TELL ME THIS ISN'T THE BEST THING YOU'VE SEEN ALL WEEK, I DARE YOU

I don’t know how to express how much I FEEL for Kenny because all he wants to do is play extreme guess who? with pictures of potential assassins and get to say [hacker voice] “I’m in” every once in a while but Eve’s queer ass keeps dragging him in the middle of her 60 min long winded [STORYTIME: I STABBED MY GF???: NOT CLICKBAIT] YouTube video that is her life meanwhile his mother is actively infiltrating Russian intelligence by getting her spussy (spy pussy) ate and the girl he has a crush on would LOVE to be infiltrated by Carolyn and the boy gets no mf rest… get him some tea please

"fuck you my child is fine!" Ma'am your daughter listens to nirvana and punk rock to chill

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

"we're not even trending and chicken strip is trending" radiates big "i dont have enough money for chicken nuggets" vibe

Feel free to ask <3

weird asks

Where do you stand on lotion: yay or nay? Why?

What’s the average length of a shower for you? A bath?

What’s something you regret buying, but you just can’t get rid of it?

What villain do you believe is most worthy of a redemption arc?

What was your favorite school project you ever made?

What role do you take on when you have to do a group project? (for example: leader, delegator, slacker, etc.)

What’s a funny mistake you’ve made recently?

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid?

What were you almost named as a baby?

What book have you been avoiding reading and why?

Favorite head phone brand?

Favorite scent?

Favorite idiom?

How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you?

What is always in your wallet that doesn’t need to be?

How big is too big for a wallet?

What class did you write the best notes in? What grade did you get?

What was your pet peeve when you had a substitute teacher in school?

 What is a strange red flag you have when pursuing a relationship?

What do you look for in someone’s online dating profile?

How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about?

What do you NOT want on your tombstone?

How many couches do you want in your residence?

What is the strangest website you have bookmarked?

What is your typical number of windows/tabs open on your computer?

How often do you restart your computer? Your phone?

Do you follow the expiration date on food?

What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child?

What fish scares you the most?

How do you feel about snails?

This is not what i expected but i am not disappointed

John: Why can't you just admit you made a mistake!

Sherlock: because I don't make mistakes...Also, I like putting salt on my tea, thank you very much.

Quarantine mood is watching Netflix constantly until you start finding reference from one show in another.

For example, this happened to me today:

Me: *watching threat level midnight*

Michael: "my name is Michael Scarn and I'm here to say, I'm about to do the Scarn in a major way"

Me: *salutes* major way

This is like the exact subtext of sherlock

I made an A.I. bot remake Sherlock: A Study in Pink.

Here’s the result.

Best thing that happened to me all week:

I played a 5sos song and two of my friends said "i love this band!"

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF CALM!!