Thinking About Bagginshield And How Hobbits Don't Really Have Kings, They Have A Thrain, Sure (I Think

failed courtship

Man I’m tired and I’m sorry for bringing up some less pleasing stuff on here but I feel the need to talk about this. So recently I’ve noticed an increase in people using chat gpt to write fanfiction, even some in the hobbit fandom. Ai “art” has been a pretty difficult topic for me for a while, yet I want to talk about it more and bring people to understand the consequences of it. But I think it’s also important to bring awareness to the other parties suffering from the usage of ai. I chose Bilbo for this cause I think it’s funny how these ai “writers” forget that Bilbo is an actual writer, so to use a tool that steals from other creators would be the worst insult to his craft

So here’s what Bilbo says:

And here’s what I say, tag your favourite writers to show them support!!

@stoadsie @belalubroski @fantasyinallforms @conkers-thecosy @lucigoo @wolfsbane-and-nettles

I’ve had this headcannon for so long I’ve forgotten it’s not actually canon but I like to think that hobbits are sort of like billy goats in a way. That they can eat just about everything. Immunity to most poisons, able to eat raw or even rotten meat and vegetables without getting sick (though it’s more out of desperation then actual want) and so on.

To add on to this I like to think that because of this hobbits tend to have extremely high tolerance when it comes to alcohol and other narcotics. They can drink as much as a full grown dwarf and barely be tipsy. Which would lean more into their reputation for very high quality smoke and drink.

I’ve thought about possible reasons for this and most start with some sort of famine hundreds of years prior that made them evolve to be able to survive with little to nothing, forcing them to eat foods that to most aren’t even edible. Poisonous mushrooms, rotten meat, venomous bugs, straight up dirt.

Obviously since hobbits current day tend to be seen as a wealthy but humble sort of race I’d imagine the days of famine are long gone but the traits that let them survive have stayed, evolving more into letting them eat large quantities of food probably with some trade off of needing to sleep less or something. But the average weight for the race has grown as the extra food and less time spent foraging for such food has made them rounder

Anyway this has all combined into this idea in my head that every so often bilbo will eat something near the company, probably during the trip when they were extremely low on food, something that the dwarfs most certainly couldn’t eat without dying but bilbo would neglect to inform them of how strong a hobbits stomach is and the company would collectively freak tf out

Along with that I’d imagine later down the road (we’re heading into shipping territory) that if thorin and bilbo got married that would upset quite a lot of people, a hobbit and a dwarf, could you even imagine??? Royal marriages do tend to always upset at least one person but obviously that would raise the possibility of an assignation attempt. The good ole “poison their food”. I’d imagine Bilbo would make some comment about the food tasting odd but continue eating it no problem just for a guard or someone to burst into the room to inform them about the attempt on bilbos life, however bilbos bowl is currently empty and home boy seems just fine. I’d imagine thorin would be extremely dramatic about the whole thing, refusing to let Bilbo sleep so he can keep an eye on him the rest of the night in case he starts dying, much the bilbos irritation.

I’d also imagine that because of their resistance to famine and odd foods, plus the extra weight that if in a situation where truly no food is present, they could go for much longer time periods without eating and be just fine, though maybe slightly uncomfortable

Word vomiting over.

More family shenanigans...

I’m sorry but how am I supposed to not love the “Frodo is a Bagginshield baby” headcanon when info like this exists??

I’m supposed to believe Frodo with the raven black hair, slightly advanced height, and crystal blue “don’t touch my gold or I’ll kill you” eyes isn’t the son of Thorin Oakenshield?? ?

once again thinking about hobbit/dwarf cultural differences and I really like the idea of dwarves being all about actions speaking louder than words and are very physically affectionate with their friends and family and more generally casual touch/contact is very normal to them

Bilbo finds this out very quickly with all the initial pats on the shoulder/arm/back, which turn into arms slung over his shoulders, hugs, head pats, and a lot of casual leaning into him whether seated or standing up, as well as the various times the dwarf nearest him will quickly grab him and/or put themselves between him and any perceived danger - they're a mighty protective bunch considering they've only known Bilbo a few months

He thinks he's used to how touchy dwarves are until Thorin grabs his hand one day to assist/drag him across a rocky path through a river, and Bilbo is just about having a conniption fit at the romantic implications (from a hobbit perspective) meanwhile Thorin thinks absolutely nothing of it because from a dwarven perspective he has no reason to

i love it when there’s a gay couple oblivious to the other’s affection and their third wheel who wants nothing more than to call them a homophobic slur

I don’t know if this has been done but I thought it was funny.