You Get Used To It, But It's Tiring, Because They Need You To Understand Your Own Life As A Series Of

you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.

for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?

where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.

but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.

of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.

i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.

i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?

am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.

More Posts from See-through-stars and Others

6 years ago

"Can you keep a secret?" "Sure, but why would I?"

7 years ago

Poetic Quotes #1

'Cause I was filled with poison, but blessed with beauty and rage.

4 years ago

sometimes a poem is just a poem and sometimes a poem is actually a confession and sometimes a poem is a person and sometimes a poem is a cardinal. sometimes art is just art and sometimes art is actually therapy and sometimes it’s a pipe and sometimes it’s also not a pipe. 

sometimes the text is “got home safe!” and sometimes the text is actually saying i already miss the way your hair feels in my hands and sometimes the text is a warning and sometimes the text is thank you for caring. sometimes you are on the phone with your friend and you’re talking about curious monkeys but you’re also both admitting how lonely you are but you’re also both talking about how love can be a bicycle and sometimes it is not a conversation it’s an intervention and sometimes it’s not a conversation it’s a poem and sometimes it’s not a conversation it’s an art piece and sometimes it’s just a conversation but more often it’s holding hands without touching

& sometimes you are in an argument about the dishes but none of the things you are mad about are about dishes, they’re about the stuff around the dishes and the hands and the soap and how he smelled on sunday of another girl. sometimes the dishes aren’t even dishes they’re blankets and sometimes they’re burnt food and sometimes they’re your favorite book. sometimes the song isn’t a song sometimes the song is a manipulation and sometimes the song is just bad and sometimes the song is stuck in my head from you singing it in bed and sometimes it is “i listened to this so i could learn what you like” and sometimes it is “i showed you this because i want to also show you my palm lines and my heart and the inside of my head.” 

sometimes you are dancing alone but you are not dancing alone because you are picturing seeing her in a green velvet dress across the room from you, and sometimes you are dancing with ghosts, and sometimes you are dancing with your mother’s voice. sometimes it is not a dance it is a walk and sometimes it is not a walk it is lying in bed and sometimes it is not lying in bed, it is not-dying, which is often good enough for survival purposes. 

& sometimes you say  oh, take a cookie with you when you go and you mean that i should take a cookie and sometimes you mean - take me with you, also. sometimes it is just burning something and sometimes it is burning something and sometimes it is burning a lot of other things first. sometimes it is just a shirt and sometimes it’s what you wore when you kissed her and sometimes it’s what you wore when you didn’t kiss her and sometimes it’s what you wore to the movies when you saw your last in-theatres movie without knowing it would be your last in-theatres movie. 

& sometimes the poem is just a poem and sometimes the poem is my earring in your hand and sometimes the poem is your smell and sometimes the poem is calligraphy and sometimes the poem is good lord you are addicting and sometimes the poem is a poem and sometimes the poem is unfiltered yearning and sometimes the poem is an anvil and sometimes the poem is - can i write a home, can you crawl in, can we be like little ferns, all curled up in bed. sometimes the poem is a poem and sometimes the poem is a dance and sometimes the poem is saying - no, i will skip showering, if you need me there, i’m coming.

6 years ago

In the hidden society all kinds of people study a dangerous art of dark magic. It is very dangerous and requires human sacrifices. You are a novice member who just discovered something no other member knows - Writing stories and killing characters in them counts as human sacrifices. Write a story about how you reach new hights in dark magic using fanfictions

3 years ago

Video essays that make me go "oh, so you're like smart smart"

Elon Musk and Grimes: A Retrospective

Bo Burnham vs. Jeff Bezos

The Systemic Abuse of Celebrities

Lana Del Rey: the pitfalls of having a persona

we need to talk about Call Me By Your Name

MYTH OF THE AUTEUR: Stanley Kubrick vs David Lynch

In Search Of A Flat Earth

Envy

The Commodification of Black Athletes

The Lies Of The Lighthouse

The Green Knight: The Uncanny Horror of Masculinity

Max Payne, Kane & Lynch, and the Meaning of Ugly Games

Time Loop Nihilism

How Bisexuality Changed Video Games

The Golden Age of Horror Comics - Part 1 (Part 2)

Weighing the Value of Director's Cuts | Scanline

The True Horror Of Midsommar

a few more -

You're Wrong About Cyberpunk 2077 | An Overdue Critique (this is such great critique of both the game and the genre)

Disney's Fast Pass: A Complicated History

It Has Come To My Attention You Don't All Love BIRDS OF PREY

Adaptation.

The man who almost faked his way to a Nobel Prize

Music Theory and White Supremacy

Here's the YouTube playlist! ill be adding more but that's all so far pls like and reblog xoxo 💕

6 years ago

Prompt #1167

“What are you doing?”

“Dying. Duh.”

6 years ago

Top 20 Most Popular Submissions (Part 1)

I’m so thankful for everyone who ever submitted prompts to this blog and who wanted to inspire us.

As a thank you here’s part one of the top 20 most popular prompts that you guys submitted! (Couldn’t find some of the blogs, if there are new blogs from the submitters feel free to tell me)

1. Prompt #345 by hamilfact

“So this doesn’t bother you?”

“Honestly the wings are kinda disconcerting.“

2. Prompt #313 by prettygayyyyyy

“So from the bottom of my cold, dead heart, screw you.”

3. Prompt #269 by ouilah

There is a common saying about the calm before the storm. But no one ever talks about the deafening silence after the storm hit.

4. Prompt #288 by serein-serene

“I like my coffee as black and bitter as my soul.”

“So, pink and sparkly then?”

5. Prompt #292 by punishingspace

“I still see him, you know? Like, in the corners of my eyes and such, little flashes; I’ll see him as I turn, but then he’s just gone.”

6. Prompt #359 by stringsoff

People aren’t made for each other; they make themselves for each other.

7. Prompt #327 by kubajznica

“You can’t just waltz in here like you own the place! There are regulations!”

“Relax, nobody saw me..”

8. Prompt #334 by ouilah

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

I take a sip of my 4 am Whiskey Cola drink.

“At this time…probably in bed.”

9. Prompt #338 by themalenovelist

It was not what was said that ended their relationship - it was what went unsaid.

10. Prompt #402 by peaceandwaronplanetearth

“I’ve never seen a time traveler look so lost in his own era, but there’s a first time for everything I guess.”

7 years ago

In the distant future, science has found a way to change your personality. However, to add a personality trait, one must drink a special essence that can only be produced by taking the trait away from other person. Personality Banks open, mostly filled with negative traits, that nobody ever takes. After years, comes the first person, gun in their hand, to give away a positive trait, and demands that all negative traits are handed over.

4 months ago

STEPPING INSIDE OF THE VOID .

a collection of sentence starters from the warning's album keep me fed . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary , note that there are some spanish sentences ! warnings for darker tones , swears ,

❛ so what if i'm selfish , everyone else is . ❜

❛ you're not a product of god , quit telling yourself this , ❜

❛ you always come back over & over , ❜

❛ put your ego where your mouth is , ❜

❛ it's way too late , ❜

❛ pray to your god 'til you're chewed up & spit out , ❜

❛ i'll be seeing you underground , ❜

❛ i'm bleeding just to feel alive , ❜

❛ life is nothing more than passing the time , ❜

❛ give me violence , ❜

❛ i want to make mistakes & live in regret , ❜

❛ if there's a price to pay , i'll deal with it when i'm dead , ❜

❛ show me that i'm human , ❜

❛ i have lost the pleasure , ❜

❛ skin on skin means nothing if there's no blood to bleed , ❜

❛ simply quenching hunger doesn't kill the need , ❜

❛ i don't mean to make you nervous , ❜

❛ just check if my heart's still beating , ❜

❛ it's not your fault , ❜

❛ dime, ¿qué más quieres ? ❜

❛ la sed que te da solo me hace recordar con qué poco yo te puedo ahogar , ❜

❛ sin fallar lo que tú puedas necesitar , aquí va a estar , ❜

❛ ya no te lo niegues , ❜

❛ aunque a veces quieras escapar , yo sé que aquí te vas a quedar , ❜

❛ won't you tell me what to say ? ❜

❛ pull me in & keep me nice & quiet , ❜

❛ won't you fill my void ? ❜

❛ you know you love it when i need you , ❜

❛ i find desire leaves me frozen , ❜

❛ go in for the kill , ❜

❛ you leave me begging for more , ❜

❛ i want it & you know it , ❜

❛ you like it when i'm broken , ❜

❛ it's the hope that kills you , ❜

❛ i'm still aching & breaking , ❜

❛ i wish i could enjoy worthless means of communicating , ❜

❛ i close my eyes till it all fades , ❜

❛ you can take all that you want , but it will never be enough , ❜

❛ cut me open , pay attention , ❜

❛ i will obey , ❜

❛ ' i don't care ' is such an easy lie , ❜

❛ tell me , are you satisfied ? ❜

❛ you think you're good enough , ❜

❛ you're so blissfully unaware , ❜

❛ you've got it so bad , ❜

❛ you're just a burnout , ❜

❛ the world moves on without you , ❜

❛ if you're going to rot , then add to the plot , ❜

❛ shut your mouth , ❜

❛ they're always watching you , ❜

❛ isn't it normal to love what we hate ? ❜

❛ give me something to believe , ❜

❛ the chaos drives me wild , ❜

❛ if this can't bring me to life , what will ? ❜

❛ i can't take anymore , ❜

❛ you greedy little fucker , ❜

❛ you're dressed for the slaughter , ❜

❛ love me , hate me , am i worth it to you ? ❜

❛ make me be perfect for you , ❜

❛ i couldn't die as the martyr , ❜

❛ shovel it down my throat , wash it down with remorse , ❜

❛ the silence at midnight feels like your nails down my back , ❜

❛ try not to think about it too much , ❜

❛ you've got me begging , ❜

❛ give me your psychosomatic love , ❜

❛ if you crawl to me , will you reflect what i need ? ❜

❛ the way you hurt me is never enough , ❜

❛ if you want it all , just take it , ❜

7 years ago

A hero and villain know each other as normal humans and as their super form– After all, they’re related. Write what it’s like to have to fight your little sibling because yet again, they’re trying to save the world instead of doing the dishes.

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see-through-stars - viennaofthenight
viennaofthenight

words with 2 cups of glitter, a dash of existencial angst and 3 tablespoons of romantization. hopeless romantic, art hoe, pretentious ice cream addict and swiftie.

204 posts

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