Its So Funny To Me That The SECOND The Enchanting Tables Gone, Everyone Knows Its Scar Immediately. Scar

Kaz, thinking: Be normal, your friend Inej is in the shadows. Your friend, Inej. Inej, your friend.

Inej, appears: Hi Kaz.

Kaz's brain: Oh look! Inej, your wife!

HA HA I GOT PERMISSION. NOW WATCH ME SHOW THE OBSESSION WITH MY BRAINROT

In short words.

le Avery:

Andy, in the background:

Avery: Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?

Aurelie: What-

Avery: ‘Cause you a snack.

Aurelie:

Avery:

Aurelie:

Andy, in the background: *gives Avery a thumbs up*

Nina: *batting eyelashes* Matthias, are you or are you not the love of my life?

Matthias: I am? But why-?

Kaz: She's setting you up for something.

Nina: Shut it Kaz, I'm talking to the love of my life.

'Finally!' I had thought,'Good riddance to this one and a night out with the pals.' As soon as the sword pierced the skin, I knew that something was wrong.

The sword passed through the Demon like he wasn't even there. Instead, I was knocked over my balance and the sword stuck into the mud alongside me.

I gaped at the gigantic thing with red horns as it raised its club over its head. "Wait!" I pleaded.

I barely barrelled out of the way as the club collided with the mud with a THUD!

"TIME OUT!" I yelled while holding my hands in a T position. This wasn't looking too good for me, I was still on the ground and the Red Demon had swung the club over his shoulder again.

He blinked once, and then twice. "Time.... out?" He asked, not comprehending my words. My head rapidly nodded as I helped myself to my feet.

"Yeah yeah." I told him while dusting my hands,"Are you evil?" I asked the demon. In hindsight, that wasn't a question even meant to be asked to a demon of all things. But there were always gonna be exceptions.

"What now?" The Demon asked,"Me? Evil? You're the one who's evil!" He pointed at me accusingly. "You and your human buddies stole my sheep!"

I groaned and rubbed my face with my palm. "That wasn't me and also: I'm gonna go and burn some 'disturbed' landlord's house down."

You go into battle with a powerful sword enchanted to only cut those who are evil. So imagine your surprise when after striking the most vile demon known to man that not even a scratch was made.

Jesper: Kaz I can't work, my stomach hurts and I broke my ankle.

Kaz: And you can walk with your broken ankle?

Jesper: *falls to the ground*

Nina: I had a cousin who got out of the army this way.

Dead's smile from earlier was completely wiped out from his face and his lower eyelid was twitching. He grabbed the nearest raven in a chokehold and bellowed: "WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?"

Choked caws escaped the raven which promptly went up in flames. Rising from his throne, Dead summoned his staff in his hand and descended the flight of stairs.

"Now...." He smiled in a sweetly wicked kind of way,"How did you die?" I looked around the courtroom, all sorts of weird creatures were looking down on me, frowning.

"I jumped into a volcano, Mr Dead, sir." I said, feeling sweat gather at the back of my neck. Dead accusingly looked at a figure behind me, I turned and saw Death standing there.

"A volcano, she says" Dead repeated, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Death. Death started to squirm under Dead's glare but made no justification.

"It has been a while since I looked at the Black list." Death murmured slightly.

"YOU FOOL!" Dead snapped,"I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT MEMORIZED AFTER YOU INCORRECTLY TOOK THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!"

You are perfectly immortal. You can’t age, you can’t get any wounds, you can survive anything, and even if the universe were to end you are immediately taken to another universe. Not because you are demi-god or a wizard, but because the god of death’s daughter is in love with you.

I breathe in and out angrily, non-existent veins popping in my head.

"WHAT IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE?" I bellow, I turn and look towards the Grim Reaper who shrugs.

"I got no idea man." He says, scratching his head in confusion himself.

"GET HER OUT OF HERE!" I tell my mother even though she's to busy drowning herself in tears. From within my earshot, I hear my best friends whispering to themselves.

"I mean, this is a new low, even for her." They say and I can't yell at them that it isn't my choice.

I scowl and turn towards the uninvited guest in horror as she gives a speech at my funeral.

"I will haunt you for life... Umbridge."

You die in a freak accident and watch your funeral as a spirit. You’re shocked to see who comes to pay their last respects to you.

Jesper: *about Kaz* Is he still mad at us?

Inej: You more than me, I'm having his child

Jesper: THATS NOT FAIR I CANT DO THAT.

fanfiction truly being the savior for everyones sanity