Please Don't Let Him Get Out

Joel: It’s best if we keep our pasts to ourselves 😠

Ellie: okay

Joel: So anyway my brother was in Desert Storm because he just couldn’t help being a hero and then he joined the Fireflies for the same reason what a fucking dweeb you know, also me and Tess and Tommy used to ambush people and it’s clearly deeply painful for me to recall but oh well—oh hey when you said it wasn’t your first time hurting someone like that what did u mean that’s wild do you wanna talk about it ):

Ellie: 👁️👄👁️

DO IT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS !

thank you 4 coming to my ted talk

Put John Mulaney on Brooklyn Nine-Nine you cowards

odysseus: if i don’t return from troy, i want you to move on and be happy penelope: ok, i’ll be sure to find a handsome replacement husband odysseus: what the fuck. obviously if you do that i will murder him when i get back

like or reblog, on twitter @shewantscamren

gay as hell to go into the woods with your camcorder. why are you recording? to upload it on the internet? so that you won’t forget? forget what? other men?

there are downsides to being a marine biologist

hey hey i’m back with jojo and it’s jotakak:)))

Can I have the uhhhh

Hard boiled fluffy haired grumpy old man w ✨issues✨ and also a heart of gold (maybe) who's always broke meal to go please