Can’t Imagine How Allen’s Conversation With The Bookman Clan Is Going To Go Upon Waking Up. They’re

*actively attempting murder*: his compassionate nature and aura of tragedy have captivated me

gotta be infuriating to be one of the people involved in the plotting/secrets of the Holy War in dgm.

you picked random guy one to be the Guy Who Dies (he even agreed!) and he’s just… so hard to kill. Everything that you’ve done to kill him has backfired and he’s harder to kill now.

your choice to use him as your memory vessel extended his life temporarily. that other guy’s attempt at killing for this decision failed miserably, now he has a weapon and is years younger. the weapon is no longer responding to commands and won’t kill him. yet another person tries to kill him, but because he’s a kid now, he feels bad and spares him. you feel bad when you try to kill him, even after he’s grown up a bit—he’s just so nice!

when he tries to die on his own, he’s super durable.

now you’re just waiting him out, but he’s making everything so difficult. you think you’re getting somewhere, and then he comes back, clinging to life and sanity by the skin of his teeth.

he’s dying at a rapid, unstoppable rate and he’s unkillable.

not doomed by the narrative, not saved by the narrative, but a secret third thing: employed by the narrative

just started a Xena binge, and every time she launches herself onto Argo, my first though is “ouch”

I enjoy this so very much because I’ve already been making jokes that Allen is somehow his own father in such a convoluted way.

Like his adoptive father is Mana, whose brother is Nea. Nea is possessing Allen, thus inhabiting the same body and making it not only his, but also his uncles body; you might think this is where it ends. But Mana and Nea are two halves of the same individual. So Allen is possessed by half of his adoptive father’s soul. Thus he is his own father.

If I integrate this new, fresh theory, I can now joke that Allen is both his own biological and adoptive father.

If past!Allen and past!Lavi got orbed to make Allen, does that make them Allen's biological parents? Since Bookman is past!Lavi's father, does that make him Allen's grandfather?

Allen, on the verge of death again: I’m tired of this Crowned Clown

Crowned Clown: That’s too damn bad! You keep going!

with the knowledge that innocence is an parasitic entity that basically eats misery, I want someone to know that I think of Crowned Clown refusing to let Allen be killed/die or be separated as a kid throwing a tantrum because someone took away their candy.

like Apocryphos is desperately trying to get this piece of candy away because “it’s not good for you!” and Crowned Crown is kicking screaming crying about losing this food.

Allen: The enemy of my enemy is my friend? No, the enemy of my enemy is also my enemy.

Allen: They are fighting over who gets to kill me, though. So it does give me time to escape.

demon underling: we found out who’s been raiding the territory! It’s polyamorous Lou Binghe.

demon canon fodder: that little fuck! I want him dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife de— *repeats ad nauseum*

I know we all make fun of Cale for sabotaging his own slacker life, but honestly given his life experiences, it kind of makes sense.

Beyond the obvious fact that he’s a good person who’s going to help where help is needed, it was also his responsibility to do so for around a decade.

Like, I’m pretty sure one of the reasons he gives for why he needs to do all this is because conflict would inevitably reach his doorstep and cause issues for him. In the shelter before he joins team 1, he wasn’t actively involved in the fighting… then the fighting came to him, destroying the shelter with massive amounts of casualties.

And unless I’m misremembering the side chapter, he did try to take a day off as team leader krs (for cjs and lsh’s death anniversary)—and then the company called him in to deal with a crisis.

So his life experiences do kind of align with the “I have to fix everything before I can have a day off” mentality