Oneshot / Campaign Idea:

Pet Idea

Gleep Glorp

Description: A small, tiny, mini octopus. It goes gleep glorp. It makes you slightly more squishy and bouncy and glorpy.

Functionality:

+5 ft to your max jump

Advantage on grappling enemies

Roll a d4 if you get hit by a bludgeoning weapon (3d6 damage = 3d4, 1d20 damage = 1d4) the result is the damage that the attacker receives as the weapon bounces back from your glorpious body.

You must feed Gleep Glorp.

A hungry Gleep Glorp can leave to find a better owner or threatening you by revoking your gleepy privileges.

Inspiration: Gleep Glorp @the-lumpfish-king

Silly Character

Race: Mimic

Class: Druid (Circle of The Moon)

Description: A mimic who can turn into animals too. Has learnt Common by living for a bit with human farmers as a cat (to eat the mouses)

Name: Sparklefluffy Whiskertoes

Inspiration: I just wanted a funny first-character for my trans best friend who is in love with shapeshifting

Magic Item Idea

Paper Knife

Description: A piece of paper with a drawing of a knife. The piece of paper can’t be burned or destroyed as long as it has charges. Per each charges used, the knife drawn gets more and more covered in blood. Recharges every day.

Functionality: 23/day you can touch the piece of paper and point at an enemy that immediately suffer 1d4 piercing damage, or 1d6 if outside of combat (this action starts combat)

Inspiration: @trilliath’s mom

I was explaining to my mom about how tumblr is excited for the ides of march tomorrow, and celebrating the assassination of a corrupt politician etc. etc. and she goes, "Oh! So what do we wear!"

And I said, "IDK a knife?"

And she said, "Ohh, I don't think I can get away with that at the conference. But I know, I'll draw a picture of a knife and carry it around in my pocket and get a giggle out of it whenever I look in my pocket!"

Anyway my mom's brilliant and I think we should all carry paper knives tomorrow.

I’m both these people and I hate it

there is an IMAGE in my HEAD and i cannot DRAW IT. hatred and rage.

This is a PERFECT way to introduce D&D to a party of newbies.

Maybe make the child mute (so that they cannot say their own name, escaping the oldest trick in the book) or simply make them very nice to the fairies and respectful of the nature thanks to, idk, a grandma Druid.

If you take the grandma Druid you can make that since she was very rich thanks to her adventures, some bandits kidnapped the child to have for ransom. Then the Grandma, knowing the relationship with the fairies that his grandson had, asked for their help.

For 10+ years a child goes to a forest to play/talk with the fairies there despite local legends of their sadism/cruelty, and afflicting fates worse than death. So when the now 16 y/o child is abducted, the traffickers find out not all local legends are BS when the fairies come for their “pet”.

I’ll counter attack,

Invisibility but it breaks if people don’t know where you are

Invisibility but it breaks if you do anything except attacking

Weapon Idea

Dagger of Betrayal

Description: an old looking dagger, clearly made by someone very experienced in the craft, a red unidentified gemstone in its handle emits an ominous dim light

Functionality: A dagger that deals 2d12 additional damage to those who see the wielder as an ally and charmed enemies.

Inspiration: I’m going to have so much fun today

Pet Idea

Cat of Many Cats

Description: A cat that the party can see randomly during their journeys, if they get too close, the cat disappears behind a corner or another obstacle. The second time the party meets the cat, they feel a sense of familiarity looking at the cat, and that will happen only with the Cat of Many Cats. It doesn’t speak if talked to with a spell, it has immunities to be charmed, paralysed, frightened etc etc.

Functionality: Each time the Cat appears in front of the players roll 1d4 and add the result to a value called Cat Value (X). Every night that the players spend in a relatively safe and warm place (inn/tavern/tents/ etc etc) roll 1d20, on a 5 or lower, the Cat will appear outside (the party can’t know that but a cat could be on the outside side of the window or meowing from outside, alarming them). When the party/a player goes out to look for the Cat, they will see a number of times equals to the times that the Cat appeared at the players, after 1 minute of seeing them or after that every player see the cats, whoever saw them falls asleep/in trance for 5 minutes.

Upon awakening the players will receive X Temporary Hit Points. After losing all the X THP, the players feel the same familiar warm of when they saw the cat and gets a Bonus Feature called Cat’s Eye (only those who saw all the Cats and get the THP in the first place).

Cat’s Eye:

+2 to Animal Handling, +2d6 Temporary Hit Points after identifying an Illusion as an illusion, +1d6 to all the spell you cast involving Illusions (Minor Illusion, Invisibility, Mirror Image, Disguise Self, etc etc)

Inspiration: the tweets above, reblogged and inspired by @ur-daily-inspiration which makes perfect sense.

Pet Idea

Lystrosaurus

Description: A fucking Lystrosaurus

Inspiration: Get recked meme above