The Face Eiji Made Here Was So Painful, It Reminded Me Of Another Time He Made It

the face eiji made here was so painful, it reminded me of another time he made it

so i was rewatching banana fish because i was getting a close online friend to watch it for her first time (this is ur sign to make ur besties suffer too if u havent already :>) and while watching episode 13, i got a better look at this pained expression eiji made..

in this scene, he was having an inner dialogue addressed to ash, where he speaks of the nightmares ash suffers through and how he pretends not to notice them and in this shot we see an example of it. eiji's back is turned to ash so that he can't see eiji's face or tell that he's awake. he then wonders to himself what ash dreamt of that had him so distressed at night. this is pretty cut-and-dry and there's nothing really to discuss here that hasn't been talked about already but i have such great appreciation for this show because the look on eiji's face here reminded me of a different face he made in episode 22:

something atrocious just happened to ash and eiji can tell immediately upon seeing the way he was acting when finally away from the commotion of gunfire. and while eiji hasn't gone through the things ash has gone through, hasn't witnessed them directly or even had knowledge of just how disgusting people could be up until recently, he looks at ash's current state, looks at how shaken up and afraid he is, and he looks so angry.

i know a lot of people (not the majority but definitely some) have a kind of reaction to this scene of frustration towards eiji for not being angry or "showing" his anger. they get mad at him for not saying anything or turning to violence or thinking of vengeance. and i think that reaction, while understandable, is not necessary here and would have ruined the weight of a scene like this, especially in the context of such a graphic crime like rape. even if he did have the reaction those people watching wanted, its not like he can deliver on it at all.

what he felt then was an intense anger, seething quietly but still present, towards the world. towards foxx. towards every adult in ash's life that didn't help or intervene or protect him through the hell ash was going through. and yet it already happened. bloodshed or blind fury wouldn't undo it, all it would do is add to ash's baggage and nobody wants that. realistically, he only had one thing that he could give to ash and it was the one thing ash needed most. he needed all his swaying pieces to be held together and no amount of outrage will ever have the same impact as that moment of silence where eiji held him in his arms.

those same things eiji wonders whether ash dreams of them are the things he witnessed ash walk away from during that moment of vulnerability. his exploitation. if it weren't for the greed of men, ash would not have had those nightmares, and that's why eiji had that same look on his face when hearing ash wake up from one. he knew that no matter what the nightmare was, it had something to do with the way he's either neglected or used and abused by adults all the time

god this show hurts. he probably wanted to do so much more in that moment yet all he could do was hold ash in his arms

AshEiji Tarot 🌹

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2 years ago

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2 months ago

Banana Fish Miscellaneous -> stageplay, signature artwork, booklet, concept art

(1) Not sure where this one comes from..might have been a booklet newspaper advertising Garden of Light

(2) Signature artwork uploaded by @/haruharummy on Twitter. Do not know how old it is. It was uploaded in 2018, but the user says they received it at a signing event somewhere when they were in high school.

(3) Stage Play images pulled from Mercari JP.

(4) Congratulations artwork found on BFish’s anime website.

(5) Ash Lynx original concept anime design, this one’s not to hard to find but whenever I look for it it’s always zoomed in lol (personally like this concept better his hair is his River Phoenix design.)

(6&7) Stage play scans found on wiki.

Last image is a magazine clipping from 1987.

Mainly think I will be focusing on archiving manga work for this blog and not the anime or stage any other form of adaptation but will see lol

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2 years ago

Ash and Michael.

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2 months ago

beautiful boys

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2 months ago

THE CAMERA AND THE GUN

(tw: discussion/explicit mention of Ash Lynx's past)

I think that as a fandom, we don't appreciate the importance of Eiji being a photographer (or going to the US as one) enough.

Given Ash's past, cameras are something he's very vulnerable under. He's constantly been exploited for his body and image, and the child corn videos of him were still up for distribution until Max burned all of it. Even the sound of cameras can be a triggering memory, such as when he's confronting Kippard and he's transported back into a childhood memory with the incessant "click click click" of the camera.

Eiji, showing up to that bar, pulling up a camera with his job literally being to take pictures of him, embodied everything Ash should distrust. However Eiji asks is he can take the photos, and Ash replies "not the face", this obviously makes sense given he's a criminal, but with what we learn later it's obviously more than that.

Ash was carrying a gun, Eiji a camera, to both of them what the other person was carrying was the greater weapon. However, famously, Eiji asks for Ash's gun, takes it and gives it back and says "thank you for trusting me with it", which I think is really key. Ash has just seen that if he can trust Eiji with a gun, perhaps he can trust him with a camera.

Which he does. We never really see Eiji take pictures of Ash during the course of the show, but we know he did thanks to garden of light, where we actually see some of them. The fact that Eiji has a camera, giving him the power to make Ash feel vulnerable and observed, but doesn't at any moment, must've given Ash so much hope. In the same way he tells Eiji that it's the first time anyone has done something for him without "asking for something in return" this is probably the first time someone has had the power to hurt him and not used it.

The fact Ash can trust Eiji so fully with a camera, and feel comfortable and unguarded around him just speaks so so much to the nature of their relationship and just how deep and true it was. With Eiji, Ash really can just be himself "a boy of 17 years old" he's not afraid in the slightest, even if every single thing from his past should tell him to run. The trust Ash has in Eiji is just as great and moving as the trust Eiji has in Ash. Eiji tells Ash he was never scared of him, not for a moment, which is something that Ash finds great comfort in, but it's also true the other way around.

Eiji the one who trusted a boy with a gun and Ash , the one who trusted a boy with a camera. Gosh I love them.

🍌🐟

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2 years ago