"OmG NaRCISsiStS aRe sO eViL aND wIll mANipuLaTE YoU" Vro. I literally kiss my plushies goodnight and apologize to them when I accidentally make them fall off the bed. Be for real.
nah she reaaal
Fractured Fury
The world stands still, the air goes thin,
A silent void erupts within.
A crack inside, so sharp, so deep,
A wound that wakes but does not weep.
Then fire strikesβmy veins ignite,
A raging storm, no end in sight.
My breath is smoke, my voice a blade,
A fury born, a war replayed.
I scream, I shake, the earth must hear,
A beast unleashed, too wild to steer.
The walls may break, the sky may fall,
Yet still, my rage outlives them all.
Then silence creeps, so cold, so vast,
A fragile peace that will not last.
The ashes glow, the embers hide,
But fire still burns beneath my pride.
- a little poem about how i feel about narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage :)
As someone officially diagnosed with aspd.
I don't get the problem people have with self diagnosers.
Aspd on record means if go to jail get a worse sentence.
Aspd on record means many therapist in their ableism will refuse to help with any problem.
I knew i had no guilt or shame or affective empathy or feelings of compassion from earliest memories. I didn't suddenly lose those feelings when i got diagnosed.
And there is genetic evidence for aspd.
And there are psychologists that view it more like a neurodevelopmental disorder.
"Well the dsm 5"...was written by people who used studies only on prisoners for their results so it became more action focused over internal as a way to reinforce the prisoner claim.
And it's a work in progress authority...that you are blindly obeying and believing? Now that's a trait that doesn't fit aspd.
Reflect on actual symptoms like problems with boredom. Lower, missing, or weirdly selective care for feelings of compassion, affective empathy, guilt, shame, care. Things viewed differently for you then norm. Urges. Response to things. Having rules need to be explained to make sense and not just accepted in their own right. Etc.
Knowing a spectrum and if fit enough, fit enough.
And then if fit do the best to use how different for best way forward. Like i use my selfishness for long term prisoners dilema as a motivation for me to do good. I turned my high anger into motivation. I found beauty in various things as an alleviation for boredom. Etc.
Tl;dr those "with aspd" trying to fake claim others cause no official diagnoses...are the ones most likely to not have aspd.
I was intellectually gifted but emotionally neglected, so I learned to rely solely on logic because thatβs the only part of me that was ever encouraged. Eventually, my own emotions felt foreign and the next thing I know Iβm a diagnosed antisocial. Sometimes I wonderβ¦ if I had been made to feel safe enough to feel, would I have stood a chance at a normal life?
a cut that always bleeds