The Drowned District Is Probably One Of The Funniest Levels To Play As Ghost Clean Hands Corvo Because,

The drowned district is probably one of the funniest levels to play as ghost clean hands Corvo because, listen, just put yourself into Daud's shoes for a second.

You find the Empress' boytoy (whose life you ruined by framing him as the culprit of the murder you committed) half dead in a boat, and because this is the same guy that you know for a fact has been methodically taking down the entire conspiracy with the supernatural aid of the same black-eyed cunt who gave you your powers, and because he has every right to hold a grudge against you, you decide to lock him up, halfway expecting to see him escape and rampage through your base to come and make a wardrum out of your hide.

Case in point, he disappears almost immediately... except that, hours later, the alarm still hasn't rung and nobody has shown up.

At this point you're starting to feel a bit paranoid- where is he? Maybe he's already in the room. Maybe he's been spying on you to find the best moment to kill you stealthily.

So you go and check, and that's when you realize that most of your team is currently snoring in humorously suggestive poses and that your personal key and pretty much anything that wasn't nailed down is gone.

By now, he's probably out of your base.

You tell the few who are still awake to stand down and go back to your room to pour yourself a glass of the only bottle of liquor that survived his pilfering.

You didn't even get the chance to say the speech you had prepared.

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

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richardgreenleaf113

5 months ago