Enemy ‖ Eight

Enemy ‖ eight

Taehyung rethinks his actions while you have a hard time dealing with them.

⤑ word count: 9.2k ⤑ pairing:  taehyung x reader ⤑ genre: smut, friends with benefits, non-idol!au, fuckboy!taehyung ⤑ warnings: 18+ minors dni! discussions about sexual acts ⤑ prev. chapter ‖ next chapter ‖ series masterpost ‖ updates ⤑ read on AO3

you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)

Taehyung ran up the stairs and barged into the room as fast as he could, sweat washing over him as he thought about all the things that could have gone wrong in the meantime. A sigh of relief left his mouth when he realized that your clothes were still there and that no freaks had entered the room in the meantime. Well, except him, but he was the type of freak you were okay with. Maybe not anymore, but that was yet to be determined at that point.

“It’s me!” Taehyung shouted loud enough for you to hear him since it was obvious you were still in the bathroom. “I’ll watch the door.”

You didn’t say anything back, but Taehyung heard you turning on the water. As he sat on the bed and listened to you shower, he realized that Yoongi was right: he was a total asshole who was so full of himself and this idea that he was so much better than everyone out there who let themselves care about others. 

“But why do I care?” Taehyung shrugged. “You don’t stay around after a hookup, right?”

Yoongi’s eyes turned into slits as he gave his friend a glare that gave off exactly what he was feeling. “You care, Taehyung, whether you like it or not. You want a deal with this girl because you don’t want her to be with other people. You’re mad at Hoseok for interfering, which is totally fine if you want her for yourself, and you’re mad at yourself for being unable to admit it,” Yoongi explained while shaking his head at Taehyung, acting like he was disgusted with what he’d just heard. “All this time, I’ve been trying to get you to realize it, but you have to fight me every step of the way.”

“I’ve never said that,” Taehyung was quick to respond, refusing to admit to something that could have easily been true. Yoongi knew him well, and there were a lot of things to unpack in what he’d just said.

“Oh, really? You didn’t tell me you two were exclusively fucking each other?”

Ah, Yoongi slipped up. Taehyung saw a chance and took it. “Fucking and dating aren’t the same thing.”

“Yeah, I get that, trust me. But when was the last time you took a girl out for breakfast after having sex with her? Never. The last time you let someone spend the night at yours? Never. You spending a night and the morning with a girl? Unheard of,” Yoongi said in a spiteful tone, stopping just to raise his eyebrows at his friend. “But here you are, breaking all your stupid rules for this super sweet girl who seems to be able to look past all the nastiness you exude and likes you for who you are. And then, to get back at me and prove me wrong, you treat her like she’s cheap and replaceable when we both know she isn’t. Otherwise, you would have already replaced her a long time ago.”

“Maybe.” Taehyung shrugged, wondering why he felt terrible all of a sudden. “She’s a nice girl. But our deal is about sex.”

“You don’t know how to treat someone you like with respect. You really think a woman who cares enough about you to let you fuck her over and over again will be okay with you doing that to her and then walking out. How are you this emotionally stunted, man? Who hurt you?” Yoongi placed his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and patted it. “I’m telling you, if you don’t go upstairs and talk to this girl, your deal is off for good. But, I think that’s better for her unless you do something about the way you’re acting.”

Taehyung huffed at his friend. Wasn’t he already making a fool out of himself by treating you a lot better than anyone else? “I don’t know what else to do other than treat her like I’ve been treating her.”

“Really?” Yoongi leaned in, an inch away from his face, and grimaced. “You don’t know how else to treat her!? You can’t wait for her to shower, hug her, kiss her, hold her hand, take her out for burgers again, or just walk her home? You don’t know how to do that, right. All you know is how to fuck because you’re an irresistible guy, and the rest of us are losers for caring about people.”

“I never said that.” 

“Well, you meant it, and it’s coming to bite you in the ass. Know why? Because now you don’t even know how to explain to yourself why you’re feeling like shit, and I can tell that you are because you haven’t had one comeback to all of this and you’ve dropped the snarky facade, which only happens once in a blue moon. Go up there and grovel, man, and tell her you actually like her...”

Not long after, right when he was in the middle of replaying the conversation with his friend, you walked out of the bathroom. You weren’t naked, as Taehyung expected. Instead, you wrapped the towel around you and walked out to get your clothes, which he had already collected and placed on the bed for you. It was the least he could do.

“Hey,” you said and grabbed the clothes, walking back into the bathroom to get dressed. You denied Taehyung the chance to see you naked again, which wasn’t something he was used to from you. Clearly, he fucked up, like Yoongi suggested. Everything about the exchange felt cold, which was crazy considering how close you were just earlier.

A while later, you walked out of the bathroom completely dressed, and Taehyung realized that most of your make up was gone. Earlier, you had eyeliner and mascara on, he was pretty certain. Now, it seemed like the liner was gone and there were some remnants of mascara, but nothing too noticeable. Why did you already remove it? Unless…

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung decided to be the first one to speak, realizing you two just had to have a conversation about your thing, whatever it was. It was either that or not speaking again—it was obvious from the way you seemed to be shying away from him. Not letting him watch you get dressed, not looking him in the eye, not talking… The signs were there. Taehyung was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid.

“I’m just tired,” you lied, eyes focused on the door as if you were just dying to get the hell out of there. Yet, you didn’t move from your place.

“Are you sure?” Taehyung gave you another chance to be honest with him. That was your deal, right? All you wanted was honesty.

“Yes,” you responded curtly, not even looking at him.

Taehyung didn’t know what to say to that. To him, it was very obvious you were upset and didn’t want anything to do with him. It was also obvious he wanted to talk it out, yet you didn’t want to give him a chance. He asked you, twice now, and you pretended everything was fine.

“Why are you back?” you asked, breaking the silence, and Taehyung left a sigh of relief. Finally, something.

“I shouldn’t have left in the first place.” That was honest, completely. He shouldn’t have gone out and left you here alone.

“Ok…” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest and tonguing the inside of your cheek, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else. 

“I hate this,” Taehyung grunted and sat down on the bed, shaking his head. He did hate it, all of it. That was exactly why he never got involved with people—it all got too complicated. “Can we just talk?”

“Hate what?” The spite in your voice didn’t go over Taehyung’s head. You clearly decided you weren’t going to help him out at all here, and he kind of had it coming. The night was going great until he got scared of Yoongi being fucking right.

“You looking at me like that, us being this weird…” Taehyung explained, hoping you’ll understand without him going into detail. “We’re always honest with each other, right? And you don’t seem honest now.”

“You mean honest like you were when you told me you just wanted to go home earlier?” You did it again, smacked him in the face with his words, made him feel like a fool for even bringing something up. “Because you’re still here. How was that honest, then?”

“Oh… I… I’m an idiot,” Taehyung nodded and looked at you, not even trying to come up with an excuse. He was a total jerk, yes, and he had to admit it to you if he wanted you to forget this ever happened. The room suddenly felt so small and stuffy, like it was suffocating him.

“Well, that’s a good start.” You sighed and looked away again, letting your eyes wander all over the room, but never looking directly at him. It made him feel small, Taehyung realized, you not even wanting to look him in the eye. Did he really fuck up that much? It wasn’t even that serious.

“I know, I fucked up. But I came back,” he pointed out, hoping that would get him some points at least. It was more than he would have done for anyone else, and that had to count for something.

“It doesn’t really undo anything, does it?” You spread your arms, getting visibly more frustrated with Taehyung by the second, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He wasn’t good at arguing with people, especially not when they were upset, maybe even hurt. That was the worst thing about it for him—seeing you almost in pain because of something so stupid and pointless he did.

“It doesn’t,” his voice almost failed him, so Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to be as honest as he could. “All this Hoseok stuff really fucked with me.”

“Why?” You grimaced and finally decided to look at him, even if only for a second. “It’s between me and him and it’s stupid. I didn’t want you to get involved. In fact, I specifically asked you not to because it’s something I can handle. You picked a fight with him on your own.”

That was true, you were right. You never asked him to talk to Hoseok, threaten him, or stand up for you—that was all Taehyung’s doing. Why he did that was still a bit unclear to him, but he felt a need to. He couldn’t just let your ex whatever-he-was say those things about you and get away with them, it felt unfair. But, everything that happened after the fight Taehyung picked with the guy was on him. It was just because Hoseok found a way to get under his skin, and it had nothing to do with you.

He cleared his throat and spoke, “I know, but I didn’t want him to tell you these things because they’re not true and he’s just bitter.”

“You don’t have to look out for me. I know Hoseok and I know how to talk to him,” you spat the words at Taehyung, reminding him once again that you and Hoseok had a different type of connection, one that you could never have with a guy like Taehyung. It was his own fault. After all, Hoseok may have called you a slut in anger, but he’d never walk out on you like Taehyung had. 

Since he didn’t say anything to that, you went on. “So Hoseok’s the reason you did that and then just left and made me feel like the dirtiest whore out there? Yeah, let’s blame Hoseok!”

“I…” What was he supposed to say? It was so much more complex than that. It wasn’t Hoseok and the things he said about you, it was all of it together—you two being close, you three fucking, Hoseok wanting you, Taehyung being unable to be a normal person, Yoongi telling him exactly that. It was all too much. Shit like that never happened to Taehyung, and you didn’t seem to understand that. None of it was like him, and it just confused him.

Taehyung quickly got up and took a step towards you, reaching out to grab hold of you. However, he quickly gave up on the idea and pulled his hands back because he realized it wasn’t what you wanted. The last thing you needed was him touching you after what he’d done. He fucked up, big time. “No. It’s all of this.” His voice came out a lot weaker than he intended it to, but he couldn’t help it. It was difficult to admit.

“What? The deal? You can’t do it?” you asked before chuckling, but it wasn’t a happy kind of chuckle. No, it was more of an I-hate-your-guts kind of chuckle, one that Taehyung was used to by now, just not from you. “If it’s that, just tell me. I won’t get hurt. I’ll get hurt if you treat me like shit, though.”

“No, no. It’s not that, I can do it. The deal works as it is,” Taehyung nodded as he spoke, hoping you’d understand that he really wasn’t tempted to fuck other women. Yeah, he could do it, but would it feel as gratifying as fucking you did? Probably not. So, why take the risk and lose a pretty good thing? 

Yeah, that was exactly what you two had—a good fucking thing, even if a bit messy and fucked up and not what other people would go for. Did other people even matter? Taehyung sighed when he thought that mostly because he had let other people get inside of his head.

You scoffed and shook your head, your lips trembling—with anger or hurt, he couldn’t really tell. “Then what is it? I just don’t get you.” You looked at him like he was an asshole, and he deserved it. “Like… Why? Why all of this? You say you want it, then you don’t. You fight Hoseok, then you can’t do it.”

Taehyung gulped but couldn’t get himself to say a word. The truth was, he was having a hard time explaining it to himself, deciphering all the things he was feeling, all the things he said and heard, and putting them all into words that made some sense. He needed time to process it, he’d needed it for a while now, but it was easier to bury his head in the sand and hope for the best.

You, however, didn’t seem to have time to wait for him to make his mind up, and he couldn’t blame you—you have every right to be pissed off. “Ha, so much for being honest!”

“No, listen—” Taehyung sighed and realized it was now or never. Maybe you’d get it. “My friend has just been getting inside my head lately with all this talk about me having this deal with you because I never do this. And he’s been trying to convince me that I care about you, you know, like I want to be with you and I am jealous of Hoseok and all that, and it just got to me,” he spoke without pausing, watching your eyes widen as you listened, hearing his own voice falter, become weak. “He said I give you special treatment, that I don’t treat you like I treat everyone else, and that it’s obvious why. So I, being the asshole that I am, realized he was right and that I give you special treatment, so I treated you like everyone else.”

Then, Taehyung realized that your eyes were welling up with tears and that you decided to rub them before they fell in front of him. You were too proud to let him see you cry because of him, but that didn’t make him feel any better. Of course, he didn’t want to see you cry, but not because it would be uncomfortable—it was because Taehyung would know he was to blame for it, and that’s something that would have made him feel bad. No matter what kind of a guy he was, he really didn’t get off on making people cry, especially people who have always been nice to him like you have.

“It’s stupid, I know,” he went on, feeling the need to keep talking, unable to bear the silence and the sight of you almost crying because of something really idiotic and meaningless he did. “I really fucked up and I do feel bad about making you feel… Bad.”

“Taehyung, I don’t need or want you to care about me that way. You made it clear that you don’t and that you never will,” you said, your voice shaking. “But I do expect you to care for me as a person. Fuck buddies should be on friendly terms, right? I’m sure you wouldn’t treat a friend this way.”

He reached out to touch you, but you moved away, denying him the comfort of your touch. “Please, don’t, not now.”

“It won’t happen again,” Taehyung said, sighing. He was defeated, completely. You’d never moved away from him like that, never turned him down so easily, never spoke to him in that tone. “I promise.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that,” you said with a shrug, looking very hurt. “How can I be sure you won’t kick me out of your car the next time we fuck there? Or throw me out of your apartment when we’re done? God forbid your friend thinks you like me.”

Taehyung groaned at himself, sighing deeply before he said something he would regret. He just wanted to swear at himself and his stupidity for getting himself in this situation. Of course he fucking liked you—you two have been fucking for a while now, you got along well, and he had the best time when he was with you. What was so wrong about admitting that? Why did he even get upset over his friend insinuating that? “You know me, and I wouldn’t do that,” he tried to sound reassuring when he told you that, but the frown on your face told Taehyung you just didn’t buy it.

“Well, I thought you wouldn’t literally piss on me and then leave me naked in someone else’s bathroom, but I was fucking wrong, wasn’t I?” The tone of voice you used was enough to make him feel dumb. But, it was the way you looked at Taehyung that completely ruined him. Your eyes were narrowed into slits as you glared at him angrily, with disgust on your face, hurt written all over it. 

At that moment, he felt like the worst person alive. He was a selfish, horny idiot. That was all there was to it. What you said sounded terrible because it really was terrible. There was no explanation that could make it sound acceptable, no way to make it seem better. Who the fuck did things like that, honestly? The alcohol Taehyung drank evaporated from his system in the meantime, leaving him sober and embarrassed by his earlier actions.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung told you, unable to come up with anything that described what he was feeling any better. “It was a mistake. I just… I felt bad about seeing you like that.” That was the truth. It wasn’t his feelings, it wasn’t Hoseok or Yoongi—it was Taehyung and him doing this to you that made him walk away and pretend it never happened. He didn’t walk away because he regretted being with you, having the deal with you, or anything like that. He just couldn’t handle what he’d done.

His statement confused you. You frowned and asked, “Like what?” 

“I mean, I shouldn’t have tried to treat you like I treat other girls I don’t even remember,” he explained with a sigh. That was it. Seeing you like that made him feel bad because you meant more than just stupid fun at the end of a night, more than a person he can try out a kink with and move on like he didn’t know them. You didn’t deserve to be with a guy like him, who’d do that to you. “It’s a shitty thing to do, even for me, but I hope you’ll be able to… Forgive this.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” you said and tried to walk past him, but Taehyung placed his hand in front of you, making you run into it and stopping you from leaving. His hand slid down your side and wrapped around your waist, pulling your side into his stomach, but you still stared right ahead, refusing to look to the side and face him. You were too proud to give him a chance, as you should have been. Taehyung knew he fucked up.

“Let’s not do this,” you muttered the words under your breath, jaw clenched, eyes watering. Even though you seemed to be pissed off with him, you weren’t trying to break free from his touch, and that gave Taehyung some hope.

“Please don’t leave yet,” Taehyung leaned in and rested his forehead against the side of your head, taking a deep breath. You smelled divine, as always. Familiar, even. He was used to you. “Let’s talk this out.”

“Taehyung,” you said with a sigh, still refusing to look at him. “I want to leave because I don’t know what else to tell you. I feel terrible, I really want to get home, take a long shower in my own bathroom so I stop feeling so fucking dirty and gross, and I want to forget this ever happened. I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

With a gentle squeeze to your side, Taehyung exhaled softly. “You can trust me.” His words sounded so cheap now, after everything he’d done to you.

“How do I know that? I feel scared of the next thing you’re going to try to convince yourself we’re just strangers who fuck,” you admitted, voice practically cracking by the end of the sentence, and your doubt upset him. 

He wasn’t angry, just disappointed with himself. Because of the way he had acted, you no longer trusted him, and that was the one thing that was great about you two. Honesty, trust, having fun… It was possible because you could be real with each other, and Taehyung and his dick ruined that.

“I won’t,” was all he could tell you, but he meant it. He’d never do something as stupid as that again if you gave him a chance.

“Again, how do I know that?” you spat the words at him before grabbing his hand, prying it away from your body, and pushing it away from your waist in anger. Taehyung felt like you were about to really walk away for good and that he’d never get to even talk to you again, which was something he would hate to see happen. When would he ever meet someone that made him want to give this a go? He’d never met someone like that before you.

So, instead of completely ruining the whole thing, Taehyung wrapped both arms around you and pulled you in for a hug. Surprisingly, you didn’t struggle, but you definitely weren’t about to hug him back. Despite your initial protest, you relaxed in his arms and let him hug you, sighing deeply. Not knowing what else to do, Taehyung leaned in, resting his chin on your head. “Because I do fucking care for you, somehow. I don’t know what to do about it.”

It was a huge thing for someone like Taehyung to admit, especially since it was the first time he’d ever said something so personal to someone. It was like he’d just given you leverage, something you could use against him when you wanted to hurt him, and that wasn’t something Taehyung ever wanted. 

The words were hard to even think of, let alone say, but they were honest and real, and that was what he promised you. He knew that was why he hated seeing you like that, hated thinking of you as someone he could use for sex—you’d stopped being just that a long time ago. People used him for sex, too, there was nothing bad in that if both people agree on it, but with you, things just didn’t work that way, not anymore.

Taehyung wasn’t sure what he was expecting you to say to his sudden confession, but it definitely wasn’t what you mumbled, “If this is how you treat people you care about, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I don’t know how to do it, that’s the problem, and I get it,” he admitted through a whisper, feeling even more vulnerable than before. How do other people do it? How do they talk about these things, how are they okay with them? “What would make this better? Do you want to do the same to me?”

Taehyung felt you sigh before he heard you grunt, and then your body went all stiff in his arms. “Do you really think treating you like shit would make me feel better? Come on, Tae… Why would I want that?”

“We’d be even,” he suggested, even though it was a stupid think to even think. 

You moved away from his touch, and he was scared you were going to walk out. But, you only took a step backwards and looked straight into his eyes. “Fuck, Taehyung, I don’t want to be even. We’re not kids, I don't think I need to hurt you back to feel better, and I won’t. I just want to know that I can trust you not to let me down like that anymore. It’s not about the golden shower, believe me. I want to try things with someone I can trust, which is why I said yes to you in the first place. But now, I feel like the trust is gone, and I don’t know what else to do.”

That made a lot of sense. Taehyung would have a hard time trusting you if you did something similar. And then, it would all stop. Realizing how you were feeling only made his stomach drop and his throat dried up at the idea of you never trusting him again. 

So, he said the first thing he could come up with, something that sounded reasonable, something that would convince you to stay. “We don’t have to fuck until you trust me.”

“Okay, so you’ll wait for me to call you for months?” you countered with a cocked up eyebrow. Usually, when you’d give him that look, it was a sign of you being in the mood. That night, it was a sign of you thinking he was an idiot.

Taehyung gulped, feeling dread wash over him—not because he couldn’t hold on without sex for that long, but because he didn’t want to go on without talking to you or seeing you for months. Months sounded like a long time. “We can, uh, talk and hang out without having sex. Right?”

“Since when do you want that?” You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for him to come up with something.

“I’ve just told you that I do,” Taehyung explained with a sigh, realizing he’d have to work harder on convincing you. “Like I’ve said, all this with Hoseok got me thinking.”

Your eyes widened and you nodded. “Is this about the beef you have with Hoseok and you wanting to prove you’re better?”

“No, it’s not that. I just realized that you could really just change your mind and start hooking up with Hoseok or anyone else for that matter, and the thought really bugged me. Not because it’s him, but because it’s you. I have fun with you, I do see you as a friend, and it would really suck if we stopped seeing each other.” There, he said it.

“Okay, listen… The next time you start thinking about stuff that worries you and has something to do with us, just let me fucking know,” you muttered the words out and gave him a knowing look. “I don’t expect you to care or change your behavior towards me. I’m fine with getting to fuck you when we’re both in the mood, but I’m not fine with you treating me like I’m someone you can just walk out on.” 

“It will never happen again, I promise,” Taehyung crossed his heart with a couple of nods. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get in my head like that again, but I will let you know.”

You hummed and looked to the side, eyes wandering around while you thought about something. “Is it… Was it because I told you that you have a soft spot for me?”

Oh, you did say that, and it did make Taehyung feel like Yoongi was right. It felt like everyone could see it except him. When he’d heard you say it, it just convinced him that he was the only one who doesn’t know himself at all. “It was that and all the other things I’ve mentioned. It all happened within an hour and it’s a lot to process.”

“That’s exactly how I feel,” you admitted, gulping loudly, showing some kind of nervousness Taehyung wasn’t used to seeing from you. “Maybe we should go home.”

Home? Taehyung didn’t want to say goodbye for the night, not after everything. He needed to be around you for a while longer, just until he felt like everything was okay, like he hadn’t ruined everything. “Can I… Come with you?” he dared ask, knowing you could turn him down.

Without batting an eye, you did exactly that. “I’d rather if you don’t. Not now.”

“Are you sure?”

You scoffed and looked at him again, your expression softening a bit. “Yes. I want to be alone and think about everything.”

Taehyung’s heart sank to his stomach when he realized you were determined not to spend more time with him. It could have been just a temporary thing—you didn’t want to talk to him that night. But, Taehyung was scared. What if it turned into something permanent? 

So, desperately, he suggested, “Can I walk you home?”

“I’m tired, I’ll get a cab.” Once again, you turned him down easily, showing him you really didn’t want to be around him, which was upsetting, and not in the angry type of way. No, Taehyung just felt his chest shrink down until it felt like he couldn’t take a breath. 

But, he had to let you have your way. It was your right not to want to be around him, especially after the way he treated you. If he kept pushing and trying to force you to talk to him, Taehyung would just ruin everything, and he was already on thin ice with you.

Finally, he came up with something that sounded appropriate, something that would buy him a little more time with you. “Let’s share an Uber, at least.”

You said yes to that, even though unwillingly, and the wait for the Uber was really weird. You both stood out there in the cold, and Taehyung just really wanted to hug you, but it was out of the question. Your usual thing was kissing, groping, having your hands on each other when you were somewhere together. That night, you were standing feet apart, bodies not even brushing against one another, let alone touching. Taehyung could forget all about kissing and hugging. They were privileges he’d lost by being a fucking moron.

The last thing he wanted was for you to go home and think about what a piece of shit he was and decide to break things off with him. But, he couldn’t prevent that from happening. You had every right to decide you were over this thing with him, and Taehyung couldn’t do anything about it. Still, it didn’t feel like he made things right.

The drive to your place was quiet, but Taehyung used the opportunity to place his hand over yours. Surprisingly, you didn’t move it away, so that felt comforting. You may have been pissed off at him, but you at least appreciated him holding his hand over yours, and that was something. It wasn’t something he usually did, but he was desperate to keep you close then, dying to have you treat him the way you usually do.

When the driver pulled up at your place, Taehyung got out of the car with you, not even thinking about his decision twice. What was he supposed to do, drive off without getting to talk to you in private for a minute or two, without saying goodbye? He definitely wasn’t going to do it in a fucking Uber, not after the fuck up he’d made earlier.

You, on the other hand, weren’t so keen on the idea, judging by the glare you gave him when he stepped onto the sidewalk and stood right next to you. “Where are you going?”

“I want to walk you to your door,” he told you while you just stood there and glared at him, making him feel like an even bigger idiot than he already was.

“Taehyung… Please go back inside,” you hissed the words at him like you were angry, even though he thought you were on somewhat good terms again. Wasn’t that what your conversation back in the room was all about? “You can’t stay over.”

“I know…” Taehyung nodded, hoping you saw that wasn’t his goal, “I just want to… Hug you, at least.”

It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but it would definitely make him feel better. Well, it would at least make Taehyung feel like you didn’t hate him, and that was something. 

The way you scoffed made his head snap up in your direction. “You want a hug? You, Kim Taehyung? Kim I’ve-never-had-a-feeling-in-my-life Taehyung? Please.” The tone told him you were done with him for the night.

“That was mean,” he pointed out, even if he couldn’t blame you for saying all those things. You had every right to be mean to him and not take his words seriously, especially not after he walked out on you in that position at someone else’s place. Besides, you were right—Taehyung wasn’t the type of guy who cared or asked for hugs, yet there he was, needing one from you.

“It was. You’re right. I’m sorry,” you whispered, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “I’m just mad now, and that’s why I think it’s best if you go home.” 

“I think we should spend more time together and…” he gulped, “talk about it. I don’t want to go home knowing you’re mad at me.” It was the truth—Taehyung would hate going to bed knowing you’re in your bed thinking about how much you hate him or, even worse, crying over the way he treated you.

“You can’t fuck your way out of everything, Taehyung.” 

Well, touché. You had a comeback for everything he said, which usually amused him. Tonight, it only served as a reminder of what kind of an asshole Taehyung was to you and how good he’d had it all that time when he was on your good side, when you treated him well, when you were gentle with him.

He admitted, “I’m starting to realize that.” 

“Okay. Good.”

“Maybe I’ve misspoken. I meant, I don’t want to go home knowing you’re hurt because of me,” Taehyung began, hoping he’d manage to get the words out in a way that made sense. “When I walked out on you, I didn’t think that I wanted to humiliate or hurt you. I thought I should treat this girl like I treat every other one because I just don’t care and I don’t want people to get any ideas.”

You tried to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, but you failed and did it with a snort. “Wow, every girl’s dream.”

“But it’s not true, clearly,” he added quickly. It wasn’t, it really wasn’t. Fucking Yoongi was right. He did care about you and wanted things to stay the same. At the same time, Hoseok was wrong.

“I kind of doubt that, Tae,” you told him softly, eyes sparkling in the dark. 

This time, he couldn’t help but groan. “Why in the fuck would I be here? I got to fuck you. I got to play out a dumb fantasy. I could have just left like I said I would. I’d find someone else to fuck. I like us!”

“Who’s ‘us’, Taehyung? We don’t exist,” you pointed out slowly, your voice almost cracking again. You were right—you two as a thing didn’t really exist—but weren’t you friends with benefits? Wasn’t he the only guy who got to kiss you and touch you and fuck you whenever you both wanted it? That had to count for something. As if you noticed the disappointed look on his face despite not even looking at him, you sighed and quickly added, “Let’s call it a night, hm? It’s been too eventful for my liking, and I just really want to be alone.”

And then, you leaned in for a hug, which he gladly accepted. The hug you gave Taehyung was a weak attempt to try to make it seem that things were alright. You did it for him, to get him to go home and leave you alone, which he did. He let you out of his embrace when he felt you pushing away, and wished you a good night, hoping you’d ask him to stay. You promised to text him when you had time to think about the whole thing some more, but Taehyung felt that was just your way of letting him down gently. 

So, he wallowed in self-pity for a while, hoping that you’d call him or that he’d forget about it. Since he didn’t want to compromise your deal, Taehyung couldn’t exactly go out and fuck someone, which meant he didn’t have that many options other than just try to forget. He didn’t talk about the whole thing with Yoongi, deciding not to let other people mess with his head anymore. He knew what he felt, and he was just waiting for your decision. Whatever happened was going to happen between you two, and the opinions of his friends or fucking Hoseok didn’t matter.

Despite feeling like crap, Taehyung went out the next week after his friends insisted he came. He’d been spending time on his own all week, and they were wondering if everything was okay. Since the last thing he wanted was to discuss anything related to you, which would definitely happen if Yoongi had a say in it, Taehyung just decided to go out with them and pretend he was feeling just fine.

He may have gone out, but he wasn’t really drinking—just a drink or two to stay awake and have enough patience to deal with drunk assholes. Were all drunk people usually that annoying or was it just because Taehyung was finally sober for a change? Whatever it was, it made him feel antsy. He avoided large crowds and stuck with the couple of people he knew who weren’t obnoxiously drunk—not just yet. 

And then, he noticed you walking in with a couple of friends, tipsy and happy. Taehyung could tell by the way you were giggling and holding onto your friend’s arm, not even looking around the room to see who was there. Definitely drunk. The sound of your giggling filled his ears, and he wished he could just walk over to you and kiss you, maybe even grab your ass, ask you to come upstairs with him, like he’d done so many times before. But, even a hug would have been nice. He just needed a sign that it was all okay, that it would go back to normal, that he hasn’t ruined the whole thing by thinking with his stupid fucking dick.

Your eyes meet for a second or two, but definitely long enough for you to realize it was him you were looking at. You froze for an instant but quickly recovered and looked away, continuing to talk to your friends, making your way out of the room and into the next one, away from Taehyung’s questioning gaze. He had no right to follow you or walk up to you to see how you were doing. You asked him for time to think. If your idea of thinking about you two was going out and drinking with friends, he definitely wasn’t going to blame you. Taehyung just hoped you’d let him know what you’d decided and not just string him along. 

An hour later, he started feeling restless, wondering where you were, who you were with, and whether you were even thinking about him. You were all he could think about, and it felt annoying, to say the least. Taehyung had another drink in the meantime, but it was nowhere near enough to stop thinking about you. Against his better judgment, he pretended to be looking for the bathroom and walked around the place, hoping to see you. But, he was praying he wasn’t going to run into you with someone else. For some reason, that thought would really upset him, Taehyung was aware.

Thankfully, you were with your friends, dancing and laughing, looking as gorgeous and carefree as ever. You were drunk, that much was clear, but not too drunk to be out of it. He watched you dance for a while, letting his eyes wander all over your body, the body he’d had so close so many times, the body he missed having under him. Taehyung shook himself out of his thoughts about you and everything he wanted to do to you and left the room. 

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, so he texted you a while later. 

Taehyung: so pretty when you smile like that :)

After he pressed ‘send,’ Taehyung realized that sounded kind of creepy, but he couldn’t unsend it, so he just went with it. You’d already told him to fuck off, so this text couldn’t really ruin anything. He wasn’t expecting you to answer, especially not within ten minutes, but you did.

You: pretty? not a compliment i expected from you

Were you angry? Upset? Teasing? Taehyung couldn’t tell. He wished you’d told it to him in person so he could have seen your face and heard your tone. Since you hadn’t, Taehyung could only guess, so he went with teasing—it suited him the most out of all the possible options.

Taehyung: i mean, do i think you’re hot and do i want to fuck you stupid? yes. this just sounds nicer

Taehyung: and is just as true

He wasn’t sure if the texts were too much, but they were honest, and that was the most he could do—other than walking over to you and kissing you, which could probably end the whole thing. So, he stuck to texts. You didn’t respond that time, which made him realize he fucked it up. Maybe you were upset with him for not putting in any effort, for following your instructions to leave you alone, for even texting you a compliment. Maybe the other texts he sent just annoyed you even more. It was all possible, and the game wasn’t something Taehyung was used to playing, so it left him confused.

Despite feeling like crap, he didn’t have any more drinks. Instead, he hung around in the quieter rooms and tried to stay awake, even though the thought of just going home was attractive. Thankfully, Taehyung didn’t leave because he would have missed you when you came out to look for him. That was what you had to be doing when you walked inside the room and looked around until you looked straight into his eyes. His head snapped up in your direction, and you were next to him before he could blink.

“Let’s go upstairs,” you suggested, grabbing his hand. Nothing about it was gentle or sweet, but Taehyung let you hold his hand and lead the way. 

You walked up the stairs and into a random bedroom without a word, locked the door behind you in complete silence, pushed Taehyung onto the bed, and took off your underwear, sliding it down your legs while staying covered with your dress. The whole scene was confusing him, but it was so hot at the same time—you, just taking what you want, which just so happened to be him. 

The next second, you were straddling his thighs, fingers fumbling with his zipper. At that point, Taehyung stopped you by covering your hands with his and sighing. “Hey, hey… You good there?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, pouting at the zipper. “Just want to get these off.”

“Sure you can do this?” he asked, even though he was risking you getting up and walking away. “Not too drunk?”

“I’m not that drunk, Tae. Four drinks, maybe,” you explained as you finally pulled the zipper down. The next second, your hand was under the waistband of his boxers, palming to find his cock. You hissed when you did, finding it hard for you already. “I can do this. Can you?”

“Three drinks,” Taehyung told you, mesmerized by the way you were stroking him as if you were just trying to get him hard enough to fuck. He already was. “No longer angry with me?”

“Tae, let’s just… do this,” you suggested, a hint of annoyance in your voice. It made Taehyung realize he wasn’t there because you were trying to make up with him—if that even existed in a friends-with-benefits situation. No, you were just there to get off, and he was just familiar. 

“If that’s what you want,” he responded with a shrug and lifted his hips off the bed so you could slide his jeans and boxers down his thighs, just enough to let his cock spring free, thick and hard for you. 

Taehyung watched you stroke him slowly, eyes focused solely on his cock, hissing when you saw him leak precum for you. “No condom, right?” You finally looked up at his eyes as if you were trying to check if he’d lie. He hadn’t had sex with anyone else since you two argued, and he hoped this meant you hadn’t either. That would mean the deal was still on, even if things weren’t exactly peachy right then. There was hope, after all. 

“No condom,” he confirmed, propping himself up on his elbows and getting a good look at you. “Once again, you’re sure about this?”

“Tae, I need to come,” you said firmly, nodding at him right after as if he was slow. “Do you want to come too?”

“Y-yeah,” he gulped, “I do.”

“Okay, then let’s just think about coming,” you suggested, moving your knees towards his hips until you were kneeling right above his crotch and guiding his dick towards your entrance. You started to ease yourself down onto his cockhead, but Taehyung’s grip around your waist stopped you in place, and you looked up at him. “What?”

“No prep?” Taehyung questioned, wondering if you were really as sober as you claimed. None of it was like you, yet you didn’t seem to be slurring your words. You just seemed out of it, and that was somehow worse, at least in his eyes.

Your huff gave off your annoyance with him. “I just want you to fuck me.”

“Just that?” Taehyung asked, hoping he’d hear a different answer.

“Isn’t that what you’re here for?” you retorted with a half-smirk. “Not like you to talk this much when someone’s offering a quick fuck.”

Your words stung a bit, Taehyung couldn’t lie, but he had to grit his teeth and move on. You had a bit to drink, you were still angry with him, and just needed release. At least you came to him and not some other guy, choosing to end your agreement. 

“Then you’ll get fuck like you want,” he told you as he wrapped his arms around you and got up. 

Quickly, he discarded his shoes, jeans, and boxers so he could give you what you clearly wanted. Just a quick fuck, nothing more, just someone to fuck you. He could be just that, if it was all you wanted. With that in mind, Taehyung walked around you, standing right behind you before he pushed his hips into your from behind, mouth attaching to your neck.

“Shit,” you muttered when his teeth grazed your skin, his arms sliding up your clothed body, giving your tits a squeeze before moving down to rest on your hips. 

“On the bed, on your knees,” he ordered with a slap to your ass, so you listened instantly, getting in the position he asked of you, legs spread, ass up in the air. 

It was not how Taehyung wanted to fuck you, but if you wanted him to just fuck you stupid, he could do that too. So, he grabbed the hem of your dress and pulled it over your hips, letting it pool around your ribs, which were pressed into the mattress. “Fucking needy tonight,” he told you, mesmerized by the wetness between your folds, a clear sign of your arousal. 

He stroked his cock with one hand while he leaned in and spat on your hole, enjoying the way his saliva glistened on your folds. You hissed when he touched you, thumb spreading the spit all around your hole. The next second, he slid a finger in, fingering you for a couple of seconds before adding another. It didn’t take him long to finger you open and have you moaning for him.

Then, Taehyung pulled his fingers out, spat on his cock, and shoved it inside of you, grunting loudly as he did. Since you two hadn’t had sex in a while and he was so desperate to feel you, it felt better than he remembered, tighter, more welcoming. Your moans sounded even better now that he finally had you again, his hips starting to snap into yours, slowly at first.

With every groan of his name, he went harder, his stomach clenching with each thrust. It was all about you and getting you to come, and Taehyung wanted nothing more than to feel you come around him while you moaned his name. That’s what happened not long after. Instead of getting to come inside of you, you let Taehyung come inside of your throat before you swallowed and put on your underwear. Not long after, you were gone, leaving him to sit there and think how he managed to fuck things up that much.

After your little encounter at the party, you went radio silent on Taehyung again. Not a call, not a text, not a peep. He felt a bit cheap, even though he was used to fucking people and never really talking to them again. But, you weren’t just a person to him, and he was hoping he wasn’t that to you. A good fuck, and you were gone again, back to ignoring him. 

Taehyung worried about that whenever he wasn’t keeping busy, so he did stuff all the time, even deciding to go to a school game just to avoid being alone. Of course, he ran into Hoseok there, and they both had more than a couple of drinks in them by that point. In Taehyung’s mind, Hoseok was the fucking cause of everything.

If he hadn’t meddled, none of it would have happened. Did he have to walk in on you two having sex? Taehyung was getting the feeling that the guy followed you around like a puppy. Hoseok spoke about you with such annoyance in his voice, even though he was the one who was dating someone else. That could only mean he still had some kind of feelings for you and that those feelings were hurt.

Is that why he chose to join that threesome? Taehyung couldn’t see how that would help Hoseok. Watching someone you care about getting fucked stupid by a guy you can’t stand wouldn’t be on his top ways of getting back together with someone, but what did he know? Taehyung definitely wasn’t a fuck-buddy expert. Still, he could never watch a guy fuck you, not after that time. It was off limits now, anyway. 

After all that, did Hoseok really have to tell you those things, call you a slut for fucking them? He was the slut in the situation, and Taehyung didn’t mean it as an insult. Hoseok was dating someone else and decided to join you two. He had no business telling you those things or implying Taehyung or you were just good for sex. Hoseok was the one who fucked everything up, probably in the hopes of getting on your good side again, getting to fuck you the way you’ve only let Taehyung fuck you for weeks now. 

So, when the guy threw a simple insult his way, Taehyung practically exploded. It was on their way out of the uni building. He couldn’t even remember what Hoseok said, but it involved you and him, and it was said sarcastically, in a way that implied you two were done. And that was something Taehyung couldn’t stand. 

How the fuck would Hoseok know that if he wasn’t talking to you? Wasn’t that the goal all along? Were you two now in cahoots, fucking again, making fun of Taehyung behind his back for being an idiot and falling for you? It didn’t sound right, but Hoseok’s snicker told him otherwise.

That was why Taehyung ended up grabbing Hoseok by his shirt and slamming him against the wall, not even caring about all their friends being around, about random strangers being there. Fuck them and fuck anyone who’d stand up for the dude who was trying to rile him up. 

“Shut the fuck up already!” he hissed at your ex-fuck buddy, who just laughed loudly and shook his head at Taehyung. “Don’t want to fucking hear you mention her again!”

“Pussy whipped!” Hoseok grunted and pushed Taehyung’s hands away. Soon enough, people started gathering around them, telling them to chill, so they both left, each in a different direction.

The encounter left a bitter taste in Taehyung’s mouth, mostly because he acted like a moron just because he heard your name being mentioned. What was even more embarrassing than his little emotional outburst was that you found out about it. 

No word from you for a week, and then you texted the second he got into it with Hoseok, as if you were in constant contact with the jerk, as if you wanted to be with him. Did you? Maybe Taehyung was the one who got in between two people who had a thing and he was now paying for it.

You: this behavior is really childish and i HOPE it has nothing to do with us

Wow. It kind of hurt to see your text, especially since you’ve been silent for a long while. The only reason you stopped ignoring him was to tell him that, to stand up for your former (or maybe current) fuck-buddy? Great. Things were just peachy.

Taehyung: there’s no us, right!?

You: grow up!!

you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)