Just Watched Dear Ex (2018) For The Second Time And As I Was Expecting It Is Actually Becoming My Favorite

Robert Mapplethorpe Embrace 1982

An Cailín Ciúin // The Quiet Girl (2022)

House of Hummingbird 벌새 (2018)

HUNGER (2023) dir. Sitisiri Mongkolsiri

BEEF (2023) EP 10 | “Figures of Light” 

Just finished watching season 2 of Broadchurch. Tbh I lost interest about halfway through, but I wanted to finish it. It was so frustrating to watch. It bothered me that Beth seemed to be so upset at the fact that Mark cheated on her, but not at the fact that HE HIT DANNY. I thought the lawyers might develop some interesting story lines but, unfortunately, they just didn't do it for me. I could've done without the Sandbrook story line or maybe if they changed what happened/who killed the girls it would have been more interesting. Anyway, I did enjoy the first season of Broadchurch! I just wasn't a huge fan of this one. I probably won't watch the last season.

Little Forest

Watched: 12.03.2023

Hit pause on the turning point.This movie is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to just take a moment to breathe and figure yourself out - be it a day, month or a year. There is no point in chasing after things that do not bring you peace and happiness. Yes, you still need to deal with your responsibilities, you need an income to support yourself financially, but that does not mean you need to desire and want what everyone else strives for. We are all different, with different motivations and needs. One person enjoys a fast paced environment, someone else needs more calmness in their surroundings. There are no right and wrong answers in how to live your life, as long as you are not hurting others.

And that’s basically what the movie is about - Hye Won putting her life on pause as she tries to figure out what she truly wants, and if the goal she was trying to reach so far is what she truly desires. She reconnects to her roots, reignites her old friendships and slowly learns about her mother’s decisions in the past - understanding things she was not able to understand when she was younger.

What Little Forest offers is comfort and warmth. Beautiful scenery and amazing short cooking scenes. A message that simple life is meaningful. That making amends with your past is the way to move forward, even if it means starting from the beginning.

Additionally, we get an amazing cast delivering perfect performances. Honestly speaking, the movie is Kim Tae Ri’s, and Kim Tae Ri’s only. She carries the whole film. She fits the rural slice of life genre so well, I would have no issue watching a full 16 episodes show based on Little Forest.

Overall, big recommendation for anyone who loves a calming slice of life content with few cooking scenes that will make you hungry.

As much as Koisenu Futari is a show about love, or the lack thereof, it also does show how it can show up in many ways.

The focus is aromanticism and asexuality, yes, but also, we see the different points of view of the people around and how they relate to those types of love.

We have the junior, who thought that there was a spark between them and instead of dealing with the rejection and misunderstanding like a man he just... took some time off work and asked to change departments.

We have Minori (the sister) who seems to live the perfect romantic life and is following what society (and her parents) ask of her, and at the end, despite her love and her dutiful follow of those rules, she's being cheated on and breaks from what society demands (the divorce).

We have Kazu, who sees romantic love in a very weird lense (in my opinion) but slowly, while still holding his ideals, he understands that others are not necessarily like him and not only he ends up by respecting them and more or less understanding them, but he also is a (somewhat) good ally.

We have Chizuru, who does love but is lesbian. She is bound (through her love for Sakuko) to suffer because of a love that cannot be reciprocated. We see her deeply love and feel, and yet we do not see this love being satisfied.

A good point here is that the blame is not brought to Sakuko. Chizuru clearly says that she, herself, is the one to love and the one to get away because she rather have a friend live her life without having to worry about something she doesn't care about than forcing an unwanted love on her (Sakuko).

We have Sakuko's parents too, who seem to live the perfect traditional life. The mother doesn't seem too old, which would suggest that she followed the advice she gave to her daughters: marry and have children young. And through the series, she shows rejection, because aromanticism doesn't fit her understanding of life, then a slight acceptation: she still doesn't get it and wishes for Sakuko to marry and have children, but she also understands that cutting ties with her daughter for not accepting her making her own choices is stupid at worse, foolish at best, especially since at the end she just wants her daughter to be happy.

Last but not least, we have Takahashi. He is the textbook of "older queer" as in he knows where he stands, he understands how he feels about what, he has a way to show and share his experience to others (the blog), he clearly is used (and bored/annoyed) by the world's romanticism etc and he had cut ties with his parents. We don't have much on the parents' thing, but, or he left them because he couldn't be bothered with them being such a pain, or his parents rejected him because he's aroace. Either way, he is a pillar for Sakuko while she goes through her own aroace journey.

So at the end, we not only have a show about aromanticism and asexuality, but we also see how this pressure, this allocisheteronormativity of society, makes it hard on everyone and not just those who do not fit/do not follow those invisible rules.

The aroace narrative is wholesome and very well done, but it would be foolish to turn a blind eye on those other details (and growth) of the characters, which makes this series punch you in the gut so hard.

Koisenu Futari’s Kazu-kun: one step further into the amato-normativity discussion

So. What’s up with Kazu-kun. Why does he deserve his own post.

Kazu-kun starts as a background character, and then progressively becomes the third main character of the show.

And I love him. Which is not a small feat because I started out hating him. And all of it was very much on purpose.

Kazu-kun, I believe, exists as a vessel for the allo audience.

He’s there to asks all the questions the allo viewers are asking themselves, and then to learn and grow from the answers, and become both a friend to our protagonists and an ally to aroace people in general.

He exemplifies the arc the allo viewer would ideally go through while watching the show.

The thing about Koisenu Futari is, it’s a show made from the perspective of aroace characters, for aroace viewers. It’s about our fears, our insecurities, our experience with amato- and allo-normativity, our lives.

And it’s good thing! It’s a significant part of why I love it so much!

But it also means that it’s risking loosing it’s allo audience a bit. (I’d be curious to know how many allo people have watched this show at all tbh). Almost all the other allo characters in the show exist so our protagonists can experience being faced with yet another form of amatonormativity. Kazu-kun exist so an allo character can experience being faced with aromanticism and asexuality.

And it impacts his entire character, including and especially the flaws that made me hate him at the beginning.

Part of it is, of course, because a character needs flaws to grow out of, as the most basic way to write a character arc.

For example, he begins as the most Straight Man™ ever. He thinks Sakuko belongs to him because they dated in the past (are kinda technically on a break the situation wasn’t clear the expectations were very different), thinks cooking is easy and a woman’s job and of course doesn’t know how and thinks it’s perfectly normal because he’s a man, absolutely cannot fathom how a man could not be sexually attracted to a woman he’s even somewhat close to.

All those traits are flaws he will overcome as he grows and becomes a better man.

But part of it is also traits he needs to play his role well.

He is, for one, a very nosy character, with a strong sens of entitlement that means he’ll stop at little to get his answers. Which of course makes him absolutely insufferable at the beginning! I spent almost all of episode 4 wanting to slap him! But it’s a necessary character trait for him to actually ask out loud the questions the allo audience is quietly wondering about. If he was a proper and polite Japanese man, he wouldn’t be asking those questions, and therefore wouldn’t be fulfilling his role in the story.

And then he learns. All his questions and indiscretions get him somewhere, which is a much better understanding of aroace people. And with some luck, the allo audience learned with him, without needing to invade actual aroace people’s privacy!

(yes I’m still salty about ep4, why do you ask. just because it was narratively necessary doesn’t make it any less hard to watch)

To be perfectly honest, from a pure character development perspective, I think he changes a bit too quickly. But, well. The show is only 8 episodes. Also that’s my only complaint about this show.

He first learns how to cook, and most importantly, instantly apologizes to Sakuko for asking her to cook like it was nothing. This ability to 1) recognize when he was wrong and 2) apologize for it, is key in his whole development and one of the main reasons I’m ready to accept that he did a 180 so quickly.

Cooking, of course, if a synecdoche for every gendered expectation about couples. He’s not just learning how to cook, he’s learning that the things he was taught to expect from his future wife actually take work and are very much doable and enjoyable as a man.

Most importantly, he learns that romance is not the only register he can use to interact with women; in this case especially Sakuko. In fact, at the end of episode 4, he offers that since she is aroace, they could have a QPR together.

(the show doesn’t call it a QPR, doesn’t use the word at all, but that’s exactly what it is, both the actual arrangement between Sakuko and Takahashi, and what Kazu-kun offers to Sakuko)

So, big points for getting what Minori can’t seem to grasp in ep 6: QPR are not reserved to aromantics! Really important lesson that a lot of allies never learn.

In this specific case, I don’t think it would have worked, and it can very well be interpreted as him refusing to let go. I don’t think a QPR with the woman he’s still very much in love with is a good idea. And while he has learned a lot, he’s still pretty new to the whole thing, and I think he’d still have too many expectations that would end up hurting Sakuko.

And once Sakuko has taken the time to think about it and tells him no, not only does he listen, not only doesn’t he get upset, but he immediately reassure her that they are still friends and will keep being friends.

In that way, this whole journey of his allows Kazu-kun and Sakuko to get back the easy and joyous friendship they seemed to have lost when they broke up. Which is both the biggest and final proof of maturity on his part and the best thing he got from the whole adventure.

Once he understand that Sakuko and Takahashi are aroace and quite happy with it, he also becomes their first defender. He tells Minori off twice when she steps out of line, and is ready to correct one of their colleagues when he assumes that he and Sakuko are a couple. Good example of how to be an ally.

Faced with micro-aggression (or even overt and intentional aggression), minorities:

might get overwhelmed by emotions and are almost certainly more sensitive to it than allies

are less likely to be listened to if they correct the person, because they are a minority

often cannot afford to be angry or aggressive or anything other than incredibly diplomatic about it without being told off, a problem allies face a lot less

Hence why a big part of allies' job is correcting other privileged people. Great ally-ship, take notes everyone.

In conclusion, I said last time that Minori and Haruka exemplify how amatonormativity also harms allo people. I’d argue that, with all this:

Kazu-kun shows what allo people have to gain from getting rid of it.

(his best friend back, at least one new friend, a new vital skill, and a lot less expectations)

Whiplash (2014) is a good film. I like what is has to say about Jazz and how it's a conversation within the band members themselves, about what it means to them and how they take the pieces they play and meld it to their hands. I like that Whiplash wants to deconstruct the harshness and the perfectionism of most high-class directors and coaches. I like that it shits on and then spreads on how seriously harmful it is to the musician's psyche.

Whiplash is named whiplash because of the turns taken both by the director and the drummer. On how sudden and fast their dynamic turns sour and then blooms. It's the whiplash of learning. It's the whiplash of a piece being too fast. It's the whiplash of a piece being turned slow. It's the vertigo of motion and the motions of riffs. And the motions of emotions of riffs.

I like Whiplash because it introduces the intimacy between two people being so passionate about their craft, one too stuck and intimidating and the other too loose and full of novelty. How they change because of one another. The emotional duress and investment into each other. Is it erotic? In a way that could only be brought about by the erotism of vulnerability. The camera work does most of that conversation, conversing with it's audience without blinking. With cuts from scene to beautiful scene, showing us vulnerability.

The whiplash of the assault of their senses of each other. It's wonderful. It's deviating. It is introspective. It fucks with its vulnerability. It makes the audience feel the characters audacity for tearing and building these vails.

The failed dating, the awkward family dinner, the throwing away of neilman's passions, the peaking at a man who's career shouldn't have gone so long in predigest settings, the envelopment of class and the negging of peers.

The movie is bad. The movie is good. The movie is simply driven by it's showing rather than telling. Yet, it feels stiff at time whenever there's a lull in music. It's on purpose, it isn't.

Whiplash (2014) is a nice movie. I love how it sounds.