Overheard My Last Two Braincells Talking. Decided They Sounded Like These Two. The Daroga Should Get

How's the writing going, you say?

I was typing out my novel on my phone, looked up, and saw this. To clarify, I meant satin-LINED cavity, describing a casket.

Well, I hit my head on a toilet water tank today, so I can't expect myself to act rationally.

The story is about a vampire opera house. I played with the idea of adding Erik into it, but I didn't expect him to pop up out of nowhere to give one of my characters a house tour.

I think he wants to kill the vampires now, and I don't know what to do. How little control I actually have over my writing never fails to surprise me.

(More gremlin sphynx cat Erik here, fancy hat cowboy Phantom here)

Thank you, @greenfinchwriter , for tagging me in this tag game! I know we're supposed to reblog, but I can't hide long posts when they're shown on the "my posts" tab and that sometimes gets my goat, so I hope it's all right if I make a separate post!

Last TV show: Arcane

Last movie: Hammer's Dracula... I think? I've completely lost all sense of time.

Last book: A vampire romance in which the vampire, I kid you not, conjures cheesecakes.

Last thing I searched: Just checked. It's "bub meaning." I wish I could say it's "Sherlock Harpoon," but that was this morning.

Sweet/savoury/spicy: You are asking the gremlin who puts sugar in soup. Sweet.

Relationship status: extremely occupied with matchmaking my original characters.

Favourite drink: Cocoa, tea, soup, blood

Songs playing 24/7: "Judas" by Lady Gaga, "Love me normally" by Will Wood

Current favourite character: Van Helsing and Mina Harker (specifically from the Dracula book)

Fun activities I wish to get into: I want to try animating softwares, but it'll have to wait until I have a computer again. My antique PC is sadly ignoring me.

Last video game: Good grief, this ancient Undead hasn't played one in ages. Probably the Halloween game on Google Doodles?

Anyway, I drew Sherlock with a harpoon ages ago.

Oh, yes, I forgot to tag! @frommarshtheycome @windforkthewriter @t4z-0n-p4wz @whyisthereacentaur

I've read very few romance books because it's bad for my health. I swear it makes that one happy braincell in my brain start wheezing and sputtering for dear life.

One thing that gets my goat is those female leads who are trying to hard to be weird. The author wants them to be 'just a girl' but also 'not like other girls.' The love interest from It Ends With Us used that exact words 'You're not like the other girls' many times.

Author, that is a painfully normal - I won't say boring but oh look I just did - human being.

The message these romances are trying to send is: 'You can be weird and still get noticed by a tall, dark and handsome man with a high income (that last point is just coincidence because we don't care about money)!' But the message I'm receiving is: 'You can be weird in a conventionally understandable and acceptable way and still get noticed by...'

Because all of the 'weird' leads are exactly like the people around me who I never fit in with. So if THEY'RE weird, what does that make me? Frankenstein's Monster?

(This is not me comparing myself to the expectations set by the romance genre. This is me saying its portrayal of people is skewered.)

I challenge romance authors to be locked in a Gothic castle cellar with me. They won't use the phrase 'not like other girls' lightly after that.

Time to return to vampires and gloomy fog, I need a pick-me-up. Dracula, my friend, is it Zoo Theft today or Stupid Sunhat Day?

C'est le 💅🏻Fantôme💅🏻

I’m reading the Le Fantôme de L'Ôpéra. Here are some highlights of my Kindle highlights:

The correct translation is actually something like 'she was reading a book with gold edging,' tranche meaning both 'edge (of a book)' and 'rasher (of bacon.)'

(As a walking, talking dictionary, I am morally obliged to mention that the translation is actually ‘dandies’ not 'gentlemen.')

You can probably guess that the last word means ‘unmask.’ And we all know how well that goes down with Erik.

Poor Persian, though.

This segment was cut out of De Mattos's English translation, so I don't have an explanation for this. (See replies for Vlad's traslation!)

Being a Goth has really improved my French. First I kept writing French captions for my Interview with the Vampurr comics (examples here and here), and now I'm reading a French classic despite only understanding around 1 word in 5.

What are your "Oh no, if people I know read this, they'll be concerned," writing projects?

I don't often talk about these original characters, Lolly and Stephen Wargrave, since their story is quite twisted and hard to make into funny posts. Well, I had the urge to cattify them today, and it's sort of funny, so here they are.

These gory weirdos are brainrotting me now, so maybe I'll blab about them again soon.

Pierce, pre-vampire turning, had many vices. Repressed memories, drowned in naïvety and substance abuse, is the darker side to his story.

However, in this latest short and silly (by my standards, at least) chapter, he's all chaos kitten, enjoy it while you can!

Part 5 of Last Night at Vena Cava:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63019435/chapters/163719073

(As always, please give me feedback - comment, DM, send asks - I'd love to hear whatever you have to say or ask!)

When I say I'm leaving you an inheritance of vampire jewellery, this is what I mean

Feed your vampire before you... frappé... them

Don't like frappuchinos? Have a juice box

I have also made fang rings, bat earrings, and a muscle bunny armour pendant. Oh, can't forget the nosferatu bag. I think being subtle about my preferences might not be my strong suit.

I love you in every universe? No such luck for Joseph Buquet.

Moment of appreciation for the chibis.

Who is the silliest chibi? Most voted chibi gets a Treat.

More POTO cats here!

Characters from The Phantom of the Parachute, or something

(Why, hello, it's my weird sense of humour again!)

A vampire t-shirt I'm working on. The transfer paper won't unstick, so I've got to slowly scrub it off, but I managed to save Mr Pierce here.

Two tomato nosferatus are currently being excavated. They're mildly horrified.

I can't put the print in my shops because most of it is cheeky screenshots from Pinterest, but I'll post the results when I manage to salvage it