Rulerzreachf-4-n - RULERZREACHF4N

compilation of my many tweets about narumitsu proposing and getting married. feat. @commanderfreddy

(my twitter replacement blog: @corviiids)

i am compiling a list of Freaknix wright moments bc. i see absolutely no one talking about his. preferences.

another gravity falls animation! :3 hope yall enjoy!

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[siren/pirate au] info

ask and you shall receive @rayyanishere1

normally Ford wouldn't do this but I like to think he would unintentionally act more bolder and brash when he's in his work state as a result of sleep deprivation and constant caffeine intake

Stan, however, is always bold and brash

the minecraft movie couldnt possibly recreate even a shred of the humor found in these screenshots

PLEASE CAN SOMEONE DRAW HALT AND CROWLEY AS ONE OR BOTH OF THESE PHOTOS!!!

(when I say someone I mean multiple people because woo hoo different art styles and these photos are adorable)

Just found out that on Alex's Hirsch's charity livestream they drew PHOENIX WRIGHT/TAD STRANGE FANART

7 x 7 year gap Narumitsu fic recs (part 4)

The seven year gap years are some of the richest for Narumitsu fan fiction. Below are seven more of my favourite seven year gap fics, in no particular order. This is part 4 of a series. See Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 for the others!

Sharing because sharing is caring <3

1) The Path Once So Clear by Wildfey

Rating: T Words: 4,693 Time to read: 60 min

Beautifully written with empathy for our beloved characters, this fic is a freakin’ hidden gem. It takes place over the summer of earlier in the 7yr gap and contains the origin story of how Phoenix meets Athena. It has fantastic and smart dialogue written with affectionate humour and savvy. I fell in love a couple of times over the 4 chapters. Highly recommended.

~7~

2) Tomorrow by marttyyriroskis

Rating: E Words: 54,215 Time to read: 3.5 hours

In my eyes, this work is incredibly underrated and deserves so many more kudos and comments and bookmarks. The take on the characters ring so truthfully. Not fluffy. Dark but wholesome. If you like rewarding character growth journeys, not sketched but painted, based on key canon events, this fic is for you.

~7~

3) like a warm embrace by Samioli for hydrancheas

Rating: E Words: 8,828 Time to read: 40 min

Miles finds himself in a situation where he needs to wear Phoenix's hoodie and when he puts it on, he finds it smells like Phoenix, and, um, it leads to some smexy, schexy, swexy times. The one with the hoody and corset (I had no idea male corsets were a thing until I read this fic, and uh, thanks fan fiction for bettering my life!). One of the tags says 'Porn with Feelings' but honestly, there is a story arc here, it's wonderfully written and it's lovely.

~7~

4) if you leave the light on by angstinspace for starluci

Rating: T Words: 16,077 Time to read: 1.25 hours

One of my fav 7 yr gap fics that is on the comforting side of this era. Phoenix and Trucy spend time with Miles in Europe. Filled with gorgeously written locations, memories of closeness but where the timing just wasn't quite right, and tender domestic moments, Miles is pining kinda hard in this one, but that said, read this to feel better. <3

~7~

5) Promise You'll Stay by thornrabbit

Rating: M Words: 14,903 Time to read: 60 min

The story of how Miles came to secretly live with Phoenix every time he's in LA. I loved this one on so many levels... Thank you thornrabbit for all the feels and just the perfect amount of exciting, sensitive and beautifully written smut ;)

~7~

6) waiting for the post credits by kitelines

Rating: G Words: 4,676 Time to read: 20 min

Really nice short fic. When reading you can just picture their location, feel the weather, taste the crumbs, sense texture of the scarves and concrete, and pick up on the tension, love and subtexts/nuances in their relationships. Such flavourful, good writing. I'm a huge fan of kitelines’ writing and encourage you to binge them all. Most are works you can devour in under 30 mins, and all of them are just wonderful. This fic is part the Wright Family Week 2022 series

~7~

7) 3 x 7 year gap ficlets! by various

Yeah, yeah, I may be fudging my '7 x7' rule - but self-made rules are made to be broken my babies! Moo ha ha haaaaa!!! Ψ (•̀ᴗ•́)و

7.1 Those Are Bad for You by SaturnPeach Rating: M Words: 516 Time to read: 2.5 min Hiccups and wine on the balcony, and good, believable dialogue in a ficlet 👍

7.2 you only have one chance by SapphireWine Rating: T Words: 1170 Time to read: 5 min I'm laying down this one, because it is so beautiful and good (this is the one where Miles has more than one glass of wine the night before Phoenix has to leave and he realizes that 'he needs to kiss this man before he leaves. Or he might die.'). But really, please go check out all of SapphireWine's stuff. They are a *brilliant* and imaginative writer.

7.3 Phoenix Wright vs Hans Christian Anderson by SapphireWine Rating: T Words: 1,511 Time to read: 7 min Another beautiful, bittersweet, 7 year gap piece by one of the most intuitive Narumitsu masters out there.

Ok, sadly this part 4 ends my 7 Year Gap Narumitsu collection - for now! To keep you going until I have more, I am including a BONUS 7 year gap fic - An unfinished one! Subscribe to it and join me in the comments section if you like it!

red tape and the pieces of youth by demistories Unfinished - so far the word count is at 31,450 (2 hours) Tagged as M (smut to come?) This is a really sweet canon adjacent au fic where Miles and Phoenix get married in order to adopt Trucy. I LOVE the fact that this author realized that Phoenix's adoption of Trucy in the game was highly improbable in real life, so they did a pile of their own research and took matters in to their own hands. Sensitively written with humour and empathy. Come for the fake marriage of Miles and Phoenix, stay for the Franziska, Maya and kids.

Do you have a seven year gap story that I haven't featured yet? Please share in the tags or comments!

And thank you again to the authors for sharing your awesome talents. You’ve enriched my life so much (and yeah, maybe helped me procrastinate from doing my taxes and housework 🤓❤️)

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