Reblog This If You Slept With My Ex-wife Susan.

Well excuse me, I didn't think you'd appreciate hauling bags of bait and a pole into the middle of a freezing river for hours on end.  My apologies, angel-fish.

yeah, SURE you knew.  SURE you did. 

but now that you mention it, going without me was a dick move.  is it because you don’t think i’d look sexy in waders?  i’ll have you know that my ass looks fantastic when covered in loose-fitting rubber. 

// u kno what’s cool?  messages about threads u like instead of rebloggin those threads bc it messes up my reblog counter

I have responsibilities like self torment and isolation

Which head or yours is doing the thinking right now?  The big one or the little one?

Try again.

You don’t.

Your standards were set when you displayed Randall as you did.

I’m not your standard, I’m your goal.

Lust burns inside you, I can hear it soaking your words.

“So...me in general, then.”

“Are you asking me if I’m objectifying you? I’m not. Your whole is greater than the sum of your parts. Not that your parts don’t each have their merit… I’m sure.”

-laughs- "Bit off a little more than you could chew?"

-whistles- “Yeah, that is pretty bad. Christ, who did that number on you?”

repost since i realized that no one has been able to see my posts in the wild… here’s god strongest soldier and wettest dog

drhanniballecter:

runsonfear:

drhanniballecter:

“Yo.”

Hannibal swagged his way over to his office door, made agape by one unfortunate visitor.

He was just in the middle of cookin up another crime scene, so whoever it was at the door was in a shitload of trouble.

“You dun goofed, mate.” Hannibal growled dangerously.

“No you.” Will was hip to all the happenings up in here.  He’d figured it out with his empathy or whatever.

“The jig is up, fam, I’m knowin on your game.”

“Listen, Sweaty” Hannibal smiled condescendingly. He wasn’t about to let some basic hoe step in up on his shit. He knew how to handle this tight sitch with some choice shade.

“You may think you’re playing the game, son,” hannibal started, with the heaviest amount of salt

“Butt sweaty pie, you’re actually tripping balls something fierce.” There was enough salt for a batch of Mcdonalds 99c menu fries.

Hannibal may be a salty hoe, but Will was ready for that shit.

“El-oh-el, you actually think I want to play your game?  Finna end the mother fucker.”  If they were in Sassyland living in Sassy City, the Capital of Sassyland, then Will would have been the mayor of Sassy City and he’d live in the sassiest building in Sassy City and, in his spare time, be the captain of the S.S. Sassy.

“Like, why are you so obsessed with me?  Your design isn’t even that great.” He snapped his fingers in a z-formation.  “Hashtag REKT.”

A very quality starter||open to all

i wish i had enough followers to say “lesbian will graham” and 100 people reblog with “real”

Will studiously watches Hannibal’s hands and mouth, one eyebrow twitching upwards.  With one last dubious look at both the food and his companion, he mimicked the process.  Crack the shell, pull it out, scrape the top, et cetera.  He pauses before pressing his lips to the tip of his morsel and then pushing the food all the way into his mouth, a little slowly.  It is, of course, delicious.

He swallows.  “Alright.”

// if u wanna // [runsonfear]: "I assume this is a food."

“You’re not hesitating are you? I assure you, it’s delicious.”