#dnf

Fellowship Shenanigans Pt 1.

Happy Birthday

Merry, to Pippin: Well you’re the youngest one here so behave!

Pippin: Fine…

Boromir, to Pippin, of Merry: Is he much your senior?

Pippin, grumpy: Eight years.

Boromir: huh.

Merry: Pippin here isn’t even of age. It’s a wonder they let you come at all!

Boromir, to Pippin: Wait what!? How old are you?

Pippin: 29 next birthday.

Boromir: 29?! Why, half our army is of such an age!

Merry, Pippin: WHAT??

Sam: Quiet down you three.

Frodo: What’s going on?

Merry, pointing at Boromir: His people send children into battle!

Boromir: They’re hardly children! At 29 a man is well and truly his own.

Sam: That’s barbaric!

Frodo: They come of age at 29 in your city?

Boromir: Goodness no! A man comes of age at 16, he-

All the Hobbits: WHAT!?!

Everyone starts talking at once.

Aragorn: What on earth is going on here??

Sam: begging your pardon, Strider sir, only Boromir here says his people send their children off to battle at 16!

Boromir: As is standard practice in the world of men!

Aragorn, to the Hobbits: My friends, not all races age alike, at 16 a Man is as mature as a Hobbit is at 33. There is nothing barbaric about it.

Boromir: You come of age at 33?

Merry: Of course we do!

Boromir: So how old are the rest of you?

Merry: I am 37, Sam is 39, and Frodo is 51.

Frodo: As was Bilbo when he set out on his journey.

Boromir: You’re older than ME???

Pippin, to Boromir: How old are you?

Boromir: Forty one.

Merry: Oh, I supposed you were a great deal older, as you're so tall.

Pippin: Does that make Frodo the oldest of us?

Aragorn: Not at all, master Peregrine, think you are forgetting we have an elf in our company.

Pippin: Oh yeah! Mr Legolas!

Gimli, to Pippin, about Legolas: Don’t encourage him.

Legolas: What?

Pippin: How old are you?

Boromir: The halflings have made a game of figuring out the ages of the company.

Legolas: I am 8945.

Hobbits: Wow…

Aragorn: Absolutely not. *to the Hobbits* He’s messing with you. Not even Elrond is 8945. Legolas…

Legolas: 7598.

Aragorn: Younger than that.

Legolas: 290.

Aragorn: Older than that.

Legolas: 78.

Aragorn: And you definitely aren’t younger than me.

Boromir: What-?

Legolas: 2749

Aragorn: Now that sounds about right.

Pippin: How old is Gandalf?

Gimli, joining the fun: Beats me.

Aragorn: If we get into that we’ll be here all night.

Legolas: *opens his mouth as if to say something*

Gimli, to Legolas: I swear, if you start singing again--

Boromir, to Aragorn: How old did you say you were???

Pippin: Gandalf!!!

Merry: How old are you, Gimli?

Gimli: 140.

Pippin: Woah.

Gimli: And as for Gandalf, my father’s father knew Gandalf, and his father before him.

Merry and Pippin: Woah.

Legolas snorts.

Legolas: My father’s father knew Gandalf, and his father before him.

Merry and Pippin: Woah.

Gimli, of Legolas, under his breath: Bloody show off.

Boromir, to Aragorn: I’m sorry, I think I misheard-

Merry: So we have 29, 37, 38, 41, 51, 140, two thousand and…?

Legolas: 2532.

Aragorn: Legolas for the love of-

Merry: What about you, Strider?

Aragorn: I am 81 as of now. But you lot are giving me grey hairs. Pippin, put that down.

Boromir, to Aragorn: Ok now you’re messing with us.

Everyone looks at him like he’s talking nonsense. Including Pippin, who is still holding the sword.

Boromir, to Aragorn: You can’t be eighty!

Pippin: Why can’t he?

Boromir: At eighty a man looks more akin to Gandalf than your friend.

Aragorn: The race of Numenor commands a longer lifespan than that of Men today. Pippin!

Boromir: Oh.

Pippin: Fine. *stops poking the fire with sword*

Merry: Awesome.

Frodo to Aragorn: That explains a lot.

Pippin: GANDALF ARE YOU EIGHTY!?

Aragorn: Pippin for crying out loud-

Gandalf: Oh no, Master Took, I may be old, but I’m not ancient.

Pippin: wait so-

Aragorn to Pippin, of Gandalf: He’s messing with you.

Pippin: So how old is he?

Aragorn: *shrugs* It depends on where you start counting.

Frodo: When a person is born?

Legolas starts laughing, he takes a breath as if to start singing-

Gimli: La-di-dah! La-di-la-di-da!

Legolas glares at him.

Aragorn: Can you two not be at each other's throats for five minutes? Gandalf-

Gandalf: Don’t look at me! I’ve had more than my share of wrangling Dwarfs and Elves.

Pippin: Are you a billion years old, Gandalf?

Boromir: Just when you think that nothing would surprise you…

Merry: It would be cool to be an Elf.

Literally Everyone else, including Legolas: You do NOT want to be an Elf.

Merry: Why not?

There is a pause, no one knows where to start, and they all have VASTLY different reasons for their verdict.

Aragorn: If we get into that, Master Meriadoc, we'll be here not only all night, but for the better part of a year.

There are so many different shades of white light bulbs, I am so overwhelmed walking down the light bulb aisle, and then I'm never happy with the one I choose, no matter which one I choose, I get it home and I put it in and I'm like, ugh, I don't like THAT white

I like to think that every few gatherings there’s an ‘incident’.

The rangers are doin their thing, competing with each other on who can be the most stealthy and shit. One ranger manages to sneak up behind another so silently that when the other ranger does notice them, they’re caught horribly off guard. Their training kicks in and they punch the other guy in the jaw. Hard. Over the course of Araluen history, multiple rangers ended up concussed from this exact sequence of events.

Multiple commandants have tried and failed to keep this from happening each gathering. It becomes a running gag, some even taking bets as to who will get socked in the face.

Reblog if you think asexuality is a real thing that actually exists.

I'm trying to prove something.

❗️Nevada voters - this is going to sound weird, but PICK UP YOUR PHONE if an unknown number calls.

**Lots of signatures on ballots are not matching and your ballot may need to be fixed.

TLDR; yes, signature matching is an antiquated way to verify ballots but it is still being used. Reportedly thousands of ballots here need to be cured. Answer the phone!

alternate caption: HE THOUGHT THE GRIMWALKERS AND CALEB SHARED ONE SOUL AND SO COULD NOT UNIONIZE TO HAUNT HIM!!!!!!!

Just a psa for fic writers who use the “trauma bond” tag, please make sure you’re using it correctly. A trauma bond is not two people who experience similar trauma and bond over it. It’s a carefully curated, manipulative bond between abuser and victim to keep the victim coming back because of the addictive highs and lows that come with abuse.

If you want to tag two characters bonding over shared trauma, a good substitute tag would be “bonding over shared trauma.” Trauma bonding is, by definition, an abusive relationship and may steer people who have experienced it away from your fic. Please spread the word and happy writing!

Today I realized

Dum-E is just another way to say dummie. Tony Stark named him Dum-E because the robot did dumb things.