PLEASE JOIN ME SISTER, IT IS SO GOOD-

TW: Brief mentions of suicide (I made it very brief because I didn’t want to talk about it too much.)

(Please don’t read if you’re triggered by this, I don’t want anyone to be triggered. So for your own sake, if you continue, then it’s your choice. If you don’t, thank you for prioritizing yourself.)

I never thought I’d found a similar story (or a story with quite a few similar aspects at least) that could possibly convey something that’s SO important to me as accurately as this one.

Aphobia has in fact made one of my closest friends kill themselves over how their family had rejected them simply because they were AroAce. Aphobia is very real, and can very much kill people as any prejudice towards any minority can.

Honestly, seeing this has given me more hope that by spreading messages like these, we can hopefully continue to and maybe even one day normalize platonic, queerplatonic relationships/attraction, aromanticism/asexuality, panromantic/pansexual, etc. And that we are just as a part of the LGBTQ+ community as any other orientation there are.

Personally, as an Oriented AroAce myself, seeing this post, made me SO happy to see that people are starting to (albeit barely from what I seen but I could be wrong) accept Aromantic and Asexual people.

If you disagree with me or whatnot for whatever reason it could be about my reblog, I don’t particularly care as long as it’s just not said here because I don’t want to debate about this in particular.

People, we need to reblog this post because we Aros and Aces deserve to be heard and seen as any other person and human. So let’s do it!! 💚🖤🤍🖤💜

Some Thoughts On Aphobia

As a disclaimer, this entire post obviously comes from an allosexual queer and these experiences are only second-hand from my view of all of this. This blog is usually a fandom blog, but I felt like talking about this because it’s personal to me, and I think that with the exclusionism of aros and aces rampant in the LGBTQ+ community, I could shed some light on some things with this personal story.

So, I have three sisters. My oldest sister is as hetero as they come (but, a huge ally ofc) but my other older sister is bisexual and I am queer/sapphic. My little sister, well, I’ve personally had theories of her being AroAce for awhile, but I didn’t want to push labels onto her or tell her how to feel. In the end, no matter her sexuality, it’s no one’s place to make assumptions. It doesn’t affect me, as long as she’s happy. 

Recently though, my little sister kept asking me more and more questions about asexuality and aromanticism. She asked about the definitions, the flag colours, all of it. And more recently, she admitted to me that she thought she was AroAce.  I gave her my full support and I was proud of her and all that. I’m a protective big sister, what can I say. (and as an aside, I am aware of the statistical unlikelihood that 3 out of the 4 of my sisters are LGBTQ+ and we all find it hilarious tbh)

Now, here’s the thing. My entire family, though this story will particularly be about my mom, knows I’m queer. They know my older sister is bi. We’ve received nothing but support and acceptance. We went to Pride this year, they helped me get into an LGBTQ+ support group, all of the things. 

So imagine my surprise when my little sister comes out to my parents and my mom immediately shuts her down. She says my sister is too young and immature to make that decision, -mind you, I was 14 when I came out, she’s 16- she said my sister hasn’t found the right person and just doesn’t socialise with people enough to know, and best of all, my mother said that my little sister will get married someday and give her grandchildren.

Now, children having to give their parents grandchildren is a rant on its’ own, but we don’t need to get into it because it’s ridiculous to think that my mother, with four children, the oldest of whom is ENGAGED and has picked out names with her fiance for kids, won’t get grandchildren. But all that aside. 

But aphobia isn’t real, right? To reiterate, my mother supports me to death. But when my little sister comes out as AroAce, suddenly it’s an entirely different matter. I even pointed out the hypocrisy of it to my mother, because it would’ve been horrible of her to say to me I’ll get married to a man someday so she shouldn’t say it to my sister. Do you know what my mom’s response was?

“I just want her to be happy.”

Because that’s the thing with aphobia. We exist in a society where happiness is derived from being in a relationship. We talk about soulmates and other halves and the people that complete us. It’s a different brand of homophobia but derived from the same ideas. Rather than it being that marriage can only be between a man and a woman, it’s that marriage between two people is required for happiness. Sex is required for love, and romantic love is required for a happy life.

To be clear, I don’t hate my mom for this, and I do think she’ll come around. I understand it’s a lot to process, but that’s because we refuse to normalise it. There are LGBTQ+ people who won’t even accept Aros and Aces into the community and act like aphobia isn’t real or that it doesn’t hurt people. They act like I didn’t have to go from comforting my baby sister to screaming at my mother for making my sister come to me, devastated. And trust me when I say my sister was lucky. I know there are Aces and Aros who’ve had it so much worse.

I took my sister to my LGBTQ+ support group. It was nice and we both enjoyed ourselves. When we got back home the first thing she said to me was “You know, it was really nice to tell people I was AroAce and not have to explain what it means.”

My point in all of this to point out that aphobia is very real, and that Aros and Aces need to be accepted into the community. It’s the same thing, the same struggle. People like my sister deserve to feel at home somewhere, and they deserve to have the rest of the community rallying behind them and giving them the platform to help explain to cishets their sexuality so that my sister and others can be left the fuck alone. She doesn’t need sex or an “other half” to be a normal, happy person. No one does. 

So TLDR: if you say Aros and Aces aren’t a part of this community, you will die by my queer sword.  And obviously, my views and opinions on all of this are very limited, as I’m not Aro/Ace. So if any Aros and/or Aces want to add on with their personal experience/opinions. I’d love to hear them and I’ll read them all.

still thinking abt this person who tried to say ao3 is a library and claimed you can't expect a library to censor its contents...

like. i don't know how to tell you that books and by extension libraries absolutely fucking do have their content censored. you wanna know how i know? because PUBLISHING SHIT LIKE CHILD PORN AS A BOOK AND SELLING IT WOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW.

no, written content is not included in the federal laws against child porn. but it is against obscenity laws, which don't allow you to sell and profit from content that fails the miller test. and written CP absolutely does fail.

"but what about meaningful explorations of abuse and dark subjects?" i hear some people whine. don't worry, the test accounts for that, because believe it or not people do have braincells and can tell when things are meaningfully depicting dark topics and when they're just pornographic! lolita, for example, does not appeal to "prurient interests", which is a fancy way of saying it condemns the pedophile it's depicting, and is not intended to be sexually appealing. therefore, it's not considered child porn.

or how about OP here, who claims we would have to ban classic books because of racist or antisemitic content? the test accounts for that, too! some books are considered to hold great literary, scientific, political, or artistic value, and therefore are preserved even as they may contain obscene content we wouldn't tolerate normally. to make it simple, the great gatsby holds literary value. your incest fanfic does not.

here's that test by the way, along with more information on obscenity laws. always check your sources!

i say all this to say- real writers, ones who officially publish, are held to real standards. you will not find sexily written incest and pedophilia on the shelves of any library, and if you somehow did, there would be legal grounds to have it banned. the real world doesn't tolerate this shit.

so in conclusion, ao3 is NOT a library. and if you want it to be one, you'll be having your work held to the same standards. US law doesn't believe in "ship and let ship".

everyone is welcome to reblog but by god don't come on here arguing for your right to publish fucking thor/loki or whatever

Before I delve into the issue of this, I need to discuss my pronouns discourse because this is important to what I want to say about this.

Preview:

(If you haven’t seen/heard about it yet, my pronouns are considered cultural appropriation because the word Fae comes from the Celtic people and therefore I can’t use them since I’m not Celtic, even though if you do your research, 1. The term didn’t even come from the Celts, and 2. most Celtic/Pagan people don’t care/like it when you use those pronouns???)

Anyways, onto the crux of the problem.

As someone who uses Fae/Faem, Fae/Faer, and She/Her,

I dealt with a few people who not only regards my pronouns as problematic because of the discourse, but also those same people who only ever uses the She/Her pronouns because I still present/align/identify with mostly feminine orientations.

Look, if I ever talk to you, one of my most repeated phrases would be “please use Fae/Faem (and/or Fae/Faer pronouns depending on my mood), those are my preferred pronouns! Though it’s okay to also use She/Her!”

But SOME people don’t understand the importance of me stressing that, instead opting to willingly ignore that and ONLY use that set.

I’m fine with that, I’m perfectly fine with being referred to as She/Her, although granted very annoyed.

But recently, it’s gotten to the point where I’m just straight up considering on ditching either all of my beloved pronouns sets, or one of them which then instantly gives me dysphoria because whenever I think about getting rid of one, let’s say one of my Fae sets, (that one is my MOST PREFERRED pronouns) it sets me off and instantly gets me into fight mode because I want those sets but my mind says “you can’t though, it’s not normal to society-”, and I hate it, I hate that I have to PROVE that I can use them, I hate that I have so much of cisheteronormative ideology shoved into my head from media and society as a whole.

I hate that I have to constantly correct/say to people to try to use ALL of my pronouns sets.

Like I understand if you don’t understand how to use it in conversations f2f and/or in text forms, or accidentally mess up with using them at first.

That’s understandable, it’s fine.

But I wished you TRY to use all of them for my sake. I wish you COULD use all of them, and you definitely could, but instead you choose the “easier option”.

Ignoring it.

That’s not flying by me anymore.

The only reason I’m adding my two cents here right now, is because I want to add my own opinion, my own beliefs into this mess because I think it should be said out loud for everyone to see and read over.

Please TRY.

Please TRY to use ALL of my pronouns.

It isn’t even that hard to just TRY.

Really, all you have to do is TRY to use all of my pronouns. If it’s really hard to get used to/understand, just ASK the person on how to use it and/or if they have links to HELP you on how to use them. I’m sure that person, as well as very much me, are more than willing to send those links/help out.

It isn’t that hard, go try it out yourself.

Sorry for the long mess of thoughts, gotta say it from my POV.

Thank you for reading all of this, enjoy your day/night.

- Seri’s Ted Talk.

Reminder that if someone uses multiple pronouns and one of them is usually associated with their agab, don't only use those and not alternate between the others, especially if the person in question has a preference for their other pronouns that aren't usually associated with their agab.

I feel like there's kind of this idea that "Oh x person uses pronouns that might be used on them because of the way they present or their agab, it technically isn't misgendering since they use those certain ones, so I'm just going to use the pronouns I "associate" the most with them!" Like no. Use those pronouns because that's their pronouns. If a gnc/queer woman is using he/him and she/her, use both and if they have a preference for one, use that certain set more. Regardless of how YOU personally feel about them.

Same goes out to she/her and he/him gnc/gay men. Use people's pronouns because that's what they want, that's what makes them comfortable, and you should respect that. Don't let your internal biases get in the way of that. Folks like me who use multiple pronouns, notice when someone uses one set more than the other because they probably have a set image of me in their head that mostly feels akin to misgendering me and or misinterpreting my identity and why I use the pronouns that I do.

Stop assuming things about people. She/her simply is she/her. Same goes for he/him. They/them. It/its. Etc. Literally NONE of those equal a certain gender, alignment, presentation, or identity DESPITE popular cisnormative beliefs. You don't know why someone uses the pronouns that they do right off the bat (don't pretend like you do) and folks aren't obligated to tell you either. Even if you find out, don't let that sway your mind/opinions on anything about them cause that can lead you to misgendering them other ways. Don't let cisnormative norms and ideals surrounding pronouns, get the better of you.

happy stimming

me, your friendly neighborhood villain apologist: zuko was never evil he was just 16

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

This, this is what I needed my entire time I’ve been experiencing my gender crisis.

Thank you for sharing this amazing app, I never knew I needed it. ❤️

How to Track Your Gender Fluidity

Recently I made a post with a screenshot of my gender tracker and was asked how I track my gender’s fluidity. I’ve been meaning to make an instructional post on how to set up the app so I redownloaded the app on a spare phone to show you guys.

In this tutorial, I will explain how to edit the MoodFlow App to track the fluidity of gender including changes and intensity, how to keep the app locked so others cannot look at your data, and how tracking genderfluidity can help someone better understand their gender identity. I will also provide some alternatives if you cannot use this app.

This method of tracking can be used by genderfluid, genderfaun, genderfae, genderflor, gendersylph, genderflux, fluidflux, boyflux, girlflux, enbyflux, questioning individuals, or anyone else on the genderfluid spectrum. Some personalization may be necessary but this tutorial will cover it.

Keep reading

Misophonia culture is having that one L O U D teacher that you really like but are too afraid to tell them that you absolutely HATE the time when they YELL out a specific word/phrase/year

(More often than not, it leads me to stimming so much in class, that it usually almost always distracts me in class :( )

.

i mean this in the kindest way possible, but a discord vent channel is not a suicide hotline. it’s not a crisis line. it’s not therapy.

obviously leaning on your friends for support is a very good thing to do, but you’ve really really gotta use your judgment & decide what issues your friends will be able to handle & what is best left to those with proper training. i’ve seen way too many instances during my online life where someone has taken an extremely serious or dangerous situation to a fandom chat server & absolutely no one there had the qualifications to handle it appropriately. in mental health crises or situations of domestic violence or abuse, bad advice can have massive consequences. i really cannot emphasize that enough. yes, ofc your friends have only the best intentions & want to help you, but they are usually not trained to handle these sorts of situations & may unintentionally tell you to do something that will make the situation worse.

pls, for your safety & well-being, treat the vent channel only as what it was intended to be: a place to vent your frustrations during a challenging day or in a stressful situation. but do not rely on it for crisis management. you gotta leave that to the experts.

I feel like we as a society do not appreciate fanfic writers enough. Imagine commiting to something you don't get paid for, not always appreciated, taking up a huge chunk of your time and the worst of all, some a**hole complaining that fanfic writing isn't actual writing.

So, thank you fanfic writers.