I Am Too In Love With Life, I Don't Want To Die (i Cannot Fathom The Absence Of Living)

Every so often I think about how screwed up the mental health care system is because it took me so long to find a therapist that I stopped being suicidal because I therapized myself (I talked to myself in my own head until it worked) months before I got an actual meeting.

the two most horribile people you know deserve each other.

tumblr user @/inkskinned / i want you to know that i'm awake/i hope that you're asleep, car seat headrest / familiarity breeds contempt, google / no children, the mountain goats / tumblr user @/willowcrowned

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace”

— Oscar Wilde (The Canterville Ghost)

catastrophiccosmic on tiktok // pinterest // in praise of defeat by abdellatif laâbi // pinterest // writing prompts for the broken hearted by eden robinson // fleabag // romeo and juliet by richard brautigan // vincent van gogh

I made addy a mechanic/super interested in taking things apart in my Addy-Lives au and I’m regretting it so much. Like I actually have to do mechanical things and explain stuff???? Wdym I have to figure out what Tyler’s anchor thingys are called and how exactly they need to be improved bc I love making snarky siblings

Somebody help pls, I don’t know what’s happening

How To Become a Myth

- Nikita Gill

1.

Fly into the sun, defy anyone who tells you that you cannot love Him.

The ocean will break your fall. even if it is by drowning you.

(You knew he would burn you, Icarus you simply thought he was worth the risk)

2.

Get stolen by a God away from the meadows you once knew, wood nymph.

Become Queen of the Underworld. Turn the land of the dead into home.

(You knew didn’t you, Kore? How to survive you would become Persephone?)

3.

Turn yourself into an echo of the person you used to be, then fall in love with him.

And when he doesn’t notice you Instead falls in love with himself, pine away.

(Narcissus could never love you, dear Echo. Not the way he loved himself.)

4.

Become an indestructible monster. Become the thing that warriors speak of in hushed breaths in terror.

When you finally do die at someone’s hands make sure it is glorious.

(Theseus was the only end worthy of you, Minotaur.)

5.

When the Sea God assaults you, turn people into stone. Turn Gods into stone.

Turn anything that threatens you ever again into stone.

(Medusa, Athena turned you monster to protect you. She took your beauty to give you power.)

6.

Adore her so much that the world grieves with your broken heart’s song.

Almost save her from the Underworld. Almost.

(Orpheus, all you had to do was not turn to look at her.)

7.

Marry a God King.

Watch him betray you over and over again. Become bitter and cruel.

Recognise he will never respect you. Promise to make him suffer till he does.

(Hera, I know why you couldn’t leave him, it was all for love, it was all for love)

8.

Become an undefeated warrior in a war where you lose everything you love.

Even the one you love most of all. Don’t realise it. Keep fighting.

(Achilles, Patroclus’ love would have made you immortal anyway.)

9.

Be unhappy in your marriage. Find a dangerous Prince who promises you a real love.

Run away with him

Do not think of the consequences.

(Helen, you didn’t just launch a thousand ships you set kingdoms ablaze.)

10.

Destroy everyone you love in a murderous rage.

Go on a journey hoping it will kill you

(Hercules tell the truth, you hoped those tasks would be your destruction didn’t you?)

Addendum:

Don’t become a myth. Stay human.

Stay mortal.

It is less wounds.

I promise. It is less wounds.

in the darkness, two shadows,

reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. their hands meet.

love letter to fanny brawne, john keats // orestes, euripides // wait for me (intro) ("hey, the big artiste"), hadestown // ghost photographs - doug and brenda, angela deane // les misérables, victor hugo // achilles come down, gang of youths // how to become a myth, nikita gill // romeo and juliet, shakespeare // lovers of valdaro // song of achilles, madeline miller // i will follow you into the dark, deathcab for cutie // planet of love, richard siken

on getting better

?// ?// call your mom, noah kahan// letters to friends, family and editors, franz kafka// call your mom, noah kahan// september affirmation (Don’t Be Afraid), Keaton St. James (@boykeats) // @smuktvejr // ?// ?// 'east boston, 1996; night walk' in god's silence, franz wright// ending, jonny bolduc// listen, tara bray// the haunting of hill house, shirley jackson// little red cap, carol ann duffy// @daisies-on-a-cup// evermore, taylor swift// @angelwarm// long story short, taylor swift

me waking up:

wow i can’t wait to go to sleep tonight