Why Are We Here?

soulmate september / day eighteen: what a bunch of a-holes

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Day Eighteen: Your soulmates first impression/thoughts about you are written somewhere on your body.

Summary: “What an asshole”. Virgil’s absolutely terrified about these words, and he tries to be kind to people, but it’s so difficult sometimes. Janus just thinks that everyone is an asshole.

Ship: Anxceit (Virgil x Janus)

word count: 520

CW: Janus is nonbinary and uses xe/xem pronouns

TW: anxious thoughts. brief familial moxiety. mentions of butts (…and yet Remus is not in this one?). seriously, the word “asshole” is written here at least 10 times.

@tsshipmonth2020

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A Slimy Boi (Part 2)

Part 1

“Logan? Did you hear anything I just said?”

The sound of Pattons voice broke through Logans thoughts and he blinked in surprise as he found Patton hovering in front of him.

“I… Yes I did.” he answered, racking his brain to try and work out what he’d said.

Patton eyed Logan with a small frown, suspecting Logan was lying which was an unusual occurance.

“Logan you’ve been very distracted for the past couple of days and it’s getting concerning. What’s on your mind and is so important that you completely forget you’re talking to someone?” Patton asked, worry in his eyes.

Logan was just about capable of fighting down a blush. There was no way he was going to tell anyone what he was thinking about.

“It’s of no concern to you.” he replied and walked towards his room, shutting the door behind him with a sigh.

He hadn’t been able to get what had happened a few days ago out of his mind. He’d tried everything to try and forget it but when he came close to forgetting He would pop up and give Logan that infuriating little smirk.

Deceit would find excuses to appear, walking past in the corridor or popping up in the kitchen with the excuse of getting some water.

Logan knew he was doing it on purpose. Deceit was exploiting his need to know everything and Logan was starting to feel like he had only one option.

Logan checked the time and was shocked to see he’d been pacing in his room for 3 hours. It was 2am and the others were more than likely already asleep.

Logan didn’t feel at all tired and his thoughts were too busy for him to even try going to sleep so he decided to venture out into the kitchen for some Crofters to help clear his thoughts.

He was just putting a second spoonful into his mouth when he heard a familiar voice behind him and turned around, the spoon sticking out of his mouth still.

“Is someone sneaking some Crofters? Did good old Patt Patt ban you again?” Deciet asked, a sly grin on his face.

Logan shook his head and pulled the spoon out of his mouth to respond. “I merely needed to clear my thoughts, not that I’m having much success.”

Deciet raised an eyebrow and took a step forward. “Whatever could be on your mind? It must be something fairly important to effect you so much.” he said in an innocent tone that didn’t fool Logan one bit.

“You know exactly what’s been on my mind.” the logical trait growled in annoyance but his eyes kept flicking to Deceits lips with thinly veiled curiosity.

“do I? Silly me I think I might have forgotten, care to enlighten me?” Deciet said taking another step forward, relishing the way Logan swallowed nervously and his breathing quickened.

“I… Uh… You’re lying.” he stuttered and Deciet let out a small chuckle.

“Logan, honey, its what I do. Surely you should know that by now?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond but Deceit had taken another step forward so there was very little distance between them now and Logan seemed to lose the ability to speak.

“You want to know if my tongues forked, don’t you?” Deciet asked in a quiet voice and Logan shook his head.

Deceit let out another chuckle and leant forward to whisper in Logans ear. “Are you sure about that?”

Logan shivered at the sensation of Deceits breath against his ear and shook his head again.

Deciet pulled back with a smirk. “Let’s get things straight, well as straight as they can be considering what we’re discussing. You’re not sure if you want to know about my tongue or not, is that correct?”

Logan nodded and Deceit leant in closer and murmured “Maybe this whole thing is just a ploy because you want to kiss me.”

Logans face went almost as red as the Crofters he’d just been eating and Deceit grinned.

“I…. It’s purely for s… Scientific p… Purposes.” Logan spluttered before closing the gap and connecting their lips.

Deceit immediately responded, one hand going to the back of Logans head while the other rested on the small of his back, pulling him in closer.

Logan gasped as he was pulled closer and Deceit took the opportunity to slip his non forked tongue into Logans mouth.

Logan barely registered that Deceit didn’t have a forked tongue as his mind was assaulted with a ton of different thoughts about what was happening.

Deceit eventually pulled away, panting slightly and looking at Logan to see his reaction.

Logan was also panting and his eyes locked with Deciets as he managed to breathe out “Not… Forked….”

Deciet flashed him a grin. “that was one test, maybe you should conduct another one just in case you were wrong.”

Logan froze and eyed Deceit in shock before replying “T… Two tests are h…. Hardly reliable.”

“how many would you suggest then?” Deciet asked, ghosting his lips across Logans, pleased with how he could make the usually composed trait get so flustered.

“As many as possible.” Logan managed to get out and Deceit pulled him in for another kiss.

They stood there in the middle of the kitchen like that for a few minutes before Logan pulled away, having had a thought. “V…Virgil is probably still awake, he could walk in at any second.”

Deciet smirked and blinked innocently at Logan as he said “Why Logan are you asking me to come back to your room? You need to at least buy me dinner first.”

Logan almost choked on his own tongue at that and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant!” he exclaimed.

Deceit laughed “I know, I just wanted to see your reaction. Now Let’s get out of the kitchen before Racoon boy walks in.”

Logan shook his head at Deceits nickname for Virgil and followed him out of the kitchen unsure if he should be concerned that Deceit knew where his bedroom was.

“Oh don’t give me that look, I only know this is your room because the others personalised their doors. Yours is the only plain one so it’s kind of easy to tell which is which.” Deceit said in response to Logans confused and concerned expression.

Logan couldn’t fault him for that logic so he followed Deceit into his bedroom and shut the door behind them both.

Deceit sat on the bed with a small smirk as he looked around. “I was expecting more nerdy posters but other than that it’s exactly as I imagined.”

Logan sat on the bed, unsure how to respond to Deceits words but found he didn’t need to because Deceit turned to him with a mischievous smile.

“Now, enough of that. Where were we?”

Tags:

@amethystdarkwolf @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @patchworkofstars

(if you want to be tagged in future stuff let me know :P)

what if we did gay eyes at each other in the food court,,, and we were both boys,,, haha jk,, unless? 😳😳😳

SKIRT PATTON SKIRT PATTON SKIRT PATTON-🥺💙😭💖🥺💜💙😍

(@thatsthat24 )

🚫DON'T REPOST MY ART WITHOUT PERMISSION/CREDIT🚫

Bored (Part 4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Virgil sat in his room with a massive frown on his face as he stared at his phone.

He’d been switching between multiple sites and apps for the past hour and yet nothing interested him.

He was bored out of his mind yet again but he couldn’t go to any of the other sides due to all the trouble he’d caused over the previous couple of weeks.

Well, there was one side he could go to but he absolutely refused to do so.

He couldn’t think of a time where an interaction between them hadn’t lead to an argument of some sort.

Virgil remained of that opinion for another 20 minutes before he let out a frustrated groan and left his room in search of Deceit.

As he came to a stop outside of Deceits room Virgil hesitated unsure if he was actually going through with it but, seeing as his alternative was going back to his room and suffering through the boredom for hours, he eventually knocked.

“Who is it?” the familiar voice asked and Virgil grimaced as he said “It’s me Virgil and I’m bored as hell.”

There was the sound of an annoyed groan and the door was cracked open just enough that a small sliver of Deceits face was visible. “I thought you said you’d never come to me for your boredom?”

Virgil huffed “Well obviously that’s not true because here I am.”

Deceit sighed and shut his eyes for a few seconds before opening them and looking at Virgil with a serious expression. “If I let you in you have to be quiet, no sudden loud noises or anything. OK?”

Virgil frowned in confusion. “What? Why?”

“look are you gonna stay quiet or not?”

“OK, OK, jeez keep your scales on.”

Deceit opened the door wider, revealing a very unamused expression. “Just come in.”

Virgil stepped into the room and immediate figured out why Deceit had asked him to be quiet.

“Since when did you have pet snakes?” Virgil said in a low voice as he looked around at the many tanks and odd treelike perches where many types of snakes were draped, lazing around in the almost uncomfortably warm room.

Deceit smirked. “Since always although I do admit my collection has grown since moving to the main mindspace.”

Virgil took a careful seat on Deceits computer chair, looking around at the snakes and trying not to fidget uncomfortably as he felt himself starting to sweat due to the high temperature.

“You ok there Virgey?” Deceit asked smugly, knowing exactly what was bothering him.

“yeah I’m fine and stop calling me that!” Virgil said in an annoyed tone.

“You know you’d probably feel better if you took your hoodie off.” Deceit said, turning to gently stroke one of his pet snakes.

Virgil looked at Deceit with a raised eyebrow until he turned back a round and noticed.

“What’s that look for?”

“You’re asking me to take my hoodie off? You do know who I am right? Asking me to take my hoodie off is like if I asked you to take your gloves off.” Virgil said in a scathing tone.

Deceit winced slightly at the mention of his gloves but sighed. “OK fine, don’t take the hoodie off then. But if you overheat and pass out I’m telling Patton it was your own fault.”

Virgil shrugged “That seems fair.”

Deceit shook his head and took a seat on his bed where a medium sized boa constrictor was curled up.

Virgil watched slightly fascinated as the boa slowly began to slither over to Deceit and wrap itself round his waist like some sort of odd belt.

Deceit caught sight of him staring and grinned. “She does this all the time, she’s rather clingy.”

Virgil nodded and opened his mouth to ask something when he felt something on the back of the chair and froze.

Deceit frowned in confusion at the expression on Virgils face before snorting with laughter as he realised why he’d frozen.

“S.. Sorry its just…. That’s another reason I thought it’d be better for you to take your hoodie off…” Deceits words were broken up by chuckles which he at least attempted to hold back.

Behind Virgil was a ball python that was in the process of climbing into his hood and curling up into a ball.

“it… It’s not venomous is it?” Virgil asked, not knowing what kind of snake had climbed into his hood.

“Nah, none of the snakes are really venomous apart from Nagini and Basil. They tend to prefer lazing in the warm spots though while some of the others like draping themselves over people, like Pretzel who I think is falling asleep in your hood.” Deceit had a relaxed expression as he spoke and Virgil snorted slightly at the names.

“You called one of your snakes Nagini?”

Deceit frowned slightly “Of course, it was an appropriate name for her. She’s huge, venomous and highly intelligent.”

Virgil gulped and scanned the room for the snake in question only to freeze as he met the eye of a huge black mamba who was watching him carefully from the highest branch.

“Ah, yes that’s Basil. He likes to watch everything and any new things are watched very carefully which is why he’s staring at you like that. I can’t seem to see Nagini for some reason though.” Deceit said scanning the top branches carefully, frowning slightly in confusion.

The snake around Deceits waist suddenly let out a hiss that made Virgil jump but what really shocked him was when Deceit hissed back.

Deceit glanced up seeing Virgils expression and explained. “I wouldn’t have so many snakes if I couldn’t communicate with them. To have so many would be a disaster because they’d end up eating each other but because I can communicate with them they know they’ll get fed regularly enough and there’s no need to fight over territory because I’ll give them plenty of space.”

Virgil nodded, he guessed that made sense.

Deceit hissed back to the snake around his waist before a shocked expression passed over his face and he looked at Virgil with wide eyes. “Sage has informed me of where Nagini is… Um…”

Virgil turned his head and froze as he came face to face with a king cobra.

The cobra flicked its tongue out and draped itself over the arm of the chair and incidentally Virgils arm.

It was taking all of his control not to scream as he realised this must have been the snake called Nagini.

She was slithering slowly onto his lap where she raised up and looked him right in the eyes.

Virgil whimpered as the snake moved its head closer to his face and Deceit started hissing.

The cobra paused, hissed back, leant closer and flicked its tongue across Virgils cheek before lowering itself down and curling up in his lap.

“I… I guess she’s taken a liking to you.” Deceit said in mild surprise and only received a frightened squeak from Virgil.

The snake seemed to doze of quite quickly in his lap and Virgil found himself stuck.

There was a knock at the door and Deceit got to his feet, gently prying the snake around his waist off so he could answer it.

“Hey Logan, what did you want?”

“I was wondering if you’d seen Virgil, no one knows where he is and he isn’t in his room.” Logans voice was full of concern.

Deceit chuckled “Yes actually, he got bored again and came to me rather reluctantly.”

“Oh, well in that case I’ll go tell the others so they’ll stop worrying.” Logan said quickly and walked off rather hurriedly.

Deceit snorted and closed the door, sending Virgil a grin. “He’s very cautious of you when you’re bored now.”

Virgil attempted a smirk but it didn’t last as yet another snake began to slither its way up the chair.

Deceit raised an eyebrow as several snakes began hissing and rolled his eyes with a small laugh.

“Apparently they’ve all adopted you.”

Virgil looked at Deceit with an incredulous expression which morphed into one of panic when several snakes began to drape themselves over him.

Deceit took a couple steps forward and attempted to remove some of the snakes but before he could do more than pick one up, Nagini woke up and began hissing.

She rose up, hood flared and teeth bared as she hissed at the surrounding serpents who fled immediately.

Deceits eyes widened at some of the things he could understand her to be saying and shook his head in disbelief.

“You’re hers. She’s claimed you and just told the others that they’re not to harm or frighten you or she’ll eat them.”

Virgil wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or more terrified at that knowledge. He decided on terrified as Nagini began to climb up onto his shoulders and drape herself around his neck like some sort of living scarf.

“H…help.” Virgil squeaked, his wide eyes locked onto Deceit who was just watching, amusement playing across his face at Virgils clear discomfort.

Eventually he seemed to take pity on Virgil as he clicked his fingers and said “You can understand what they’re saying now so hopefully you won’t be so scared of them.”

“He is my glorified heat lamp and if you dare come near him I will eat you alive.” A harsh hissing voice said near Virgils ear, making Deceit snort in a rather undignified manner.

Virgil was shocked at the words he could now understand but felt oddly pleased that Nagini had become so defensive and possessive of him in such a short space of time.

“Do they also understand me or is it a one way thing?” Virgil asked, his voice trembling less.

“It’s a two way thing.” Deceit replied, absentmindedly stroking the head of a snake that had decided it wanted attention.

“Thank you for telling them to back off.” Virgil said quietly to Nagini who was still draped around his neck.

“No problem, warmth giver, Although it is hardly surprising so many want to be near you. You are incredibly warm, much warmer than he is anyway.”

Nagini flicked her tail to gesture at Deceit who gave her an unimpressed expression.

“Hey, that’s not fair and you know it. I’m part snake myself so I’m obviously not as warm as some of the others.”

Virgil jumped slightly as a smooth male voice suddenly spoke up from high above him.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, you seem to get very warm when a certain trait comes to visit. Blushing I think the humans call it.”

“hush your fangs right now Basil!” Deceit hissed at the black mamba, eyes wide in horror and flicking to Virgil constantly, hoping he didn’t pick up on that.

“Which trait is it?” Virgil asked, grinning as he spotted Deceits alarmed expression.

“The loud energetic one, Remus I think his name is.” Nagini answered, a soft hissing laugh leaving her mouth as Deceit shrieked her name in betrayal.

“ok, alright, that’s enough of that. Time to go now, bye Virgil, sorry you couldn’t stay or anything but what can you do really.” Deceit suddenly exclaimed, clicking his fingers so Virgil could no longer hear what the various snakes were saying, although if the steadily growing blush on Deceits face was any indication then Virgil was sure it was to do with his apparent crush on Remus.

“Remus huh?” Virgil asked slyly, stifling a laugh when Deceit grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to the door, gently plucking Nagini from around his neck.

“Bye Virgil, looks like you’ll have to deal with being bored all by yourself now” The blushing trait said and Virgil was pushed out of the room and the door was slammed shut behind him.

“What the actual fuck guys?!” He heard a voice shout from the other side of the closed door and muffled his laugh with a sleeve.

The good thing was, he no longer felt bored, he had something to consider now and even though it was highly unlikely he would be allowed back in Deceits room he tried to think of some sort of reward for the snakes for the information he now had.

Tag List beneath the cut:

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Palette Sides!!

may I hold tiny Picani and Virgil? pleaseeeee? ~Aluri

Virgil doesn't want to be held at the moment. Please tell virgil to not rip out the page of this sketch

Bruised Ego

Thomas’ ego takes a few too many blows.  Janus helps.

A long-overdue writer/artist collab between myself and the incredible @caffeinated-cryptid!  Find their original post here, and this fic’s companion piece here.

Word count: 1.6k

tws for injury, blood, severe bruising, and physical pain

read on AO3  Buy me a ko-fi!

___________________________

Roman typically liked color.

The purple and blues of his best friends, the green of his brother, the yellow of his… of Janus, his own glowing, vibrant red – Roman liked color.

At least, when it wasn’t splashed across his skin.

“I told you not to read the comments section,” Janus clucks, lifting Roman’s chin with one gloved hand and frowning at the marks on his neck, “and what do you do?”

“Checked for accolades from my dearest fans?”  Roman flashes a grin, wincing when it pulls at the cut on his lip, breaking open once more.

“Let’s go with your story,” the snake says, dryly, snapping open a first aid kit.  “Oh, and please stay standing.  It’s so much more convenient to check up on you when you look like you’ll pass out at any second.”

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HOLD UP

KARROT KING?

AS IN CARROTS ARE ORANGE???

DUKE, PRINCE, KING??

GUYS WHY ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS??

Janus

fun fact for those who don’t know this but when a snake (or just about anything) is born with two heads like that, it is indeed called a janus, thus this would be called a janus snake. snakes are far more likely to be born with two heads than any other species, iirc