I Do Not.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, the new album from Taylor Swift. Listen Now On Spotify 

So many intrusive thoughts.

But I have to say this about Elsa because I feel like people really don't realize this, but her lack of control was COMPLETELY a mindset thing. It was COMPLETELY an anxiety thing.

I understand a lot of people see her powers as metaphor for autism/being queer/mental illness and all sorts of things. ALL VALID.

Buuuuuuut I have a special connection with her magic because the way her magic functioned when she couldn't control it was incredibly similar to the way my mental illness functioned. I had really chronic intrusive thoughts as a kid that were so bad, I had to get on medication for them. Still on those meds to this day.

I am going to talk about the cycle of fear with her magic.

The way the intrusive thoughts worked for me was a cycle.

Intrusive thought -> Fear I am dangerous -> Push thought down -> Thought grows more intense -> Combined Fear/Resistance creates push for impulse/compulsion -> Fear of being dangerous grows -> Thought grows more intense and harder to control -> Fear turns to anxiety -> Self-loathing -> Growing belief that I am a monster

For those who aren't educated on this, I never hurt anybody or myself. This isn't sadism, psychopathy, or anything that could turn into a violent disorder. This is a form of OCD called harm-OCD and the reason this particular form of OCD is so intense is because the compulsion to release the anxiety/fear/intensity of the intrusive thought is to act on it. Which people with this disorder FLAT OUT REFUSE to do. But if you have OCD, you know how hard it is to resist the urge for the compulsion... but with this version, YOU HAVE TO. On average, people with this disorder are harmless and are in pain because they just want to be a good person.

It's also a very good metaphor for how Elsa's powers function when she was afraid. Because the key here is that the more you resist, the more powerful it becomes.

Elsa has magic -> Elsa accidentally hurts Anna -> Anna almost dies -> Fear will be your enemy -> Elsa fears fear itself -> trauma-induced symptoms develop from her sister almost dying/parent's panic/hurting somebody else sets in -> Anxiety forms around the fear of hurting others -> Mental illness impacts her way of thinking -> Self-belief she cannot control herself becomes a complex -> Magic "misbehaves" -> Elsa gets scared/represses as a form of control -> Magic intensifies -> Elsa grows more scared -> Magic intensifies

There is a difference in the development of my own problem vs Elsa's problem, but the point is we both have this "dangerous" force inside of us we cannot control, that is only worsened by fear.

The comparison continues on, also, in how to handle these "dangerous forces" (outside of medication). The way to handle them is both with love. In Elsa's case, she had to let in love in, Period. Isolation was the worst possible strategy for her when she was a kid. She needed people to believe in her, not fear her. This I can attest to because my parents didn't understand what was going on with me either, and one parent in particular was afraid of me.

In Elsa's case, it was about trusting herself. Love brings trust. And it functioned the same as intrusive thoughts because just like her magic, trusting yourself is key for the thought to pass.

In my case, one thing you can do is sit with the thought. Give it the space it needs. Do not resist. Because I am not violent and just because my thoughts are violent does not mean I am. It is that innate trust that can be built if you apply this strategy to intrusive thoughts because it is resistance that gives it it's power.

Self-trust and external love and support is a big part of what can help both of these examples to go in a positive direction. As a result, Elsa's magic - or my thoughts - can finally flow easily without any fear of hurting anyone.

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

to the madrigalcest people of the fandom :

sincerely,

jinx

“she’s surviving thunderbolts!” me and the four other antonia dreykov fans scream as we are dragged away to the padded room

Friendly reminder to listen VERY VERY CRITICALLY if someone tries to convince you not to register for federal disaster assistance following a declared disaster. Helene is still moving north and I see the usual rants picking up steam already.

That person trying to win social commentary points online is not your friend. That person can’t give you funds for house repair or to restock on food and meds. And if they say they can - that is a scammer and not someone you can trust.

Scammers and developers trying to take advantage after a disaster intentionally spread rumors/misinformation to convince survivors not to apply for federal disaster assistance. Many well meaning people pick this misinformation up and spread it further without understanding how the assistance process works. It’s happened more and more over the years and it will happen with Helene.

If you do not apply for assistance, you lose the chance to receive federal funds. APPLY APPLY APPLY. This doesn’t guarantee you will meet eligibility requirements, but you definitely can’t meet them if you don’t apply. The application process isn’t perfect but it continues to be updated - and was updated in 2024!! - to try and make it easier for survivors. If you have damages or lost power for an extended time, APPLY.

You can check on FEMA.gov or with local news to see when disaster recovery centers will open, how long the application period will last, and what information you’ll need when applying.

History will call them friends

If you claim to be protesting for "human rights"

But you shout for intifada

But you cheer for Oct 7th

But you were silent about

Shiri - a mother

Kfir - an infant

Ariel - a toddler

Oded - a peace activist

Shlomo - a Farhud survivor

And all the others who were taken and murdered

Then it's clear

Your definition of "human"

Does not include Jews

If you want to be an ally to the Jewish people, you’d better be ready to fight the antisemitism faced by all Jews.

Zionist Jews. Anti- and non-Zionist Jews. Observant Jews. Secular Jews. Israeli Jews. Ashkenazi Jews. Sephardic Jews. Mizrahi Jews. Beta Israeli Jews. Desi Jews. Convert Jews. White-passing Jews. Jews of color. Visibly-Jewish Jews. Queer Jews. Left-wing Jews. Right-wing Jews. Patrilineal Jews.

We are one people, and if you only fight antisemitism when it targets the Jews you like, you’re not actually an ally of the Jewish people.

This is Amal and her family. My children are living under bombardment in the war 😭 Please consider them your children and help them 🙏🙏 Stand by my side to save and protect my children. They haven't gone to school for a year 🙏😢😢 Donate to save my children's lives 🍉 🙏🇵🇸 We live in very difficult and desperate circumstances, and what is worst of all is that the fear that haunts me increases day by day. Help me provide them with basic life needs. @gazavetters is verified, my verified number in the list is (#55)

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