The Two Fundamental Truths Of Historical And Contemporary Mankind:

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I need a The Might Nein The Locked Tomb!AU and a The Locked Tomb Exandria!AU so bad you guys

Tell me you see my vision here

I can't be the only one

I have ideas

wait wait wait guys have you ever thought about how the Mighty Nein are everything they shouldn’t be upon first glance

no no guys guys listen to me they’re all the antithesis of what they’re meant to be and that’s why they’re such amazing and heartfelt characters

like, Caleb is a wizard who’s afraid of his own fire magic. his own power causes him to falter in battle. his strongest spells are his most dangerous to himself. wizards are supposed to be prideful of their magic, but Caleb’s is the reason he hates himself

Beau is a monk who never wanted to be. her job is one that people normally associate with being calm and collected and Beau was a wild rebellious kid who got dragged into this line of work against her will. she never wanted to be this!! but now she is and she’s gotta deal with it!!

Fjord is a warlock who never wanted power from his pact, which is why you’d think a warlock would make their pact at all. but no. Fjord made his pact because he wanted to live, not because he wanted power. he was a scared orphan who hated his tusks, not a buff, muscled, angry half-orc like people assumed

Nott is NOT, that’s the whole crux of her narrative! she wasn’t pretty, like a halfling girl was supposed to be. she wasn’t a goblin, she was just transformed into one. and not only that, but despite being a three-foot-tall alcoholic kleptomaniac, she’s the mom of the group!

Jester is a Cleric whose god isn’t actually a god and who would much rather bash bad guys over the head with her lollipop than have to stop and heal her friends!! she’s a bubbly, optimistic ray-of-sunshine, but you know when she says she’s gonna change the world with friendship she means it as a threat

Mollymauk is an amnesiac, but he doesn’t want to remember who he was. if you ask him, that wasn’t him! he might be a flirtatious hedonistic carnie, but he’s also single-mindedly devoted to making the world a better and more loved place than it was when he found it. he’s a liar, but he means well. he’s an arrogant fool, yes, but he’s right! he did it! he left it better!

Caduceus seems like he’d be creepy and grim from growing up in a graveyard, but he’s actually the most chill out of the entire Nein by far. he’s calm, he’s sweet, and he’s comforting, more than anything else. you’d think he’d be amazed by seeing the outside world for the first time, but he spends the whole time knowing that one day he’ll return home, that he wasn’t supposed to be the one to leave

Yasha is a barbarian with skeletal wings and a dramatic, monochromatic look, but she’s a complete sweetheart. she’s Molly’s best friend, she was a carnival bouncer, she’s a lesbian disaster who collects pressed flowers in a book out of love for the wife she lost. those black wings were actually hiding soft white feathers

Essek was born straight into the den of politics, he was a spymaster, he literally started a war for his own gain, and yet. he’s sounds irredeemable on paper, but. he’s not!! sure, the Nein kind of have to drag his alignment kicking and screaming into neutral, but they manage it. Essek learns and grows and he overcomes his nature. he becomes good, against all odds

guys guys guys don’t you see it!! look at them!!they’re such compelling characters!! they’re everything they’re not supposed to be!! dude y’all how didn’t I realize this earlier!! they subvert their narratives in the most interesting ways ever and I justhshsbhshshsjnsmshsnhsfn!!

I don't get how critters aren't constantly on their hands and knees praying and giving tribute to Creative Director Marisha Ray daily, in fact I don't get how all of the constant hate she gets doesn't get immediately ratioed; the live shows the sets the production has jumped and improved to a level that is theatre stage quality and elevated the entirety of the show with it and while I understand there are a lot of talented artists are behind it, its marisha's vision that is constantly keeping shit in line and you can SEE it. wherever there is fun, magic, mystery and whimsy I always see her hand behind it. she deserves the world

sorry I say weird shit sometimes I’m just so excited to be alive

Ao3 version that lets you open the 'director's cut' where I, the author, explain every detail in excruciating detail to you and what it is in reference to.

the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

In my slow process of watching a Critical role And somehow I couldn't resist sketch firbolgs x)

Critical Role gets so much weirder when you remember that lines like “I wish for you in the future, to find someone who will mourn you when are gone” and “You were not born with venom in your veins” aren’t scripted, but lines like “Mother, I bring news from the womb” and “Meow. I’m a cat” are

Official: We’re looking for a dangerous fugitive from the Dynasty by the name of Essek Thelyss, have you seen him recently?

Caleb: I’m sure I don’t know who you’re talking about

Essek, hiding under the table: *using mage hand to rotate all the jars labelled “Essek” to hide his name whenever the officer glances away*