Hi!

Phantom of the Paradise, you're a curious one

For some reason, I was convinced PoTP was set in outer space. Star Trek meets Phantom of the Opera, if you will. ⚠️Mild spoilers afoot⚠️

In a way, I'm glad I was ridiculously mistaken. I felt the full shocking impact of a rockstar-biopic-style narrative turned '70s Faust fever dream. The rooftop scene was like waking up in a nightmare: the metaphor coming horribly to life.

Winslow is a great Erik/Phantom incarnation. As a writer, I'm in sympathy with him for being unable to realise his masterpiece because it's "too long" and the entertainment world doesn't care. And horrible adaptations ARE enough to drive one to notoriety, you go, Winslow. Terrible tragedy that he wasn't allowed access to Erik's gunpowder stash, he deserved it.

Beef is probably the most dramatic La Carlotta parallel to exist, and that's saying something. What in the Santa-looking heck was he wearing as a coat during his "I'm outta here" scene? Somebody Super Like You is absolutely delightful - until he started performing, that is.

Phoenix has a stunning voice and a certain something that just screams superstar.

I'm less impressed by Swan. I'm not acquainted to Paul Williams' works, so I'm speaking solely without context about his background. Personally, I don't think he has the devilish, vampiric quality I'd have liked to see in that role. That's the only letdown in the film, honestly.

Rambles about other POTO adaptations here!

Everything about this drawing makes me happy, but the detail that makes my Undead heart sing is the yellow-covered copy of Dracula. It's the 1897 edition, designed to evoke the appearance of the 'yellowback' - the cheap sensational fiction sold at railway stations at the time. Dr Watson was mentioned reading one in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. (Above is the miniature version I made for my haunted dollhouse.)

Cover me in sunshine...Shower me with good times

Tell me that the world's been spinning since the beginning....And everything will be alright

What can I say, my little nosferatu loves yellow. Get some sleep, Aurik.

watercolour and gouache with coloured pencil detailing, a little white ink for highlights.

Cleopatra (middle) makes her vampire partner Pierce (right) and his ex Alexander (left) watch Phantom of the Opera (1990).

To clarify, Pierce likes rats. In a completely normal way.

(All characters are from my WIP Gothic Tales from Melancholia)

(All my Phantom art here and here)

Remember when I talked about the good old-fashioned vampire-smiting method of sucking their gums? That's definitely what's going on here.

Also, Book Dracula and his Van Helsing:

In my defence, I have none. Very proud of how I drew Monster Dracula's face. Good bye.

Doomed by the narrative.

They doomed themselves and each other. They treated each other like monsters and believed themselves to be monsters.

The "monster or human" narrative is one of the central conflicts of the story. Were we made wrong, or did we lose our souls somewhere along the way? What happens when you believe you are a monster?

Before I worry anyone unduly, my well-being is, well, quite well. A reason I hesitate to post my writing is that I'm worried I'll make people concerned - yes, a lot of it is based on experience, but it's gothic fiction and I paint it darker than it is. Also, I have a gremlin in my brain that screams, "MAKE IT WEIRDER!" A weird imagination is the side effect of growing up feeding on novels, don't read too much into it.

Welp, I suppose we'll soon know just how weird it is, if I don't chicken out and actaully release the creepy lil creature into the internet.

Message in a bottle.

I wanted to get this in writing and throw it into the void. It's either this or try to have a Victor Frankenstein-esque breakdown, which will take too much time and effort. So. This is my monologue about my melancholia and spite. Into the void it goes.

One of my professors was talking about how they think dropping courses shouldn't be an option and went on to tell a long tale of their own perseverance, how you must do things you don't like to achieve in life, why giving up means you're not trying.

And I was sitting there thinking that if I don't make Great Achievements in the future, my story would be told as a lesson. 'She was a bright student, but she couldn't take pressure and dropped out. All that potential, wasted. So stick to the path we've given you and go through with it no matter how much we stack the odds against you and how much you hate it.'

The most ridiculous part? If I do achieve their idea of success, they'll be saying how great it is to be yourself and how their wonderful, inclusive, tolerant system gives you the resources to follow your dreams.

Sometimes, I wish I'm not too weak of mind to take the chances I've been given. I wonder if I'm not struggling, just too soft and too vain to to proper hard work.

Then I try to remember that that's not me talking. That's the voice of people who don't know me and don't try to, talking in my head. The times I've been squashed down, the times I had to make myself small to fit in - all that is real, and it hurt me. None of the people who tell me I'm doing well saw when I was breaking down right under their noses. It's time to go.

It's not easy to choose according to your own judgement, especially when that judgement goes against the values of the people around you. There will be people who support you, if you're lucky, but you will have nobody to follow. And that's frightening. I hope I'll have the strength to say, I'll have it no other way.

Pt 4. of Last Night at Vena Cava

Have a sketch of Victor. He features heavily in this new chapter:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63019435/chapters/162232942

A loud thud came from the forbidden attic, followed by the ear-splitting clanging of silverware falling to the ground. Someone was singing, a fine contralto voice delivering a musical stream of abuses aimed at bread pudding.

Also in this chapter: the mad wife in the attic.

As usual, please do leave feedback if you have any, I would appreciate it greatly!

I was making my characters miserable in my writing, and now I'm miserable (because of unrelated life things), so now I'm going to go back and wallow in said character's misery some more.

I'm sorry, Pierce, dear, I promise it will get better for us both.

Finished a(nother) draft of my writing and looked down to see my gingerbread vampire looking back at me like this:

Mr Pierce... Mr Pierce, what have you done? What do you know? Why are you looking like me that?

Well. Unless this little doofus has better ideas, Tale One is complete - that is to say, it has a beginning and an end and a relatively coherent plot in between. That's a victory for me!

I have to delete so much stuff... too many long talking scenes about the meaning of life and such. I don't know how it happened, and I'm eager for it to un-happen.

For the OC and creator ask game😁🥰

2,4,5,8,13,15,17,20,27,30

A,B,D

Have a safe, fun New Year's Eve,and may this new year be one of many blessings and all things good for you and your loved ones!!!

Oh my, thank you for asking! Questions are from this ask game. Lots of good ones here!

2. How easy is it to make them laugh? Pierce and Cleopatra are a pair of clowns at a funeral. They laugh easily, joke weirdly, and fill my carefully crafted gothic atmosphere with too much comedy. Sarah laughs at people's misfortune. Especially when it's Pierce.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust? Pierce trusts on instinct; luckily, it usually works, and he has a gaurd dog (Sarah). Cleopatra holds people at arms length, but she's so outwardly sweet that it's hard to tell. Earning Sarah's trust would take a lifetime, and you'd probably be wasting your time.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust? You'd have to do something really horrible to Pierce's Undead heart to earn his mistrust. Cleopatra, fairly easily, but she gives second chances. You have Sarah's mistrust by default.

8. What are they told to stop doing as a child? Little Pierce brought home creatures and friends that he begged to keep but were probably no good for him. When he was older, he had to be told to stop squandering the family fortune. Little Cleopatra had to be removed from her room to be introduced to human company. Little Sarah bit people, swore a lot and terrorised her governesses.

13. Oh, this is a good one! The trio dress according to the three Gothic colours, red white and black. Pierce wears white and pale colours, signifying his role as the 'innocent.' Cleopatra wears red, vitality and passion. Sarah dresses in black, Doom and Gloom and severity.

15. How do they speak? Pierce is equally fluent in eloquent flirting, undignified emotional monologues and spontanious yapping. Cleopatra changes her style according to who she's talking to and what she thinks they expect of her. Sarah has two gears: swearing and death-threats or cold politeness with discreet sarcasm.

17. Are they easily embarrassed? Pierce gets flustered when he meets someone as good at innuendo as him. Cleopatra used to be self-conscious, but not anymore. Sarah is proud, she reacts badly to being demeaned.

20. How would they explain the difference between familial, platonic, and romantic love?Pierce would say platonic and romantic loves are chosen, but familial love isn't, and the difference between platonic love and romantic love is that with romantic love, there's the desire to become part of that person and have a part of them inside you (metaphorically... I think he knows how that sounds). Cleopatra would say the difference is the places they hold in your life and that many kinds of love can't be pinned down. Sarah believes any kind of love is an obligation.

27. What causes them to feel dread? Pierce: when people fall out of love with him. Cleopatra: the sense of being worthless, helpless or purposeless. Sarah: she'd be the last to say so, but she has a fear for anything that cause her physical or emotional harm.

30. Who do they most regret meeting? Pierce can't really wrap his little brain around regret, but he does have many of them. Deep down, he regrets meeting the vampire who made him a vampire. Sarah and Cleopatra both regret meeting Pierce at some point.

A. Are you excited about your oc(s)? Yes. I write about them every day. They don't always give me an easy time, but I love it.

B. What inspired you to create them? Pierce was originally just a happy vampire, but then I started basing him on Dorian Gray, and then I realised that he has a lot of me in him. Cleopatra has a lot of my own traits. Sarah was based on the actress Sarah Bernhardt in the beginning, but now she's a completely different character and only her name, appearances and sass are the same.

D. Have their physical appearance changed? Pierce was once tall. It gave me a shock to read my description of his tallness in earlier drafts. Sarah's dress and hair changed when I changed her backstory. Cleopatra is unchanged, except that I decided that her hair isn't naturally ginger.

If you've come so far, thank you for reading all this! And I wish you and your family a happy New Year as well, all the best with everything!