It's Fine. I Should Be The One Apologising Since I Shouldn't Have Gotten So Heated. I Felt The Need To

Mortal Kombat x Bimbo Reader

Another test run, and these are just bullet points not full blown stories. I've already written another bimbo reader post so I suggest checking that out. Please do requests if this isn't enough.

This one is just Bi Han, Kuai Liang, Hanzo, Shang Tsung and Johnny.

"I need to die looking good."

Bi Han Noob Saibot

He doesn't understand your constant need to dress up and put makeup on, but he won't say anything about it. A lot of women are just like that, so Bi Han just figured it's a female thing. Misogynistic of him, but he doesn't care.

While seeing him training you gladly set up a chair and watched him from afar whilst drinking a cocktail, and you've attached yourself to him ever since. He couldn't take you seriously at first, but he could only admit to himself that your dense personality was a little adorable.

When the blood got too much you would hide your face in his chest, which he didn't mind even though some makeup stains would go on his clothes.

When he returned as Noob Saibot he swore to make you drop dead gorgeous, even if you already were. But you would join him in death as his revenant lover. Quan Chi was sure to give you the best manicures so long as you were loyal to him.

Kuai Liang

As a man that puts Lin Kuei traditions in high regard he could understand your need for the newest fashion and dressing well. He showed you his wardrobe and you decided to copy his style, which he found adorable.

He likes having tea with you, but you're certain he must try a frappe or at least a smoothie.

Kuai isn't one for public affection, Lin Kuei and all, but he lets you climb over him. If he's not disciplining Frost or the other Lin Kuei then he's snogging you in the snow. After you drag him into it at least. He only initiates things first if you guys are alone.

Although you didn't understand a lot of things he could appreciate you being there for him to give comfort on sensitive topics.

Hanzo 'Scorpion' Hasashi

It was like talking to a different Johnny Cage in his opinion. It was a bit jarring to have you flirting with him and not get the slightest hint that he's not interested since revenge was on his mind. It was after he was brought back as Hanzo Hasashi that he appreciated your presence more.

The Shirai Ryu are ninjas, so that meant blending into society when on mission and you had a lot of things to say about clothing choices.

The Shirai Ryu shrine looked better than he remembered, you had given him ideas on the layout and studied a thing or two on Japanese culture to make it legit.

When he caught you teaching the new members cheerleading moves he knew he had to be more welcoming with you, because those were complicated moves. And it showed him you were no stranger to teamwork. Hanzo could see the beauty in that.

Shang Tsung

This villainous man came across you giving Mileena style tips and fixing her hair. He had no clue how you snuck into the private parts of the palace, but he suspected you were partially from the Chaosrealm.

Mileena didn't react well to your absence, and after Kitana's rejection she seemed to have formed an attachment to you so Shang expected you around the palace. Shao Kahn was glad that Mileena had a nice person to look up to, so he was fine with you in the palace.

Shang had you participate in the tournament for a reason, but he underestimated your powers as well as your fighting abilities. Such beauty in combat is rare.

Johnny Cage

Barbie and Ken in the eyes of many Earthrealmers, but you two are the 'it' couple when it comes to vanity, expensive taste, and being drama queens.

He is your husband, your best friend, and your mirror. Your super power was convenience and getting yourself out of serious situations, but how it acted up was at random times. Johnny could relate to that.

In the meantime, you could both bathe in the spotlight, and the cameras. And your friends from home can be jealous and gush about you marrying an actor.

It was a match made in pink and green.

To Snaters

"Snape was a literal Nazi!"

These two are the same people?

Well, are they? Would Snape kill someone just for existing? The same way James Potter bullied him for existing?

Pretty sure he would have a motive, and his motive would make sense. If you want Nazi, check out this character Stormfront, this is really someone to vent your anger on.

Why don't you apologise? (Draft)

I'm gonna start by saying this is a chapter I wrote on this fanfic I'm writing. I'm really happy with this chapter and I'm wondering about the opinions of whoever reads it. The story is on the Archive of our Own website. It's about Fem Severus Snape who raises the son of Sirius Black and doesn't become a death eater. One of the ships is a one-sided Sirius Black/Severus Snape, where Sirius has an obsession with Snape but she doesn't return his feelings. If anyone wants more context I'm gonna slyly suggest (advertise) reading my story. Spoilers: The son in question is named Caesar and Sirius doesn't know it's his son, but believes it's Regulus' son. Caesar was adopted by Snape.

Have yet to see more obsessed Sirius so I'm writing them myself.

Sirius was at home alone, sitting in the living room in silence downing some whisky. The home in question used to be owned by his uncle Alphard, and while Alphard was a purist and dark wizard, he loved his nephew very much, or maybe he hated Walburga that much. As a final middle finger to his older sister he gave everything he owned that wasn't directly connected to the Black lordship to her most disgraced child. It was weird of Alphard to leave him some gold and a home, but he was always the strange one in the family.

Sirius never understood his dear uncle. Alphard and Regulus had the same doppelganger, and Sirius himself had the face of Sirius the 2nd, and was less like either of them. Walburga also made sure he was a walking copy of her. That didn't stop Sirius from theorising, it helped with his investigation skills.

Sirius always hated the leash she kept on him, and Alphard saw that. Alphard discreetly rejected his own father's ways, in what, Sirius had yet to discover. Alphard taught him well, guiding him on how to piss off his own mother. Sirius did every step in understanding glory. He made it his mission to show her who should be in control by doing the opposite of what she wanted, and while a lot of his punishments included the cruciatus he grew accustomed to them. He even grew to enjoy them. This is love isn't it? Walburga did that to show him she loved him.

So Sirius pissed her off even more. He made friends with a Potter, who came from a light family, and joined Gryffindor house, the breeding ground for blood traitors and mudbloods everywhere. What was great about James is that he wasn't like any other light child Sirius came across, there was a familiarity with him. Sure, he turned out to be equally as dark, but you'd think he'd at least try to be light. Remus as well, who was alright for a half blood. Those were Sirius' thoughts at the time. Who knew there was a beast underneath Remus? Sirius secretly admired Moony, the creature could cause so much destruction, and Sirius honestly believed he should let Moony take control more often. 

Why did any of this matter? He was going over what his nephew had told him. He knew what he should do, but didn't understand the steps. Even if the answer was clear it was hard for him to get to the point of it.

I was taught that I was showing love. Sirius thought to himself. I know that everything is wrong now, but how much of it was?

"It's not real love you felt for mum." came a voice in the back of his mind. It sounded like Caesar. His nephew. "I read about it. I've seen it. I've felt it. My eyes don't spark up like yours do when I think of my dear Lavender." Sirius didn't recall his nephew saying those things. "There's no way a crush looks like that. I don't doubt that you loved her, but there was no way everything was love."

The intruding voice said it like an echo.

"Grandma didn't love Grandpa, now did she? She only loved the ownership, the power. She claimed him ever since she first saw him, just like Pollux saw Irma. Just like Cygnus saw Druella." He felt a chill. "Just like you saw mama."

Sirius did claim her, this was true. He decided she was his. His darling. A strong woman to break, and when she starts accepting him into her heart he treats her well. It made sense at the time. Surely it still does. Petunia loves hurting him, she likes the pain too. It wasn't bad for them.

"You're just like them. Your family. Insane, carrying some kind of sickness or oddity. And each curse has a counter to it."

As eager as Sirius was, there was no way he'd bed anyone by the age of 13. Sirius didn't hate muggles. Severina was half blooded, his heart decided she was the one, there was no way. Besides, Petunia... The feelings he felt for her were natural. She made him submit.

"Thankfully for her, too bad for you, someone got to her first. Loved her before you could."

Oh, Regulus. Regulus! That dear little brother of his. Death was announced in the daily prophet, Sirius recalled reading the words. They didn't know who the killer was. And then came Orion's passing. Sirius wasn't invited to the funeral but it was right there on the daily prophet. Right after Regulus' own announcement. Sirius didn't understand why it was important for everyone to see, but it was important for him.

How was it for Regulus? Loving her? Was it natural or was it something else? Did he hurt her? There was no way, Walburga hardly saw the point in Regulus, he had Orion's weakness. What was that weakness? 

That's why Regulus never had to apologise. He never hurt anyone, physically. James' wife says otherwise, she believed he broke Sev's heart. Nothing Evans said could be trusted, she wasn't that smart, but she knew the most about Severina's past self. She knew that Severina and Regulus went out. She approved. He must've been good to her if Evans approved.

All Sirius did was hurt her, he would know. He enjoyed doing it. He even made up a nickname for the best memory, she never cried afterwards. He hasn't seen her cry since their first year. Looking back, maybe that was best. He didn't deserve that privilege. Seeing a happier version of her was more preferable. She didn't damn him, but she hid her contempt. He saw it in her eyes but with how unreadable her face was he didn't see it, too busy enjoying her presence.

Sometimes it was like looking at a different person.

What else did Sirius do, to have his own nephew confront him about it? He now concluded the pain part, but there was something else. Something else. Something else.

Wait, that night.

That full moon.

He wanted to share his secret with her. 

His best friend, Prongs saved her. That was his fault.

She almost died. He almost lost her, that was him. Sirius could never murder his own wife, but that night said otherwise and Dumbledore did nothing about it. He just made it worse. They all deserved to rot in Azkaban.

"That's right, you're getting there. Keep thinking, old man." came Caesar's voice.

I almost killed her.

"Bingo."

"I almost killed her." he said out loud.

If Sirius didn't understand the saying of blood going cold he definitely did now, as the image of those scared black eyes replayed in his mind.

https://www.hp-lexicon.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/official-final-version-sm.png?ezimgfmt=ng%3Awebp%2Fngcb22

Yes, I fancasted Aya Cash as fem Snape while she was in her Stormfront attire.

Johnny: Opinions and Thoughs

These are my thoughts and opinions on Mortal Kombat that a bunch of people probably won't care about, but I thought I should post them here. Now I will be using past games as reference, even though every character's interpretation/counterpart is different, they still play part to the canon storyline.

[Warning: This post is very long. Slight mention of sexual oral practise.]

I think every single character in Mortal Kombat is prideful and egotistical, the best example would be Jade in my opinion. With that being said I think the way they treat Johnny is a bit unfair. A lot of these will fall in line with my Neurodivergent Johnny headcanons and theory post, I suggest checking that out for context. I know the intros aren't canon and are more what if scenarios, but they mean something.

I have a lot of things to say regarding his character, for starters he gets invited to a tournament and sees it as a chance to show people he isn't just some actor but is legit in his martial arts. Good for him, (I've seen posts that demonise this and say it's pretty selfish as if we shouldn't be allowed to be selfish when situations call for it. Bro didn't like that people were calling him a fake and wanted to prove that he wasn't, there's nothing wrong with that.). When he shows up at the tournament half of the contestants are wearing costumes, can't blame the guy for not thinking it was real at first. There's a lady dressed as a hot soldier (I understand that it gets retconned), a bunch of ninjas standing around, and his opponents are wearing alien makeup.

First of all Johnny doesn't know about the existence of other realms, second of all it's the 90s and he's a Hollywood actor meaning he's no stranger to makeup and practical effects not to mention stunts. He probably figured it was something comic con related (as I've said in another post) and while questioning it he went along with it. He had no reason to think that Reptile and Baraka were real creatures.

When Johnny is told to finish his opponent he responds with "Yeah, right.", and I gotta say, it took me years to find out there was a sexual innuendo to that. Dude straight up thought they were demanding him to perform 'you-know-what'. That was just an example of what's to come (I'll be using the word 'example' lot). (Hollywood must be a wild place even in fiction).

First I'll start with his interactions. He's not very good at bonding with people. In mk9 we see a lot of this. I get that Johnny has his problematic moments, but in comparison to the other characters he's an angel. I'm the sort of person to sweep them under the rug, but I have to address them.

Examples:

"And I'm taking you down. I'm taking you down. I'm taking you out. I'm taking you out. And I'm taking you out... for dinner." I genuinely interpreted this as Johnny being playful. To be fair, I first saw this interaction when I was a child (say 7-9) so the fact that I could see myself doing that probably had to do with my immaturity. But everytime I rewatch it I only have fondness and not annoyance because I found it adorable just how proud he was of himself. I also appreciate how open he is about how he feels towards Sonya, I stan an honest man. However, it seems a lot of viewers saw this as him being stupid or something along those lines. If this was any other character they would be told to go to horny jail, but Johnny is met with hostility from most of the fandom.

"Nice hat :)." Johnny to Raiden in mk9. "You should be more respectful of Lord Raiden!" Liu Kang says to Johnny right away. SonicXD commented on this in his mk9 sucks video, I don't need to say anything. Johnny wasn't interested in saving Earthrealm at first, he straight up told Raiden and Liu Kang that they should call the military if Shao Kahn was that much of a threat (he was speaking facts tho). Also, I think he was still questioning what he got himself into, so Raiden and Liu Kang approaching him probably made him think he was surrounded by insane people. And then he finds out that it's all real and that he's not allowed to leave.

There's also when Johnny saved Sonya from Kano. How that went down was that Johnny was trying to escort her. By the way, this is minutes after he realised that he was in a death match and not some comic con related fighting tournament, everyone was waiting for him to kill Baraka and it dawned on him just how serious they were. So Johnny got worried for Sonya's safety by that alone. But it's also understandable on Sonya's end: here comes this guy trying to chat her up (get into her pants) and not getting the hint that she's not interested, and then tries to convince her that he needs to be by her side.

Cyrax got annoyed just by hearing him talk, you can see it on his face. I saw it as friendly banter on Johnny's side but Cyrax didn't. "Not everyone gets to rumble with a celebrity. Ready for a beat down, Sunshine? Here it comes." I think Cyrax was gonna kill him by that alone if it wasn't for Raiden's disapproving dad stares. Every single Lin Kuei is super serious so I think Cyrax didn't take it as banter.

Next is Jax. Johnny Green, Jax Purple: "So what's the deal with you and Sonya anyway? She is smocking hot." "It's not like that. I'm her CO." "Honey like that under my command-" "You'll wanna stop talking now." "...So if it's not like that- Then you won't mind if I-" "That's it!" And then Jax proceeds to beat him up.

Now I understand that Johnny was talking too much, and was a tad bit slimy about his hornyness, but he didn't want to get between her and Jax if they were a thing. He just has no filter. Now following my Neurodivergent headcanons for him this may have an occasion where he wasn't reading the social cues. Jax says "You'll wanna stop talking now." but Johnny has no intentions to stop talking nor does he want to stop talking. Johnny doesn't answer immediately, perhaps confused about the reply and ultimately deciding to ignore it. I too choose the wrong times to start talking to people, and most of the time I don't realise it unless it's pointed out. Happens way often than I'd like to admit.

I know that a lot of the characters call Johnny a clown or see him as a joke (Spawn, Kotal, Shang Tsung) due to how he operates, but I don't see that as the case. There's one specific quote in mk9's story mode that he says to Raiden: "Sure, let's go and ruin someone else's life." This is why I think Johnny was very aware of what was going on. He's also very open about his ego, he doesn't hide it like everyone else, and yes they are hiding it.

Now don't get me wrong, he does randomly antagonise people, but he's in a tournament so he can do that. And it's not like he was getting personal for most of them. I think the only time he says something personal is when he feels like he's being personally attacked.

"We have something in common?" - Johnny

"I too was once young and foolish." - Nightwolf

"But I looked good doing it." - Johnny

What Nightwolf said sounded like a backhanded comment to me. Uncalled for. This is the same guy that intentionally risked the invasion of Earthrealm just to teach Scorpion a lesson or something. Johnny can tell that Nightwolf is like the others, very serious and tolerant, so he's surprised that Nightwolf can even manage to see himself in him.

Relationships: Even in the intros it's shown that he has a better chance at friendships with the villains than with the good guys. It's more like they (good guys) are tolerable of him, especially Jax. I think Sub Zero allowing Johnny to get away with calling him Grandmaster Blueberry Ice is out of respect rather than fondness. This section can extend to interactions, as I think a lot of people misinterpret him as a person, which extends to a lot of things he says such as statements and nicknames.

Johnny asks the other characters if he can make movies based on their stories, meaning he's (in a way) asking for permission. Johnny could've easily made a movie about their lives without asking them, make money, and get away with it because it's not like they would even watch his movies (they hate him), especially non-Earthrealm characters. But he's respectful. So I guess he understands boundaries to a certain degree.

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"Heard you gave Cage a shiner." - Young Jax

"He pushes every damn one of my buttons." - Old Jax

"You, me and everyone else." - Young Jax

-----

"Not surprised I have a kid, but you." - Jax

Why can't he have a kid, Jax? He's so condescending about it too.

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"Actions speak louder than words." - Liu Kang

"Yeah, that's why I make action movies." - Johnny

"With fake fighting." - Liu Kang

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"We come from different worlds, Johnny." - Liu Kang

"Aren't you from Earthrealm too?" - Johnny

"I mean I come from the real world." - Liu Kang

Liu Kang is such a bully.

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"The answer remains no." - Scorpion

"But you'll be co-starring with yours truly." - Johnny

"Exactly." - Scorpion

I think a true friend would consider it.

-----

"What kind of name is Kabal?" - Johnny

"Got a better suggestion, Cage?" - Kabal

"For now on you're Carlos." - Johnny

Never change, Johnny. Kabal clearly finds Johnny annoying, but was able to humour him enough to answer with a question of his own, perhaps encouraging Johnny's curiosity.

-----

"Looking forward to a kindler, gentler Outworld." - Johnny

"Why? Because I'm a woman?" - Kitana

"Well that, and you're banging Liu Kang." - Johnny

I have a lot of opinions about this one. On Johnny's part I interpreted this as him giving her a thumbs up on becoming the new Kahn, and since Kitana is supposed to be on the good side she is expected to rule fairly. You know, like a good person. But then Kitana made it about feminism, so Johnny delivered a line to counter it. I honestly think Kitana was reaching at something that wasn't there and Johnny picked up on it. I'm probably making excuses for him, but that's my take. Her response annoyed me so much.

-----

"So you were to defeat Shinnok." - Kitana

"What is with people? Is it so hard to believe?" - Johnny

"Yes." - Kitana

Kitana this is literally you:

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"If it's tail you want I can get that." - Kano

"Johnny Cage doesn't pay for it, Kano." - Johnny

"A scrubble? Note the date and time :D." - Kano

Kano is so pleased.

-----

"You stole my face for Ninja Priest!" - Kano

"Art imitates life, Kano." - Johnny

"Taking my cut outta of your hide." - Kano

A call back to what I stated in the relationships, Johnny didn't ask for Kano's permission for inspiration on a character.

-----

"Why a Russian fan club?" - Johnny

"Just going where the fans are." - Kano

"You have a showman's instincts there Kano. :D" - Johnny

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"I won't play your lackey, Cage." - Baraka

"Really? 'Cause I'm feeling a BFF vibe here." - Johnny

So this one is pretty wishy washy, but thought it would be beneficial to this post. I would lowkey enjoy a storyline where Johnny is buddy buddy with Baraka, who is reluctant to accept friendship but slowly gets used to it. 

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"Oh, dude! I love westerns!" - Johnny

"The bullets are real, Cage" - Erron Black

"So are my fists." - Johnny

I'm pretty sure Johnny was just admiring Erron for what he is, kind of like meeting a nun in real life after years of only hearing about them... something like that. But Erron interpreted it as Johnny not being in the real world and treating everything as a joke.

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"Where is your fear?" - Noob Saibot

"Must've left it in my other pants." - Johnny

"We will find it." - Noob Saibot

Aww, Noob Saibot is so nice~ [Delusion] I love how Noob doesn't go out of his way to insult Johnny or belittle him, unlike some other characters.

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"Hey there, Tall Dark and Gruesome." - Johnny

"An apt description." - Noob Saibot

"Do you not get I am mocking you?" - Johnny

I headcanoned that Noob/Bi Han would take things literal, but he's also very analytical. I'm sure he was able to pick up on Johnny mocking him but didn't mind it, meaning he might have interpreted it as a nickname, which Johnny gives everyone. Wishful thinking, there could've been a lot of banter between these two.

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"You are more smug than usual." - Fujin

"I'm the new assistant thunder God." - Johnny

"Raiden should not have healed you." - Fujin

-----

"You know the evil overlord bit's played out." - Johnny

"What would you suggest?" - Shao Kahn

"Right now it's all anti-heroes." - Johnny

Is that kindness, Shao Kahn?

--------------

I think they did Johnny dirty in MK11, not gonna lie. To be fair, his storyline also didn't make sense in mkx thanks to discovering his new powers even though he's shown using them in mk9. If he was playable in mk9 story mode and his powers were usable, then the mkx part where he mysteriously saves Sonya because of the green light doesn't make sense. I think he should've been able to always use his green glow, that way Hollywood critics thinking he's fake has another tone to it. His green glow can be spotted in his movies, which is why viewers think he uses special effects, which led him to try to prove himself in the tournament.

I think the problem should've been that he couldn't control it, also as a call back to his mk9 ending. I think it's even referenced in an intro with Raiden. "Seek out the Wu Shi for instruction."

It also would be funny if everyone else was aware of it, but only Johnny wasn't. Like they all assumed he could use the green glow out of choice, but he didn't know or notice that he would go green. The fact that it happened during fights means it would only ignite in stressful situations or on instinct. He was also wearing shades for the majority of mk9 (because he likes shades), in fact he always wears shades so I think he's the only one who didn't notice the glow.

Johnny says "Yeah, those things are real." when referring to Baraka's blades, meaning he didn't feel that they were real. I'm not sure what that means, but it gives insight to his power level. Johnny defeated Shinnok. I get that Johnny 'softens him up' but he still defeated Shinnok, so I think he should've been able to at least handle Sindel. The reason Shao Kahn was defeated in mk9 is because the Elder Gods possessed Raiden which is how Raiden defeated Shao Kahn. They nerfed Johnny's character and I am not happy about that.

Now, with his upbringing and history. I think Johnny had narcissistic parents, and depending on who he got his powers from it was an inherited narcissism (don't know which parent had the powers, someone will probably say his father but let's not assume).

I think there was taught narcissism on Johnny's behalf. The thing about growing up with narcissistic parents is that you grow up thinking that their behaviour is normal, so he must've not seen anything wrong with the behaviour he learned. We also need to take a good look at his personality. He's a bit childish in terms of maturity, and this is common in individuals who grew up with a narcissistic parent. Johnny talks as if he's a teenager rather than the average 25+ year old man. To his credit he doesn't throw tantrums or lash out when his odd behaviours are called out (unless I missed something), but dude is childish. Only lashes out when his face is even slightly ruined and even blindly attacked some Black Dragons for getting a scratch on his face. However he is also very independent, from what I know. And he's a bubbly man, even when he changed, that's a character I can appreciate. I think him and Joey from Friends would be friends, even though I haven't watched Friends to confirm this.

Morality wise Johnny doesn't have wicked intent. In his mk9 story mode he says he's not gonna kill anyone when told to kill Baraka, realising that it's not an everyday tournament. He's okay with fighting people for sport (let's establish that tournaments are basically a sport) but not killing people. The tournament is like a perverted form of kill or be killed, one Johnny was forced into participating in some form (I'm talking about the killing and fighting for Earthrealm part). I don't think Johnny likes killing people or anything dead related. In mkx story mode he rolls a head off the helicopter in a fit of heeby jeebies and disgust.

"Have you killed anyone?" - Terminator

"Yeah, but they were all bad." - Johnny

"Why make that distinction?" - Terminator

Like a rationale of what he's experiencing.

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"Discard your jesters mask." - Kotal Kahn

"What you see is what you get, Feather Head." - Johnny

"I thought you merely played the fool." - Kotal Kahn

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"You revel in childishness." - Kotal Kahn

"Gotta stay sane somehow." - Johnny

"How are you a warrior?" - Kotal Kahn

----

"He was insufferable. Just like you." says Fujin about Johnny's great-great grandfather. Dude might've been a mega narcissist. Narcissism is taught and learned. Another example would be old Johnny and young Johnny: 

Young Johnny - "Dad always said "Hungry people eat lunch, humble people serve it."

Older Johnny "Dad was an a**hole, Hollywood made us an even bigger one."

So based on those facts alone, Johnny comes from a long generation of egotistical people. Then we have Hollywood. I think Johnny got into Hollywood not just because of creative thinking, but I think there's also a sense of longing there. Narcissistic parents, ignore, abandon and degrade their children. Along with making movies being a hyper fixation, their abandonment played a part in his need for spotlight. Johnny divorcing Sonya for her neglect might be more personal because it was a reminder of his parents.

I heard that there's a lot of narcissists in Hollywood, so with Johnny surrounding himself with people like that...(yikes!) The thing with narcissists is that they are always out for themselves. An autistic person struggles with social interactions, while a narcissist will manipulate the social interaction. Johnny (and Kung Lao) doesn't do that. He very much cares about the people around him and doesn't see them as tools.

Now back to his family.

"Grandma Carlton told you my secret?" - Johnny

"(Snicker) Johnny pee pants?" - Cassie

"I had one accident! One!" - Johnny

Judging from how Johnny both asked the question and responded, I theorise it came from a place of trauma. For his mother to tell Cassie the story as if it's a funny story and give him a nickname is suspicious. I think I already mentioned this in another post but I would like to elaborate. Me personally, I don't think anyone pissing themselves is a laughing matter. People don't piss themselves for no reason, or at least most people don't. Humiliating their child is a narcissist's past time. While his mother may not have played a part in humiliating him, she still found it funny enough to tell Cassie, who also for some reason found it funny.

(I have mixed opinions on Cassie and I might get in on her in another post. I don't know how many of these I'll be making.)

Going back to the interactions between young and older Johnny, I think older Johnny hates his younger self. Movie making is something Johnny loved, cash grab or not creative thinkers like doing creative things. 

I think I mentioned in another post that it's something he learned, so I'll like to continue that theory. Johnny wasn't that much of a bad person, sure he has flaws, but he's not evil or anything. So older Johnny's reaction to his younger self eagerly trying to convince him to make movies and stuff was kind of unnerving. 

It should've been something he could smile fondly at, but instead he reacts as if his passion has been beaten out of him. He finds his younger self annoying, just like everyone else. Everyone else = Sonya, Jax, and pretty much everyone else. As a person who likes coming up with stories and wants those stories to be known, I feel crushed by this conclusion of analysis. Poor Johnny.

Another fact about Neurodivergent people is that no matter what they will always be the same person no matter how much their opinions and belief change overtime, they will still have the same personality. Johnny still likes making his jokes and still gives people nicknames, but he lacks creativity in creating things. I guess applying his need for action into training the Kombat kids and working with the Special Forces counts as a slight change.

I'm coming close to an end so I'll sum it up by saying that Johnny shouldn't have got back together with Sonya. I don't ship them and I'm making it clear that I hate them together. Even before mk11 I thought the ship didn't make sense and it needs to be a character that doesn't tolerate him but actually enjoys his company from the beginning. It took me everything not to write that Johnny is a national treasure that should be protected.

Shujinko is an agent of chaos rant

More crap I keep coming with. These are things I wrote in a Youtube comment section btw, I just expanded on it a bit more to post here. I recommend checking out Cynical Warlock, he's got some great videos on Mortal Kombat.

I wish we were given a story mode that not only reintroduces Shujinko, but also the kahoots he got himself involved with outside Onaga. Like lying to Hotaru about King Zeffeero, and spreading chaos in Seido for Havik in exchange for coins (it’s a tiny side quest in konquest mode where the player bumps into Havik in seido). Have Shujinko be a righteous man who has no clue he might be insane, if you count randomly punching civilians and thievery to be a part of the story arc. He’s an agent of chaos that is unaware of his chaotic side, and Seidans can smell it on him, so a lot of them stay clear of him. It could explain why he turned on Liu Kang and the others in Kung Lao’s ending. There’s a quiet evil lingering, but it doesn’t want to take things over, it just desires to cause trouble.

I hope Shujinko plays a part in the Titan Havik story, because in my opinion it'll just feel wrong if he's not there since he's the reason we know of Choasrealm, same with Hotaru. There needs to be Hotaru, he's the order to Havik's chaos, and Shujinko is the child caught between those divorced parents.

I'd like to believe that Shujinko is also a mirror to Shang Tsung in a way. He (unknowingly) does bad things in the name of good, but Shang Tsung is (cartoonishly) open about his wickedness. Both of them have the ability to copy others, and were promised some form of grandeur, only to be double crossed by the very entity that brought them up. It seems with the mk1 timeline that their stories were swapped. In the old timeline Shang Tsung was a champion for Earthrealm who decided to switch to the dark side and learn soul magic, only to betray both his masters once the opportunity came. In mk1 timeline Shujinko supposedly comes from nothing, and once he becomes powerful he has to be subdued with his memories and powers taken away. He even has the same hairstyle as Shang Tsung, they must be mirrors of some kind.

I also headcanon that Mokap is descended from Chaosrealm. He's some random motion capture guy, but seems okay with the bloodshed that's going on. In Deception's Konquest mode you'll catch him strutting around with a big smile on his face. If you punch him he won't do anything about it, he gets back up and starts strutting again like nothing happened.

Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa headcanons

Bellatrix has always been a little not alright, but never anything too severe. Most would say she was a bully, but so was Sirius based on whatever stories she heard about him in passing.

Bellatrix didn't get along well with Sirius, but she hoped he would clean himself up soon. He would deny it, but they were very much alike. He could be rehabilitated.

However, that started to change once Andromeda was burnt off. All for that muggle. Bellatrix hoped it was worth it, for Andros' sake. Sirius was burnt off in a blink, and Bella could do nothing but focus on herself.

Then Regulus died. This time it was different. Regulus was her dearest, and most precious baby cousin. Gone just like that.

If Bellatrix didn't get to have her loved ones, then neither did mudbloods. That included anyone that supported them.

Andromeda couldn't stand crazies. If she stayed in this family any longer she would become it.

The constant comparisons. The high expectations. The fake smiles, and high alertness.

She hated it. She could never trust anyone, knowing they were after something. If one couldn't go to Bella, they'd go to Andro. She was the backup plan, and always the backup. 2nd in command. Should anything happen to Bellatrix, Andromeda knew what to do.

Backhanded compliments. Gossiping behind her back. The hateful obsession with muggles. Mudbloods have never done anything to her, so there was no need to hunt them.

Ted wasn't just any old Hufflepuff. If that had truly been the case, she would've married a bloody Macmillan. Ted's kindness was influenced by his survival mode.

His kindness was always genuine, but his eyes were watchful, patient of any slight of hand. A peaceful life would be nice. So nice. She really could just disappear.

Narcissa absolutely had to be seen. She wanted to shine bright too. Unfortunately, she was her mother's daughter. Birthed for her mother to dote on, while Bellatrix and Andromeda were raised to be the perfect heiress'. Narcissa couldn't be the same, but she would show everyone that she was perfect. She would prove it. And prove it she did. She chose her husband wisely, and she played her cards correctly.

Narcissa Black is a clueless blonde? So be it. She would teach others to never underestimate her. Whether it was the personality she presented, or what was on her mind, it shall never be questioned again.

Although it was cruel, she took pride in it. While she missed her sisters dearly, it was great knowing she was the one who survived. Narcissa knew it was stupid to get the mark, and she knew the toxicity given to her was a sign of jealousy. She completed what both of them couldn't do. She handled what both of them couldn't handle.

Any influence she spread was through her husband. Her dearest lover and tool.

This time when family or anyone of importance saw her, there was hope. Admiration. She was seen and not heard, just the way that she liked it.

Ninja Assassin

Look at him

Cole Young should've been Kai

I know, I know, this is just an excuse to project how much I wanna see more black characters as main characters.

I'm pretty sure the hate for Mortal Kombat 2021 has died down to some degree, as it's been a good 3 years since the movie came out, and no ones talking about it anymore. Nonetheless, I wanted to give my take on Cole Young. I heard that the reason they made Cole Young is because they wanted to pander to the audience, and how they didn't want a white main character to be the every man that introduces the audience to Mortal Kombat... So they came up with Cole Young.

If that was the case, then Kai was right there. I mean, they did bring out characters from the Midway era, so they could've brought Kai. Let me explain myself here. Kai has fire powers as well, but he doesn't even have to be a descendant of Hanzo. They could've pulled a Miles Morales, but he doesn't have to be painted as the next Scorpion or some other crap. Kai in canon is a student/mentee of Liu Kang's, and is a member of the White Lotus. What does Cole do? He trains with Liu Kang and Kung Lao. Just like Cole, Kai can be an orphan as well.

 Of course, you can't trust them to write the script. I can't be trusted either, but here's my take on what could've been:

Kai is a college kid doing underground fighting to make ends meet or a side hustle. The ring is run by the Black Dragon, who are keeping some tabs on him due to how much money he's been making, so they set up Kobra to be his next contender. The start of the film shows him defeating Kobra, before heading home to count his money to make sure he has enough for rent. His bedroom has a set design that clues the audience in on what his interests are. There are Martial Arts posters, he has a collection of weapons (hints to poor spending habits), and there's a picture of him and his baseball team from high school. There's a metal baseball bat laying somewhere, implying that he still occasionally likes to play.

He later goes on to China Town, and purchases a random spear from some guy, not knowing that it used to belong to Hanzo Hasashi aka Scorpion. To his credit, the seller tells Kai that the spear is cursed and is said to drive people who use it insane, with all of them claiming to see images of Hell fire, and nightmares of a sceptre, that's why it's selling for such a low price. Kai tells him that he doesn't need to worry about marketing, and that he just wants the spear. (He's also a big fan of watching youtubers explore "haunted" abandoned buildings and ouija board stuff, so it's a win for him)

Kai gets on to his daily life, not knowing that he's being stalked by Kobra. He accidentally sets a few things on fire, quickly figuring out that he has new powers. He doesn't know how to control them, and tries to stay away from flammable objects. (I think Kai's fire should be a certain colour to differentiate him from Liu Kang and Scorpion. Either pink, blue or green. Pink just because, blue to imply that it's super hot, and green to reference the Chaosrealm as a hint to Kai's ancestry, made up on my part)

Kobra breaks into Kai's home and demands a rematch, and Kai uses the baseball bat to help defend himself. He accidentally kills Kobra after shooting a fireball at him, and his home catches fire. He doesn't know how to stop the fire, and in his panic, he grabs as many valuables as he can before leaving the scene. The spear, a family photo, some money.

He tells the police that Kobra was some random home invader who knocked him out, but Kai woke up in time to find the place on fire, and Kobra was still present and unfortunately burned to death. Stryker investigates, and suspects there's more to the story, sensing something off about Kai. At the same time, he can't help but feel bad for Kai, and offers his spare bedroom so long as Kai pays rent. (Cue Stryker accidentally becoming a father to a college kid)

In natural reporter fashion, the incident is broadcast to the world, alerting his whereabouts to Sub Zero, and other Outworld champions. Raiden appears and warns Kai of danger, and asks Kai to come with him. Stryker intervenes (because some random lightning guy appeared in his house), telling Kai to run while he keeps Raiden at bay. Kai runs off to hide at a nearby store or something, and that's when Sub Zero appears to kill him. Kai does pretty well to hold him off, but his flames are flaring up when he doesn't want them to. Raiden saves him, and once he's able to shoo Sub Zero away he explains everything to Kai.

Kai's family used to compete in the tournament, and after they died under mysterious circumstances, he's been stuck living by himself. (He never told anyone in fear of social services, but he's been alone since 17. Maybe they went on holiday and never came back, idk) It's one of the reasons he's making ends meet in underground fighting. Those white markings on his skin? Family heirloom type stuff. Kai's parents were one of the many who were slain by Sub Zero over the years. Coming into contact with a supernatural object activated Kai's abilities.

Kai agrees to go with Raiden to China, and trains with the White Lotus, where he is introduced to Liu Kang. Kai wants to know how to use his spear, but Liu Kang hands him a club. (I personally hate clubs, because the weapon looks so unclean and tacky. But in the game, Kai uses a spiked club, so I can't retcon anything.) Here, he becomes Liu Kang's student. Although he's good at using the club, he is still determined to use the spear, and practises by himself. He accidentally summons some fire, but it's not his fire, it's hell fire.

Edit: Kai finds out some other things about himself, like how his family were shamans of some kind, leading him to investigate how to summon entities. He starts to experience the effects of the spear, and tries to communicate with Scorpion, and find hints through his visions. The next time Kai gets into a fight, he is not himself, and his eyes shine a golden blaze.

He does find a way to summon Scorpion and bring him to the mortal world.

What, Google?