This Pride, I Learnt About The Palestinian Trans Woman Oscar Al-Halabiye, Dancer And Resistance Fighter

So apparently last year the National Park Service in the US dropped an over 1200 page study of LGBTQ American History as part of their Who We Are program which includes studies on African-American history, Latino history, and Indigenous history. 

Like. This is awesome. But also it feels very surreal that maybe one of the most comprehensive examinations of LGBTQ history in America (it covers sports! art! race! historical sites! health! cities!) was just casually done by the parks service. 

hey everyone… i hate to make another post like this but every opportunity i’ve had to make money has been pulled out from under me for one reason or another. my house burned down this january, and it drained my savings account pretty much dry. i have stable housing with a neglectful and emotionally abusive family. so, not incredibly stable. i was hospitalized right before the fire for a chronic condition that worsened bc i avoided treatment that i didn’t want to pay for. the hospital bill was obviously higher than i could pay, equal to like a months rent. i’ve been bouncing around locations, couch surfing, neglecting my schooling while trying to make myself available for gigs and employment that has been promised to me but every time im told i have a job something goes wrong and all of a sudden they can’t hire me for one reason or another. it’s really fucking frustrating. if you have spare cash, it would mean a lot if you could sent it my way so i can pay for hrt, get new ids, replace things from the fire, and hopefully i can lower my medical debt so it becomes manageable to pay.

paypal: cottontailcandies

cashapp: $loosherbun

venmo: maplelove

Being Evil(TM) and posting photos of myself on the internet

Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.

Sometimes, you post on tumblr.com saying that women’s evils are not “better” evils just bc they’re women, thinking that most people will agree because obviously, if a person does a Bad Thing, it is a Bad Thing, regardless of gender. You go along with the assumption that most people have the critical thinking to know that “yes, gender does not negate horrible things people do” and you think maybe these people will scroll along or leave a little heart and go about their merry ways.

Unfortunately, you did not expect to accidentally summon every terf in a 50 mile radius who can’t decide if you’re a typical icky man or self-hating woman, and they all proceed to say “nuh uh all the cool girls are committing property damage and assaulting people” (deadass a thing I was told).

So for all those terfs who were in my reposts and anyone else who might be here, let me clarify:

The phrase “I’m just a girl” is infantilizing. It plays into the idea that women are helpless and have no agency to their choices. It opens the doors for passive misogyny and perpetuates the idea of a “weak woman”

And I stand by what I originally said, if you’re a grown ass woman who assaults someone, damages property, steals, blackmails, abuses, or dare I say murders someone, YOU!! DID!! A BAD!!! THING!!!

THE BAD THINGS YOU DO ARE NOT LESS BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN!!!!

And PS, I am an icky icky man >;P

The Watermelon Woman (1996) dir. Cheryl Dunye

Love showing people pictures of my gf who only ever takes mirror selfies with the phone covering half her face like “omg look at her she’s so so pretty yeah I know you can’t see her but look at herrrrrr”