Omg Dazai Showing Raw Human Emotion????

🐋

we're all rooting for you / a version of you that doesn't exist

Thinking about the seemingly inconsequential parallels between Dazai and Chuuya from when they were younger to now. Chuuya always used to fight with his hands in his pockets while Dazai had a coat over his shoulders. And now Dazai fights with his hands in his pockets while Chuuya has a coat over his shoulders.

Chuuya fought with his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't lose control of his ability and humanity by proxy, and I wonder if Dazai does the same now as a symbol because he doesn't want to lose control of what he's worked toward. How Chuuya used to revile his hands, now Dazai reviles his own because of the reminder of blood spilled and people killed and to not take two steps back to that dark place.

But it could also be something simpler—their habits just rubbed off on each other that much. And the fact that they copy each other and either don't realize they're subconsciously doing it or maybe they have brought it up, makes me feral.

In proper terms, Chuuya is Rei and Asuka-coded, but Dazai is so painfully Kaworu-coded that I had to do this.

last summer

kind of obsessed with the bsd anime's lore of people having highly personalized little cartoon characters for their phone contacts