People Online Will Try To Tell Me That I Haven’t Experienced “real Abuse” Because My Dad Never

people online will try to tell me that I haven’t experienced “real abuse” because my dad never hit me but like. He didn’t allow me to drink water for hours on end while he cranked the heat up even in the summer. We weren’t struggling to afford it and he had plenty. He was allowed to drink water, but I had to sneak gulps from the bathroom sink. He also made me eat inordinate amounts of salty food. I don’t care if he never hit me, that is abuse. The first thing I would do when I got to my moms house was chug a glass of water, but I didn’t know how to tell her what had happened because it wasn’t “real abuse”

"But calling that abuse is offensive to victims of real abuse."

People always say this whenever something socially acceptable is labeled as abuse.

But that's not how abuse works. Not even close. Abuse, even "real abuse", always starts off being socially acceptable. Then, the abuser slowly experiments to see how much they can get away with.

Calling it "abuse" for a parent to expect obedience is not downplaying what victims of "real child abuse" experience. It's literally how "real child abuse" starts. First, the parent expects obedience. Then, once they can get away with that, they can justify punishments for disobedience. Then, once they can get away with that, they can gradually justify crueler punishments. Then, they eventually justify hitting, which society considers okay as long as it's only as a last resort. Then, it becomes more common, which they still get away with as long as the child doesn't end up in the hospital. Then, when the beatings become bad enough that the child does end up in the hospital, the parent can claim it was an "accident" and that they didn't mean for it to go that far. Then, when they face no consequences for their "accident", they can do it more often.

Calling it "pedophilia" for a middle aged adult to date an 18-year-old is not downplaying what victims of "real pedophilia" experience. It's literally how "real pedophilia" starts. First, they date an 18-year old, which society allows because "they're an adult". Then, they start specifically preferring 18-year-olds. Then, they start openly admitting that it's because they want someone less opinionated and more likely to obey. Then, once they know that they can get away with openly thinking of 18-year-olds as children while still having sex with them, it's quite easy to justify a relationship with a 17-year-old.

If you want to stop "real abuse", stopping the "lesser abuse" must be a priority.