Nanami Deserved To Be Happy...🩵🪽

no line in cinema has understood me in the way that “I love you too. but I shouldn’t have married you” from Fantastic Mr Fox has understood me. The idea that she wanted a family and a good, safe life, and she wanted him too. But no matter how hard she loves him, he can’t change. She’s never ever going to be able to get exactly what she wants and her child will always have a complicated relationship with his father and there will be this quiet realisation they have to live with. I love you so much, but this was our mistake. and now we’ve made it theirs too.

Shinichi Sakamoto

Baby Reindeer is a masterpiece. Anyone who can handle the content should watch it. These stories need to be told.

I don’t want to go back to being alone.

when it comes to disco elysium, one of my favourite things within the game is the usage of lungs as a motif of love and the representation of this through dolores dei. it’s an incredible way of showing it, as when you love someone or something it almost seems to sustain you, becomes the air that you breathe.

however, another thing i noticed is that an overwhelming majority of the characters smoke. smoking is famously damaging to your health, more specifically to your lungs - almost like smoking is a metaphor for the way these characters show their relationships with others.

some prime examples are:

• harry du bois, who smoked heavily before losing his memory (and after, depending on player choice), a clear instance because of dora and her effect on his life and relationships for years after she left

• the smoker on the balcony, who is never seen without a cigarette, and is in an unloving sexual relationship with someone who can never understand him or truly know him at all

• klaasje amandou, who is also never seen without a cigarette, believes that she is at fault for all of her relationships collapsing and has a skewed view on what it means to love

however, my favourite example is, of course, kim kitsuragi. yes, he smokes as he enjoys the control he has over his addiction and the “cool factor” it gives him is satisfying, but i think there’s a more specific reason there - kim is so repressed that he consistently walls himself off from relationships.

kim himself says that he smokes one a day as he goes over his notes. to me, this says that he is causing minor, daily damage to his interpersonal relationships that builds up more and more over time. the fact that he does it specifically when going over notes says a lot to me too - that his work is what he’s using to push others away.

he does break this one a day rule, however - in the ending where the player chooses not to recruit kim. harry leaves kim behind. they shake hands, and as soon as harry turns away, kim lights a cigarette, a visual representation of the damage caused by another partnership cut short.

Whiplash (2014) is a good film. I like what is has to say about Jazz and how it's a conversation within the band members themselves, about what it means to them and how they take the pieces they play and meld it to their hands. I like that Whiplash wants to deconstruct the harshness and the perfectionism of most high-class directors and coaches. I like that it shits on and then spreads on how seriously harmful it is to the musician's psyche.

Whiplash is named whiplash because of the turns taken both by the director and the drummer. On how sudden and fast their dynamic turns sour and then blooms. It's the whiplash of learning. It's the whiplash of a piece being too fast. It's the whiplash of a piece being turned slow. It's the vertigo of motion and the motions of riffs. And the motions of emotions of riffs.

I like Whiplash because it introduces the intimacy between two people being so passionate about their craft, one too stuck and intimidating and the other too loose and full of novelty. How they change because of one another. The emotional duress and investment into each other. Is it erotic? In a way that could only be brought about by the erotism of vulnerability. The camera work does most of that conversation, conversing with it's audience without blinking. With cuts from scene to beautiful scene, showing us vulnerability.

The whiplash of the assault of their senses of each other. It's wonderful. It's deviating. It is introspective. It fucks with its vulnerability. It makes the audience feel the characters audacity for tearing and building these vails.

The failed dating, the awkward family dinner, the throwing away of neilman's passions, the peaking at a man who's career shouldn't have gone so long in predigest settings, the envelopment of class and the negging of peers.

The movie is bad. The movie is good. The movie is simply driven by it's showing rather than telling. Yet, it feels stiff at time whenever there's a lull in music. It's on purpose, it isn't.

Whiplash (2014) is a nice movie. I love how it sounds.

LITTLE FOREST (2018), dir Yim Soon-rye

I've been trying to watch more movies with Swann Arlaud in it so I watched Perdrix last night without knowing anything about the storyline. Definitely one of the strangest movies I've seen and also surprisingly funny. I would say it's worth the watch!

"You and I are perfect for each other. Never believe anything else."

Dark in Dusk In Winter Color Palette Meme Request for @demadogs

Poor Wöller, no one ever tells him what's going on lol