You Flinch Back Slightly As The Sparkling Wand With Frilly Pink Ribbons Around The Base Of Its Head Knocks

You flinch back slightly as the sparkling wand with frilly pink ribbons around the base of its head knocks on the top of your noggin, the girl’s voice rather puffy and annoyed in a cute way rather than her usual cheery tone.

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, your inky black tendrils of darkness slowly reconvening around you after having been blown off by blasts of rainbows and sunshine in the battle that ended moments before. “You’re supposed to lock me up, or kill me, or something! The least you could do is brainwash me with some kind of friendship laser to make me want to stop rather than leaving me to work through this while still wanting to burn down cities and slaughter the innocent!”

The girl’s cheeks puff out slightly as her stuffed animal companion, a patchwork lynx, trots over and curls around her chosen magical-mistress. “Well, I wouldn’t have to blast you with so much magic if you could breathe and stop doing bad things! Miss Claws and I will be keeping an eye on you!” The threat shouldn’t have carried any weight, coming from a girl who is easily half of your height and less than a quarter your age, but with how well she fought just a few moments ago, you can’t help but fear what could happen next.

You recoil further, standing to your full height and moving back from the magical girl. Sleek black robes with gold trim materialize over your fitted obsidian-colored armor as you speak. “Fine then, girl… I’ll try to behave.”

The girl gives you a smile before nodding and jogging away without another word. This child can’t be normal… Her face holds a smile, and here eyes still hold a sky-blue shimmer as she moves swiftly away from a rubble strewn street, car alarms blaring and street lamps shredded to bits by your shadow tendrils.

The girl’s Lynx, Miss Claws (How such a powerful magical artifact can stand being referred to in such an idiotic way is beyond you), watches you carefully for a moment before speaking calmly. “You know, that kid will kick your ass any day of the week. Keep your nose clean, and save everyone the trouble of scraping your unconscious body off the ground, alright sweet cheeks?”

You’re a supervillain, and you have never been so utterly beaten. All of your tricks, all of your weapons, completely outdone by a prepubescent girl and a stuffed animal. You’re bracing for the finishing blow when she bops you over the head with her wand. “Don’t do any more bad stuff! …Okay?”