Happy Birthday To My Son 🐯💐

you ever watch something and just think... "god i cannot wait to get on ao3 after this"

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

grammar this. grammar that. sometimes 'grammatically correct' just doesn't hit the spot. the vibes are telling me to laugh in the face of the english language and that's exactly what I'm going to do, one incorrectly structured sentence at a time.

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

the more i love him the more he'll suffer tbh

lock the fuck in?? no way dude. I am TUCKED the fuck in :) good night

my wife tried to do the thing where you pull a tablecloth really fast and the dishes stay in place but instead of a tablecloth it was a towel and instead of dishes it was our poor long suffering cat that was just trying to sleep on said towel. poor baby got whipped across the room fast enough that its meow got dopplered into meeeeeeOOOWWwwwwww

I’m deficient in vitamins they haven’t even discovered yet