Thank you for having me back the kingmaker histories.... I love being tiny and evil (Dieter Nation).... This short will make you crap your pants š„
Transcript
Maxim Moretz gives you his advice on how to run a wholesome, legal, ethical family business.
Content Warning: violence against children (1:06-1:08), unreality (1:23-1:29), suicide mention (2:20-2:25) (3:00-3:05)
ITS FUCKING REAL. KISSING KILLJAM XXX HELLO. I LOVE YOU KILLJAM!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Faustinaās a Disaster Bi with 600 confirmed kills.
Bellamyās a ruthless Trans Masc with a robot arm.
Together, theyāre going to take over the world of KILLJAM.
Life isnāt easy in San Malvado - the future megacity where murder is legal, loan sharks take body parts as repayments, and amoral corporations rule. Itās also the hometown of KILLJAM - the televised death game where women with cybernetic enhancements and Gene Mod superpowers battle it out for fame, riches, and glory. And thereās no Jammer more famous than EKWās Faustina Fetamine.
But a scandal and a knife in the back from Faustinaās vindictive boss turns her life upside down. Now sheās at rock bottom with the mother of all targets on her back, and the only one who can help is her new manager - the cynical, streetwise Bellamy Pink. Can the unlikely duo beat the odds, with the help of a charming British thief, a dorky reptile scientist, and a wealthy snake MILF, or will they just end up another pair of KILLJAM casualties?
Find us on Podbean.
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Keep an eye on The Cast.
Find out about The Crew.
Coming soon to your favorite podcatcherā¦
Perhaps an Evil Little Weenie is back and perhaps I voice that Evil Little Weenie..... in this episode of: The Kingmaker Historpeed my pants because this episode was so scary!!!!!!!! SHITS GETTING REAL!!!!! SHITS GETTING SO REAL!!!!!! Listen on your own accord or else I will employ my army of mages to come to your house and..... attack you.... But not before they make you listen to the episode. That would be counterintuitive to have them kill you before listening to the episode.
The new episode is up now!
Transcript Link
Klaus Holzmann is preparing for the future.
Content Warning: political oppression, assassination, mentioned torture, violence, gunshots
omg! i found out you had a tumblr account today!!!!! also did you know theres a springtastic refrence in BFDIA??? (second season of bfdi)
HIIII HELLO! Yes.... I am a little tumblrina. Im tryna use it more but I am extremely forgetful and often only post in one place at a time LMFAO. BUT HI!
AND NO! WHAT!!?? I will have to check it out. Being perfectly honest Im a little behind on the ii/bfdi stuffs (I've just had a lot going on) but this is my wakeup call to catch up. SPRINGTASTIC
shit fuck fuck shit is it still Tuesday in other countries.... I almost forgot podcast girls week
For the this too is yuri prompt- I relistened to a couple of eps of where the stars recently fell so naturally I had to draw Them.
YOU KNOW THE DRILL MOTHERFUCKERS ITS @kingmakerpod KINGMAKER NATTTTTTT(ion) TIME...... How do I type out "Kingmaker Nat". If I was saying it verbally it'd be like "Kingmaker Naysh". Kingmaker Nat just sounds like Im saying Kingmaker Gnat (which, I suppose applies in this particular instance, because the trio are the size of gnats...... somewhat)..... BUT I DIGRESS. SPOILERS FOR THE KINGMAKER HISTORIES EP29 BELOW ā THIS ONE ENTERS INTO MY ALLTIME FAV EPISODE SLOTS
āTelesphore tried to kill me once and allā ā(sighs fondly) I did.ā I love gay people
The sound design in every ep is rlly fantastic but this one particularly has my head in a grip for some reasonā¦.. In a very tight skull clench⦠So so good. Like for example the beard itching & the unfolding of blueprints, ITS SO IMMERSIVE ā & off-topic but on topic, I missed these 3 dipshits. I love the juxt between the last ep (being so gravely serious and frightening) and this one (which primarily follows the main 3ās schemes once more)ā¦. Kingmaker never missesā¦.. (Unlike a certain ice mage from the last episode)ā¦ā¦
SHORTSTACK EISEN!!!!!!!!!! (& TINY TELESPHORE. āTELESTWO. TELESTHREE.ā)
āEISEN: Oh, aye, absolutely. Iāve made three prototypes from this design, and Iāve never had a single fatalityā¦. I mean, of course, Iāve never tested it on a living subject either. | COLETTE AND TELESPHORE: WHAT? | EISEN: Brace yourselves!ā THE TRIO IS SO QUIPY IN THIS EP⦠AGAIN THE VOICE ACTING GOES FUCKING METAL. Also āAt last, Telsie, my love, we can see⦠eye to eye.ā āI hate this.ā The back-and-forths between all the charas are fucking brilliant. I love how this ep is paced dialogue-wise so soo dearly
Piggybacking off the last bulletpoint ā ITS NOT JUST THE TRIO, ITS EVERYONE. ITāS EVERYONE WHOāS QUIPY & GIVING SUPREME PERFORMANCES (whatās new) BUT FOR REAL!!!!! Oh my god this ep is hitting so fucking hard I love these charas so much. The dialogue is great and the performances take it to the next level. They live and breatheā¦. they live & breatheā¦ā¦ As always Addison is killing it as my fav murder matriarchā¦.. and Ben Rowe as Crowley. I love how hes got a magical Jack Horner-esque collection of freaky items. Is somebody gonna match my freak Is Is somebody gonna match my freak (Ariadne + Aleister, initials carved not on a tree but into someoneās corpse)
THE BONEDRINKER SHREWS š¹
āDid you drop this (paper) in a glass of water? Why does it look like that?ā āA woman should be entitled to a few secretsā I wouldnāt be telling people about my naked paper eating pre-rat transformation habits either (only true kingmaker fans will understand this sentence). Good call girl
āOf course, god forbid a woman do anything without being called mad in those days.ā āSo she was sane?ā āOh no. Ha! No, not at all.ā AMAZING DELIVERY BY ADDISON.
I love these two horrifically-evil-bodytwisting people flirting it up and then, from them, immediately shifting to a scene of three teensy people running from bonedrinking shrews & quipping abt how tiny they are. Oh how I love you kingmaker so so much. I need to make a sticker that says āOnly In Kingmakerā, and when people ask, āWhatās Only In Kingmaker. What do you meanā, I will tell them āYou just have to listen. You just have to listen to it to be in-the-know⦠in on the loreā¦.. the Teleslore....."
Stop me from saying this every 2 sentences (I WILL NEVER STOP!!!!!!) but this episode and specifically the performances are SUPREME!!!!!! Holy fuck EVERY EP BUILDS ON EACH OTHER, IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER & BETTER. Everyone is embodying their characters on such a supreme level Oh my god. Theyāve always been so genuine but u can tell everyone has just clicked into their roles like a snug glove. And this ep specifically is SO FUN, like a condensed adventure movie in the style of likeā¦.. Jumanji or the-like ā I know thatās an odd comparison but I hope u readers understand what I mean; itās so visualā¦.. I can see it. & I LOVE the trio hearing Crowley and Ariadne thru the walls. And lastly (Iāll stop dumping paragraphs soon, IM SORRY IM JUST SO EXCITED BY THIS EP) but I think the og charas in this (i.e. the main trio & even Ariadne) are hitting so much harder because last EP was so geniusly written as to NOT HAVE THEM IN IT. Is genuisly a word. Fuck you I dont care AND despite being so much lighter than the last ep tone-wise, the story still fucking flows so well.... it doesnāt feel like itās grinding to a halt just to engage in hijinks again AT ALL. SUPREME BALANCE. I love kingmaker so much Im going to explode into shrapnel for the 10000th TIME!!!
Coletteās āNO, EW, PUT IT BACK ON!!!!!ā and Telesphoreās āDo you think if I jumped off this bookcase it would kill meā during the sex scene where Ariadne LITERALLY FUCKING STEALS CROWLEYāS HEART MADE ME LAUGH ALOUD āOUT OF ALL THE ROOMS THEY COULDāVE DONE THIS IN, UNBELIEVABLE MANā EISENāS REACTION IMFUCKIGN CRYING
THE TRANSCRIPTāS DIRECTION OF ARIADNE ā(shaping out of the dom headspace)ā HELPPP CROWLEYāS DELIVERY ON āSTOP IT IM BEING SERIOUSā TOO. OK IMDONE I AM PHYSICALLY FUCKING LAUGHING ALOUD
āWere we just robbed by mice?ā āNo. Socialistsā CALLBACK TO MY FAV LINE āWorse. Royalistsā
ANTICHRISTMAS
GORILLA ARIADNE
THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE EVER I SEE TINY LITTLE MINI PEOPLE AND I LOSE MY SHIT. THIS CHASE SCENE IS INCREDIBLE FROM THE WRITING TO PRODUCTION TO EVERYTHING INBETWEEN
27:58 THE SCOTTISH MUSIC SWELL HAD ME LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT W/ EISEN. FUCK OFFFFFF BEST FUCKING EPISODE CLIMAX EVER. THE MUSIC & THE SFX HAVE ME GRIPPING MY SKULL
I need a whimsical bonedrinker shrew pet NOW!!!!
āWho were those tiny people, and follow up question, are forearms supposed to bend in this directionā THE DELIVERIES IN THIS EP ARE OFF THE CHARTS and Coletteās little āOhh fancy!ā too, so cute
Gonna start referring to the Titanic as the Gigantic and when people ask me where I got that from, Iām just gonna say āEisenā. Hold on Wait a minute Are you fucking telling me Eisen caused the FUCKING TITANIC
I LOOOOVE LOVE LOOOOVE ARIADNEY AND CROWLEY AS A DUO āĀ this last scene rocks, but WHAT. THE. FUCK. CHORONZON IS FUCKING LIZ!?!?!?!?! I DIDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE HER HOLYFUCKING SHIT LIZ!??!?! LIZ!??!?!?!?!?!??! THIS IS THE COOLEST VOICE I THINK IVE HEARD IN ANYTHING *EVER* FUCK OFF. FUCK RIGHT OFF I LOVE YOU LIZ. I AM UR BIGGEST FAN LIZ.
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF ANOTHER KINGMAKER EPIC EPISODE IMGONNA SHIT EXPLODE AND DIE 10000 TIMES AND THEN RESURRECT AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. FUCKOFF
adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting
Tis ZUWIE! | They/He/It | 23www.reignoftiramizu.comIllustrator | Voice Actor | Musician | Writer | Jesterš³ļøāā§ļøš¹š³ļøāšPurveyor of mildly-irritating curses.And my organs are made of fondant!!!! šš«
260 posts