Showed The Kids On My Hike Today How To Eat The Goo From Honey Locust Seed Pods But Told Them That Without

It was a dark and spermy night...

I really need to stop applying for jobs I have no intention of taking

Nah it's fallen to Tumblr now my man best to just let it go

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

A bit of trivia:  A lot of people don’t understand what it means to “Count sheep” to sleep. In reality it’s an Insomnia treatment method where you pick a random topic where there might be several examples that fit the criteria “Disney witches” for example or “Films that feature Dracula as a character.”  It can be anything at all.  "Movies with Danny Elfman musical scores.“  You don’t Google the answer.  You lay there and try to think of things that fit the topic you chose and count them. That’s how you really “Count Sheep.”  

What’s going to make you happy right now? Is it some cake? Is it a nap? Is it calling your mom? Is it going on a drive and blasting music? Is it taking a bath? Is it reading a book?

Check in with yourself because you deserve that happiness, whatever it is.

When vampires are portrayed as mainly preying on women that's so unrealistic like I'm sorry but they're too careful especially around strange men. Dudes are much easier. You could literally lurk in a bush in the park at night and call out "whoa look at this fucked up looking squirrel" and have 3 grown men climb in immediately

Quackity: There’s a possibility you have two fathers *laughs* and there’s nothing bad with having two days, ok? One of them - one of them is a man called Luzu, and the other one is a man called Wilbur. How does that sound, son? Now we’re gonna have to choose and find out which one of them is gonna be your dad.

Tilin: *puts down a sign*

Quackity: Let’s see, what does it say? Move, move son I can’t read it.

Tilin’s sign: I’m la tres leches?

Quackity:

You’re the villain and you know that, you just want the ‘good guys’ to understand why.

Why is this so funny to me?