Son Of A Tony

Prescription sunglasses, no school, a beach, and my birthday. What could go wrong?

Me, telling my family for the 50th time: i will never have children

My older sister, immediately: I predict that to be false

...good to know my desires are being taken care of

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

Kind of obsessed with the tumblr Twitter account

anyways good night i’m gonna go indulge in my unrealistic romantic fantasies until i fall asleep

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

Every friend group has the bloodthirsty shape-shifting entity that can perfectly imitate the human voice

Thanos, the Great Liar: Part 2

Hey, Thanos, your plan is to genocide exactly half of intelligent life in the universe so that they can all thrive and live in happiness and prosperity, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

But there’s someone who went against your plan and betrayed your ideals from the very beginning, someone very, very close to you. It ain’t the Avengers. It certainly ain’t your stepdaughters. Wanna know who it is?

It’s you.

Yes, you. You went against your own plan from its very beginning. What? You don’t think so? Then I guess I’ll have to introduce - or reintroduce - you to a mutual acquaintance.

This is Eitri the Dwarf, King of Nidavellir. Not that he can be king anymore, what with you killing all his subjects and mangling his hands.

Eitri here can tell us more about the real you in ten minutes than you can in your entire effing screentime. Just listen to him talk to Thor.

“Three hundred Dwarves lived on this ring. I thought if I did what he asked, they’d be safe. I made what he wanted: a device capable of harnessing the power of the stones. And he killed everyone anyway. All except me. ‘Your life is yours’, he said. 'But your hands… Your hands are mine alone.’ ”

There were three hundred Dwarves on Nidavellir. After you left, only one remains. If you even had an inkling of determination to follow your plan, you would have left 150 of them alive, but you didn’t. Maybe you think 300÷2=1, in which case you need to get some basic fucking math education. Or maybe you were scared that they would make another weapon, one that could (gasp) even kill you! Because why wouldn’t they want to kill you when you finish slaughtering half of them? Then you ruined Eitri’s hands so even he couldn’t build another mighty weapon. Because you were scared of them. You were scared of their retribution.

Oh, and another thing. Look behind Eitri. Notice how it’s completely dark? That’s because you extinguished the Forge - the instrument of the Dwarves’ work and pretty much the reason of their existence - just so you could be sure nobody could ever wield a weapon as mighty as yours and challenge you.

This is why you are the greatest betrayer of your own plan, Thanos. You went against your own ideals the moment you killed the 151th Dwarf. Not only did you kill much more than half of the Dwarves, you destroyed their way of life and ensured that they would never thrive again. I’ve mentioned earlier that you lied to your stepdaughter about her home planet, but you also lied to yourself. Your 'plan’ was never a real thing, just a mask to hide your true intentions of becoming the most powerful being in the universe. You see yourself as a revolutionary, but you’re not even close to being one. You’re a maniac. That’s all you are: a genocidal maniac, and nothing more.

gonna start listing off streams that i refuse to believe actually happened/weren’t complete and utter fever dreams:

that one irl stream where tommy and tubbo had random people try and catch them in a park in the middle of nottingham and they found one pretty bloke and a bunch of stoners

when tommy played among us with the sidemen, wilbur and tubbo, for a video, didn’t tell them he was streaming the entire time, spent the entire time defending philza minecraft’s honour, got KSI to tweet something along the lines of “philza suck ya mum”, to which phil responded by saying his name sounded like an STD, before ending stream and raiding phil, who had been quite peacefully draining an ocean monument the whole time, and completely derailing his stream

that one irl stream fundy did where he just woke up in a forest, practiced archery, attempted to make a pizza from scratch without most of the key ingredients, called phil for help and ended because phil accidentally came up with a ghost story that bore striking resemblance to something that actually happened in the forest and all parties were scared out of their minds

the SBI monopoly stream. i will go to my grave not knowing whether the whole bit with wilbur’s office’s firewall was staged or not, but i choose to believe it wasn’t for the sake of my own enjoyment. the stream just kept escalating as they went through the steam library.

that one ranboo stream where him and tubbo were helping phil hollow out the basement, and phil and tubbo spent a good hour trying to get ranboo to order delivery. people gifted hundreds of subs to ranboo anonymously in an attempt to hit a subgoal which ranboo kept shifting in order to avoid doing it, 500 of which may or may not have come from tubbo himself

connor’s house party on the dsmp. i watched this entire thing live from multiple perspectives and i could not tell you what the fuck was occurring. also the fact that this was like the 3rd most recent time schlatt’s played on the smp feels illegal

irl drunkcast. the costumes, the alcohol, the everything. this stream was a blessing and most of the people involved probably have very little memory of it

feel free to add on, these are just a few that stuck out to me

hate mfs that believe theres only one version of greek mythology tales. they were all passed down by mouth for years before they were written down and u believe theres only one “real” version of them??