Why Is Daroga So Fat

I've read very few romance books because it's bad for my health. I swear it makes that one happy braincell in my brain start wheezing and sputtering for dear life.

One thing that gets my goat is those female leads who are trying to hard to be weird. The author wants them to be 'just a girl' but also 'not like other girls.' The love interest from It Ends With Us used that exact words 'You're not like the other girls' many times.

Author, that is a painfully normal - I won't say boring but oh look I just did - human being.

The message these romances are trying to send is: 'You can be weird and still get noticed by a tall, dark and handsome man with a high income (that last point is just coincidence because we don't care about money)!' But the message I'm receiving is: 'You can be weird in a conventionally understandable and acceptable way and still get noticed by...'

Because all of the 'weird' leads are exactly like the people around me who I never fit in with. So if THEY'RE weird, what does that make me? Frankenstein's Monster?

(This is not me comparing myself to the expectations set by the romance genre. This is me saying its portrayal of people is skewered.)

I challenge romance authors to be locked in a Gothic castle cellar with me. They won't use the phrase 'not like other girls' lightly after that.

Time to return to vampires and gloomy fog, I need a pick-me-up. Dracula, my friend, is it Zoo Theft today or Stupid Sunhat Day?

I made a Nosferatu. And gave her the coolest boots my mind can concieve of. What should I name her? Give me your most unhinged ideas.

(This is where the tin foil in my kitchen goes. The thumb is full of the stuff.)

More felting crafts: @vladimirsangel 's OC Innocent and his vampire chicken. (I do make things other than little menaces. I swear.)

A Christmas Carol, but Scrooge is dead.

Requested and inspired by @blackforrestpunk in this post. Something concerning the cat Ayesha and Chistine has also been requested, but I haven't got around to that yet.

I used to hate Dickens, and now I find him tolerable at best, but his style gives me allowance to ramble in archaic language, so I'm not complaining. This is honestly not that far from my usual writing style, so I've already clunked out part 2 and 3, if the readers are interested.

What's the tea? (News!)

Ko-fi

25% discount off Purrlock Holmes Books's Commissions

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Good morrow!

Here, I get up to shenanigans with fellow artists, review and ramble, post my writing, crafts and PoTO art because reasons.

My main blogs:

Book/history blog: @purrlockholmesbooksblog

Main art blog: @purrlockholmesbooks

My Gothic literature fanfic Gothic Tales from Melancholia is on AO3

The illustrated t-shirt does exist.

What I welcome in my ask box:

-Art requests are always welcome! I mainly draw, but will also get (hand)crafty if you have good, or unhinged, ideas.

-Asks about drawings, writing, OCs and projects.

-Asks for opinions/reviews of books, films, etc. I love researching and jabbering about my findings.

-Personal questions that won't help any unsavoury individuals to find me in real life (i.e., by all means ask me about my existential crises, but not about my nationality).

Aggressive, gothic-scenery music is what's keeping me going right now.

Have a London after Midnight cat whacking at you with a guitar. It's part of a drawing collage I failed to finish, but funnily enough, now that I'm in a bad mood, I want to pick it up again. Do you want to see the whole thing?

Aauughh, it'sforthehampsterthatI'mgonnabuy!

That one clip from Life on the Murder Scene keeps looping in my head, so here is My Chemical Hamsters.

I know I'm late to every party and fandom, but I come bearing silly lil guys

I just want to say how much I adore and love the way you draw your cats. And how much I adore YOUR phantom cats.

And Cherik. I love your Cherik! AAAAAAAAAA

May I perchance hold your Cherik please?🥺🙏

Here you go! Please take Kitty Cherik out sparingly, he likes peace and quiet. Picnics in woods are very welcome, though.

Would you people like to hold Cherik? If you send an ask with a photo, I can give you a Cherik to hold like I did above (you can see why I complain about short sleeves now, haha)

Thank you so much for this lovely ask!

Elf Vampire

Well... that's one way of evading the vampire hunters. Pierce is not beating the Christmas Elf allegations.

In spite of his delightful personality, he does have some bad vampire tendencies. Stalking and hiding in high places, for example.

At the moment, I'm putting him through some pain in my book (complicated backstory comes back to bite him in the behind), so let him have some fun.

if you can , can you make book percy jackson and annabeth chase meeting the new show percy and annabeth , or if that is to hard Nico de angelo

Hi there! That was actually harder than I imagined! I only read the first book as a kid and forgot nearly everything except for the blue hotdogs. I hope you like them!

~Art requests in asks and comms on kofi open~

Idea by @blackforrestpunk art by @vladimirsangel and angry floof by me.

(L-R Aiden's OC Punk Erik, Vlad's Aurik and my Pierce.)

Sorry to hear the germs got you, I hope you get them back. Have a Chickula.

I made him before I made Innocent. Believe it or not, he was harder to make. He keeps judging my life choices so I didn't finish him, but well, I hope that was entertaining. How entertained do you want to be? Because, like the entertainment industry in general, I am absolutely capable of becoming a menace.

-An imaginary human living in your phone

IS THERE NO END TO YOUR TALENTS??

Count Chickula: Vere is my tail, @purrlockswatson? My majestic vampire feathery tail?

tsk these judgy undead poultry