What’s Meant For Me Will Come Out Of You

you should know by now what a liar i can be, with two fingers crossed and whispering to you goodnight and sweet dreams, while i resist sleep in favor of picturing what tomorrow's abrupt entrance may bring—

what strength the dusty wind will blow with, what color of light the radiant sun will shine, what striking songs the birds will choose to sing,

or whether this heaviness will still weigh my life's sins on my heart and my mind,

and, maybe, what words from you will greet, from behind a waking veil, these still-sleepy morn eyes;

things don't have to make sense,

these layers of batter and words

bake warmly in my oven-like mind:

the place that nobody else can pry open.

my innocent deviation configured beneath lonely lampposts

and desert gold mines

things don't have to make sense to be blessed with them,

obsessed with them

I just try to take my mind off of

anything as far as my eyes can see

and submerse in literal fiction, transverse these monotone layers I wished upon and failed in. Live in this dreamscape. Live through the soft ache

-s's.

Because I only talk to myself,

and tap on my own shoulder

fleeing a hell that's been getting colder

since I tried on all of my new thoughts

-s’s.

just take me, then

take me, then

Don’t ask me when

And all I wanted,

Was the dime of a dozen

Fully brazen, fire in the making

Truly, all I wanted was

Something awaiting

me

I don't know why, but

at least it comes in time

the bittersweet feeling of your feet walking away at dawn

picked it as a muse,

When you used to talk about art

And what it made you want to do

-s’s.

Letting you go I have to do what I loathe I would never And Though you come around, Why would you ever take us down?

-s’s.

for the past three days there was

no beat or no pulse

even in the ringing of bells, no melody buzzes

wet droplets of rain accumulate on the window pane

willful stillness, a shot of the past that nobody could claim

I have a lot of ingenuity

I have a lot of questions between alternating waves of seawater and poison

I have become swept up under a darling cove

And darkness awoke, something I know

-s’s.

de Dreamland (a soft war)

am I so soft and alone as they say that I am, in dreamland?

dream of an ugly diary, destined for the bin

seemed like a pretty thing, a life less full of sin

living in the outskirts of a fantasy

I got lucky

I never ask, I only have to dream

It's so hard, don't you believe me

I got lucky,

believe me

I am not gonna go back, sociopath

I have a chance, I have a chance, I have to dance,

I need it more than I could explain

living in the outskirts of a fantasy