Hello Beloveds ☺️

"Isabeau isn't that interesting of a character compared to the others" is a take I have regrettably seen. I have never believed it for a moment but I realized I had way more immediate thoughts on the other cast members, so I went to fix that. And ohhh, Isabeau.

Siffrin's "not the only one acting in this play," but Isabeau's act of sorts is compelling to me because of how deeply intentional it is, even before the loops. He agrees with the craftology book's description of Protector Craft users being patient, loyal, and "very gullible" with a smile. He's upset that he didn't know what colors were, but when Odile tells him, "We don't usually count on you to know things," he corrects himself after a short pause with an "Oh yeah! That's true!!!"

His relationship with Odile makes me ill because her more straightforward, joking remarks unknowingly hit right where it hurts. I think of the SASASAP art book's relationship chart - "I wanna impress [Odile]! Old me would have..." as if the current version of him would never be able to. But he can! He does, in different loops! The two of them are the ones that synthesize the information on Wish Craft, and Odile compliments his questions about the King in the candle room ("Good questions, Isabeau. You have pretty smart insights sometimes").

Isabeau and Siffrin are the two that always ask Odile what her research is about, and she goes along with it because it's easier than explaining. Both Isa and Odile unknowingly reinforce those boxes, because those boxes and labels are easier to live in instead of telling the truth. And in Isa's case, it's not that faking it 'til you make it is bad or wrong, but it becomes a cover-up for the problems he can only heal by confronting them.

I think of the bathroom conversation between Isabeau and Mirabelle, how when she asks if he's doing okay, he tries to call himself simple, saying he "[doesn't] have a big enough brain to worry about things." How it's such a painfully obvious lie. How he's the one to always worry about others and whether they're alright, but he can't accept the same for himself. (Like a certain someone else.)

There's a lot to glean from comparing Isa's anxieties and conflict avoidance with both Mirabelle and Odile. Odile is caring, but also pragmatic, confronting the problem even if she isn't the best at it. Isa knows something's wrong, but isn't ready to ask. Their bathroom talk during Susquest highlights their dichotomy.

And although Mirabelle admits she's "no good at being confrontational," she's the one to ask Siffrin what's wrong in SASASAP's True End route. Isa was going to, but he spends so much time trying to "build up to it," trying to plan out how to word it correctly, that he's too late to the punch.

(thank you isat script project! 🤍)

Isabeau has been working on it, for sure, but his fears hold him back constantly. He's the type that wants to both reassure others and to be reassured. To make sure he's not messing up his relationships, to make sure that existing the way he is is okay. He's become louder, more boisterous, someone who loves hugs, because those are qualities he values, but to an extent where his older traits - shyness, but also his intelligence and nerdiness - feel incompatible in his mind. He starts to see those qualities as bad because of how he struggled to love himself (and still does). His Change is good for him, but the way he tries to mold his personality is forced, even inauthentic, as he tries to run away from himself.

It's compelling in the context of ISAT's rejection of stereotypes and the typical found family structure, too. Odile's the "smart one," so he can't outshine that, Siffrin's the "funnyjokespun person," so that can't be his only trait, even if he's the big strong man (and he instead contrasts this by acting gullible and foolish - I wonder if he exaggerates it around the party at all, consciously or not?) Bonnie's the kid to take care of (which can lead Isa's words to sounding "patronizing"), and Mira's the leader, the kind, loving Chosen One who brought everyone together (not that he'd want to take center stage to begin with). And it's also interesting to examine from a gender role lens (a few people have done so. ouuuch!).

This doesn't even begin to talk about how similar he is to Siffrin, how closed off they both are in different ways, how they want to be loved so badly but can't express it, the way they suppress their emotions (thinking about these two posts. i'm normal!). That could be its own separate infinity word post by this point.

But it's so lovely how Siffrin's actions in the end - how they take Isabeau's hand, how they reassure him ("We wouldn't like you any less if you were smart, you know"), are ones that help Isabeau confront his fears just a little bit more. It's like he says: "Changing takes time, you know!!!"

And fortunately, he has people who will be there for him every step of the way, even if they physically go their separate ways.

i love when characters lie to themselves in the complete privacy of their own minds

Starting my first game of dungeons and dragons and I got the PERFECT lineup.

The gay I meet by doing gay people theatre

My childhood friend from second grade

My childhood friends sister (also from second grade)

AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:

My mother

They’re gonna slay level 1 goblins so hard!

Genuinely contemplating booting up my dusty old HP laptop that has 5 FPS on the home screen and 99% RAM permanently taken up just to run, and trying to play undertale yellow on it. Because it isint compatable with my real linux computer

Writing act 5 while listening to the MDP theme. Loop will be catching no breaks today. I’m evil >:] the sloopis tag and sloopis content in my fic is merely bait, and once my readers take it… they get the hook of the horrors. I’ve already made someone cry

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

merry christmas. enjoy chapter 11. :]

Stellar Nebula - Main sequence star - Red Giant - White Dwarf

I like this :]

da little silly cultist.

2x the length

3x the pain

Have fun