to do it, I wanted her to cut more, but she has this control thing about hair or whatever, I would cut it all off if I wouldn't absolutely hate myself the next day.(it has to be someone else lmao)

I have decided to sell clothes that I don't use anymore or never have used. I am lowkey excited about getting rid of things. My brain has been on sell rot and everything I touch I'm like "YES SELL IT" lmao.I have a lot of clothes that I have accumulated over the years and never regulated because life keeps getting in the way, so I've just been ignoring the mess lol. So thats why I am excited that I found a solution for this. I'll try to also donate half of it to, I just need it all to go. But I have to be calm and be smart about this because I still need clothes to wear lol.

sigh~ this was suppose to be a short post

Wisteria

by roksolyana_hilevych

A Door Closes - Aglaé Bassens, 2024.

Belgian , b. 1986 -

Oil on canvas, 24 x 20 in.