Are You Five Nights At Fucking Kidding Me

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

Okay, Children of Earth is singlehandedly the most traumatising piece of media ever produced

Cutting from Jack’s “All alien tech stays at the hub” to showing every team member (except Ianto*) using some alien tech stolen from the hub will never get old.

*Ianto does the exact opposite which is also not good

I lived in a third story apartment my last year in Kansas and the tornado sirens went off and I just went about my homework because what are you gonna do lol

i've said this before but it's so crazy that some of you just grew up with tornadoes. if i saw one twister snake down from the clouds in front of my physical eyes i would become a mad priest for the rest of my life. and people from kansas are just like "lmao yeah that's why we had basement prom that one year" or whatevr

Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

Just realized I'm watching in my tardis pj's

also I was gonna say that the whovians being decked out in merch just to watch the episode wasn't really necessary but then I realized I was watching the episode on my desktop which means the van gogh exploding tardis poster AND a shoebox tardis like amy made were Right Behind Me, so....you win this round russell

The Mrs flood reveal is either going to be absolutely incredible or an absolute and total disappointment with no in between

oh my god why did I open this app when I haven't watched the new doctor who episode did I not learn my lesson getting wot spoiled literally yesterday