Puppycrime - Awful Catboy Bastard

the subtext of dio is so funny like hes never explicitly hilarious but he just lounges around his mansion fucking feeding and looking sexy just in case his grandnephew checks in on him and he has a pet falcon

“why do you like this character you do know that if they existed they’d just try to kill you right” actually no they’d fall madly in love with me

childe’s ❝night terrors❞

❏ plot: you get an eerie feeling he’s been looking forward to this. humor, fluff, minor angst, fake dating au. based off this prompt.

❐ pairing: childe | tartaglia x gender neutral!reader.

❐ words: 2.9k.

❏ warnings: none!

It’s been a long day. You’ve followed Childe everywhere: from the mountaintops of Snezhnaya to the hillsides of Liyue and finally, finally, you’re getting some rest for the night.

“There’s only one bed.” But there’s only one bed.

Childe looks completely unbothered despite the look of exhaustion in his smile. He tosses his bag on the foot of the lone bed, puts his hands on his hips, and turns to you with a gleam, “We are a couple.”

“No, we’re not,” you’d had to say that multiple times today, more than you ever expected you’d need to, “now hand me a Mora so we can flip for who gets it.”

Keep reading

YEAH YEAH YEAH

seeing normally composed characters just... snap and lose it.... that’s the good shit  😳✋ many thoughts..

the escaping one skfskdfjgdsf. i love when the powerful character tries to be all protective but the civilian character just.... does not need it. they might not be strong but they have other work-arounds. esp if it’s something totally mundane or a weird talent they developed??? idk i like when the ‘weaker’/normal one is still totally independent

*they’re in hiding after being chased* “i’m wounded; you have to escape! run! i can’t protect you..” “no, trust me i got this-” *whistles and the enemy runs in the opposite direction* “what.. how did you do that?” “i learned ventriloquism for a talent show in 3rd grade”

Anyone else have an unpopular love for "powerful character x civilian reader"?

It's just

So soft cmon

- ein

okay but imagine FIXING Xiao's smudged eyeliner

"let me help you." You chuckle, ushering him to the small stool after getting a kick out of watching him try to apply the red lines under his eyes.

Begrudgingly, he complies and, as you stand between his legs, lift his chin so his face is illuminated by the sunlight, he takes notice of you. Hes done it numerous times but watching you, feeling your hand underneath his neck and knowing you will always touch him with kindness makes his agitation ease.

Your so close, your lips slightly part as you focus and, carefully, you draw the brush underneath his eyes. The cold liquid makes him feel alive, and the heat from your proximity makes him feel safe.

"There, much better." You stand up straight and press your fists into your hips. With a nod, you walk away to return the makeup to it's proper place while he watches you intently.

You find that he asks you to help him again and again, and with each time, you get a bit closer.

Kaeya: I made tea.

Diluc: I don’t want tea.

Kaeya: I didn’t make you tea. This is my tea.

Diluc: Then why did you tell me?

Kaeya: It’s a conversation starter.

Diluc: It’s a horrible conversation starter.

Kaeya: Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

can i get your thots on ❣️💓😆🎉 for zhongli & kaeya? that list is so cute djhfskd. also im glad you're having fun at pride, thats so cool !!

Emoji Prompts: ❣️💓😆🎉 (Kaeya&Zhongli)

Kaeya:

❣️ What makes them blush/gets their heart pounding?

Whenever you innocently react to whatever innuendo he's made. Honestly, the way you laugh at what he's said and just look at him with those shining eyes of yours, he can't help but get warm. You've had your fair of troubles and challenges, yet so untouched by the wear and tear of life at the same time. To have someone so pure by his side always manages to get his pulse to go up.

💓 How do they act when they realize they’re in love/have a crush?

He gets a lot more direct with his approach. He's very open with his feelings for you. Once he figures out the way he feels towards you, he'll immediately and seriously ask you out. Whether or not you think he's joking is up to you.

😆 How do they make their s/o laugh?

Gossip. Harmless gossip he makes always makes you laugh. You'll be walking through Mondstadt and he'll lean in close to your ear andmention how Miss Nancy, the local granny, totally smuggled some of her flowers into the city. So illegal. How scandelous. Or he'll just indirectly and/or directly insult his adoptive brother. How he whole asses his insults always make you laugh in both amusement and shock.

🎉 Are they a fan of nicknames? Do they prefer cutesy, traditional or silly ones?

Honestly, does this man even know your name? All these nicknames are suspicious. Those prissy nicknames are his signature move. Darling, dearest, my love, and doll are all fair game with him.

Zhongli:

❣️ What makes them blush/gets their heart pounding?

Knowledge. Whenever his partner ever exposes just how deep their intellect goes, he gets impressed, proud, and swoons all at the same time. And if it's a topic you're passionate about, the way your face lights up and how you spew out facts left and right always get his blood pumping. You look so happy when talking about it, he can't help but get happy too.

💓 How do they act when they realize they’re in love/have a crush?

He's been around for a very long time. No doubt he's adapted the ability to have incredible control over his actions. The way he shows his pining affections is subtle. You'll find that you'll have a cup of tea prepared for you when you arrive, items of convenience always in his possession just when you need it, even gifts handed to you. He just saw something in a vendor while taking a walk and miraculously happened to have enough mora on hand. No biggie. Yes biggie

😆 How do they make their s/o laugh?

Very dry humor. He'll seemingly start one of his stories but then end up making an awful dad joke. But the cringe makes you laugh. And the sheer look of pride on his face when you laugh only makes you laugh harder.

🎉 Are they a fan of nicknames? Do they prefer cutesy, traditional or silly ones?

He doesn't use them often, really only uses them in privacy as well. And gentleman and nonbino's this man's country is seeping with tradition. He's going to pull out all the show stoppers. Dear, darling, love, all of em. However, Zhongli does enjoy privacy and rarely uses them in public. However, he enjoys your name above all and prefers that most of the time.

dio’s fuckhouswe

Hello, I hope you're doing great! ^^ Could I request a Kaeya x male Reader, where the reader is a thief and Kaeya cathes him and teaches him a lesson (nsfw)

A/n: I live for this shit. This is...kind of kinky so.. & I wrote this at 4am. Listening to: Throat babyyyyyy

Mentions: Blowjobs, Denial, Teasing... blowjobs.

Warnings: Nsfw Face fucking at its finest, A very dominant Kaeya.

The King of Thieves

Kaeya left Angel’s Share for the night. Dark cheeks tinted a dusty deep red from a night of indulgence. Diluc was there, tending the bar coincidentally.

“There have been a plethora of incidents revolving around thieves as of late. I suggest you be mindful when leaving for the night Kaeya.”

His younger brother’s light warning drifted back into the depths of his mind as he strolled the nearly vacant streets of Monstadt’s city. Of course, on his way back to headquarters; the Knight took the long way around. Cutting through a specific alleyway that lead to a patch of grassy plains above a stone stair case. Out the corner of his eye he saw a shadow zip by and over the short roof top of someone’s home. As he moved to take a precautionary step backwards the shadow figure landed behind him. Assuming Kaeya was drunk enough to one up, the figure moved in to grab Kaeya’s shoulder in efforts to flip him onto his back and steal his vision. Kaeya, in a rebuttal too quick for this thief’s skill set. Side stepped and ducked, only to elbow his assailant in the chest cavity and then reappear behind them with his sword drawn.

“Why is Diluc always right?” Kaeya sighed, a frown on his face as he stared at the person in front of him, whom he had knocked the wind right out of. He wasn’t sure who the person was, given they were covered from head fo toe in all black. When Kaeya saw that they were recovering he twirled his sword, knocking them unconscious with the hilt of his blade. When the thief dropped, Kaeya looked down at them. He moved to uncover their face and saw a young man. He saw, you? His eye went wide, you were not much older than Diluc. The young Knight couldn’t help but think it was a shame to see such wasted potential resort to something of a scoundrel at best. He threw your arm over his shoulder, picking you up with a deep exhale. Effortlessly carrying you off back to one of the empty confinement cells within the knights headquarters. The one he picked out had been out of use for quite some time, given Klee had blown it up rendering the cell unlivable (for her). — It was a perfect place for a thief, especially one that tried to steal his vision.

Kaeya sat on the edge of a small table in the corner of the room, arms crossed and a light frown on his face. He waited until you had come through and regained consciousness. In a panic, your dark eyes darted across the room. Something Kaeya found quite amusing.

“Where..am I?” You huffed out, there was a draft in the room and you visibly shivered. Kaeya stayed seated looking at you.

“In the Knights of Favonius’ HQ, a confinement cell to be more precise.” He replied nonchalantly and as you tried to move, chains rattled against your wrists and ankles.

“Let me out of here, else you’ll be sorry—“

You were cut off by Kaeya’s abrupt laugh, it made you frown and your brow crease. “What’s so fuckin’ funny?” Kaeya’s chuckle faded into a sigh, his finger tapping idly on the bicep of his crossed arms.

“Nothing, it’s just you are in no position to talk. In fact, I bet if I did away with you right here I could get away with it.” His smile may have been playful but his eye hinted at something much darker.

“You.. can’t do that, you’re an honor bound knight it would be a disgrace—“ Kaeya smiled, this time it wasn’t playful but it still held amusement.

“Relax I’m not a barbarian. Why don’t you tell me why you tried to rob me in the middle of an alleyway and most interestingly... try to take my vision.” After Kaeya stated his questions there was a stagnant silence that sat in the stale air of the confinement cell. Kaeya looked down at you, who shifted uncomfortably. “Oh? No answer? Are you sure that’s what you wish to do?” Your eyes drifted over to look up at Kaeya. Who moved from his spot on the table to walk towards you. In the dim light of the cell his features illuminated, it may have been the full moon that peeked through the barred window that made him look so appealing. The sound of his boots tapping down on the stone floors of the cell sent a slight chill down your spine. He towered over you as you sat on the floor. A light smirk threatened the corner of his lips, as he stared down at you with a quizzical eye. The air around him was cool and it seemed to get even colder as he knelt down to eye level. “I think I’ll give you until the count of say- three.” He held up three fingers before putting them down.

“What?”

“One.” He moved his hand behind your head almost as if he was cradling you. Unbeknownst to you his sword appeared in his palm. Your side profile reflected off the blade as it drew near your head. “Two.” His voice was deep and melodic and his tone evermore serious as he counted down. He wasn’t smiling anymore, seeing him this serious started giving you second thoughts about keeping your mouth shut. He was so close you could smell him, eye half lidded as he stared down at you and a crease in his brow. Against the back of your neck your hair brushed against the blade that dangerously kissed the skin of the nape of your neck. He leaned in and as he drew near, a light grin forming at his lips. Was he enjoying the reaction he was getting out of you? Or the interrogation process? Your hand pressed against his chest to try and move him back you couldn’t stand to have him that close. He paused for a split second, his eye dropping down to your hand, it was warm. “Thre-“

“Wait!” You say, your dark eyes shifting up to peer into his. Staring at him this closely, being able to smell him. It was hard not to think about the things you wanted him to do to you while sitting helpless on the cell floor. He was ridiculously attractive and equally as intimidating when he wished to be.

“Hm? Did you change your mind?” He asked, flashing a cold smile. Your cheeks flushed, he smelled like the first snow fall of winter, shamelessly it made blood rush to where you didn’t need it to. His eyes drifted down briefly before he looked at you more closely. “Or maybe you didn’t?” He purred lightly and a smile crossed his face again.

“I-I..I was just.. curious as to what it’s like to have a vision I don’t have one.” You spoke out, Kaeya didn’t sense a lie from you. Even as you continued to try and make him feel sorry for you. “I haven’t been blessed by the Archons. I’m poor and I...I can’t do much of anything let alone use a vision. Being a thief is all I’ve ever known. The only way I know to survive. I wasn’t going to hurt you.” His brow creased as you babbled that last part, you caught yourself and spoke sheepishly. “Not..that I could’ve anyway—“ Kaeya laughed again, he moved back but not very far. His sword disappeared in one swift movement and he took a minute to look at you. Your hands moved over to your lap, you didn’t think he noticed.

“What am I going to do with you hm?” He pondered aloud as he stood up, a hand resting on his hip. He stared down at you, “You assaulted me in an alleyway, tried to rob me and now..” You couldn’t help but think it wasn’t much of an assault, you were the one who got hit square in the chest and knocked unconscious after all.

“Kaeya-“

“And you know who I am? You’re quite the bold thief. Tell me if I let you go, how do I know you won’t do it again?” You shifted uncomfortably, nothing he was saying was arousing but, truthfully you fell victim to his charm the moment he began questioning you, not to mention the count down and intimidation attempt. Kaeya noticed, he was quite observant but he was doing his job- for the most part.

“I won’t.” You lied, he saw right through it. Kaeya crossed his arms again, if he felt any remorse for you before it was gone now. You avoided eye contact with him even as he stared down at you.

“Do you like being chained up in a cell, you’re excited.” He asked genuinely, his voice was soft and curious. It made you twitch uncomfortably. You shook your head and Kaeya tilted his. “Really? Your as hard as this stone floor, I wasn’t going to tease you about it but it only...fed into every words I’ve said to you thus far.” You could hear him smile, you made the mistake of looking up at him. He was gorgeous and the blush that crossed your face made his smile widen.

“I..can’t help how you’re making me feel. You’re just-“

“I’m just what?” He cut you off, moving his hand to rest on the top of your head. He gently ran his fingers through your hair with his gloved palm. Idly moving his hand down to the back of your head before gripping the ends of your hair between his fingers. “Were you going to say charming? Sexy, hot?” He asked, his grip on your hair wasn’t that tight or painful it aroused a light whimper to fall from your lips. Kaeya noticed your hand palming your growing erection — your pants were growing tighter you couldn’t help it. With his boot he kicked your hand away and stepped on the back of your hand, causing the restraints he had you in to rattle against the stone floor. “You did something bad why should you gain pleasure after committing a crime? As I see it I’m the victim here. You assaulted me in an alleyway.” His grin was wide and with his free hand he moved to unzip his pants. Immediately your mouth began to water as he slipped his hand inside to touch himself right before your very eyes.

“I-I won’t do it again..” You lied once again and he saw through it yet again. His grin only widened, he was going to enjoy this.

“I don’t believe you, therefore...” His grip tightened in your hair and he pulled your head back. “I think I’ll teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget.” The weight he had on your hand increased when he saw you try to move your other hand to slip inside your own pants, it was a warning not to try and relieve yourself. You moved your hand away with a whine as Kaeya freed himself from the tight confines of his trousers. His thick member prodded against your cheek before he let it rest on your lips. He let out a light and playful hum as he stared down at you, almost as if he was beckoning you to open your mouth.

“Kaeya I-“ As soon as you opened your mouth he pushed himself inside, the taste of his pre made you shudder and your eyes flutter. He held your hair and head firmly in place as he thrusted deeper into your mouth. He was genuinely surprised that you were able to take him all the way to the back of your throat.

“It’s not polite to speak with your mouth full.” He teased. “Go on, keep stuffing your face thief.” As you struggled to swallow his cock, you couldn’t stop your hand from reaching down to palm the hard tent in your pants. Kaeya caught wind of your actions and knocked your forearm to the side with his other boot. The deep groan you let out reverberated against his shaft, Kaeya had to bite back his own moan as he pulled your hair again which inevitably moved your head back so your lips wrapped around his tip. “If you do it again you’ll regret it.” He wasn’t smiling when he spoke, it was a threat you weren’t going to see through to the end. Kaeya chuckled lightly and moved his free hand down to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing sweetly against your cheekbone. “You’re so obedient...”

He mumbled, his touch was gentle as he moved his hands up to tangle in your hair. It was almost too gentle and had you questioning his motives. You made eye contact with him and a sly grin spread across his face like wildfire. Without warning his grip tightened to hold your head in place. He slammed hips against your face, bottoming out completely in the back of your tight throat. He groaned out quietly and under his breath, as the ridges of your throat and mouth constricted against his thick shaft. Your soft lips tickled the underside of the base of his cock. His pants sagged and his balls pressed against the stubble of your chin, which only edged him on and reflexively urged his hips to thrust against your face. He exhaled with a light chuckle that sifted through the quiet air of the confinement cell.

You whimpered, drooling all over his cock as you squeezed your eyes shut, it took everything in you not to milk and pump your shaft. Your balls were heavy and full and you ached for a release that you didn’t think you’d get. Kaeya looked down on you to subconsciously check to see if you were okay and to see the sight of his dick disappearing down your throat. He pulled back by a few centimeters and you successfully breathed in through your nose. The taste of his pre on your tongue reminded you of a fermented apple wine. None too surprising to say the least and all the more enjoyable.

Kaeya rutted into your mouth again, you choked and he chuckled. He felt your tongue swirl around his shaft against a prominent vein that curved up from the base of his cock. Your leg twitched in need as he moved, beginning a rough and steady rhythm. He noticed the bulge in your throat, it only made him move faster. Kaeya let out deep exhale and a light moan that was simply music to your ears. His head tilted back as you took him, he glanced down at you for a moment and his lips curled into a smile seeing you hard at work.

“If your mouth is this tight, I wonder how your ass must feel.” He teased you, moving one hand down to wipe away that inevitable tears that formed in your eyes. His other hand loosened in your hair but still rested in place idly. He pulled back completely, giving you a chance to breathe. As you caught your breath Kaeya looked down at you, the blush that stained your cheeks inflated his ego a bit. He arched a brow, waiting for you to keep going.

You gave into that cute, suggestive stare and moved your hand up to stroke him; something you wanted to do for yourself since he started fucking talking. You dragged your tongue along the thick length of his member before taking him into your mouth. What you didn’t choke down, you pumped with your hand. Kaeya finally let out a proper moan it was deep and breathy, he started throbbing in your mouth and palm; biting down on his lower lip in ecstasy. In the midst of milking him dry he took hold of your hair again, only to push himself right back down your throat, he needed that tight fit to finish him off. You were going to swallow it all, not that you minded; he was as inebriating as Everclear. As he filled your throat and mouth, he pulled back his warm cum dripping down your chin. He watched you reach up to wipe it away and lick the back of your hand.

His eye drifted down to your continually throbbing erection, he noticed a dark spot where your own pre had ruined your trousers. He stepped back and moved his hand away from your hair, shifting as he pulled his pants up only to zip them up. Your expression was absolutely priceless in his eyes. You opened your mouth to speak to find that your jaw was already sore from his earlier actions. Kaeya moved to sit on the edge of the table again with a light smile on his face.

“What?” He says like he didn’t just pump his seed down your throat. He made an ‘O’ with his mouth as he looked at your disheveled and needy appearance as if he had forgotten. He didn’t. He moved to toss you a key to the restraints you were in. “You’re free to go and...do something about that.” He smiled with a teasing glint in his eye, you looked at the key in front of you. Picking it up with a frown on your face as your freed yourself. “I told you I’d teach you lesson you wouldn’t forget.” He chuckled moving to cross his arms over his chest. You looked at him and he smirked.

“Asshole.” You mumbled, moving to stand up, Kaeya looked your way not feeling remorseful in the slightest.

“You do realize you tried to assault me and steal my vision. I think I let you off rather easy if you ask me. Going straight to Jean just didn’t feel right.” He quipped, and stood to walk over to the door opening it up for you to go. “I don’t want to see you here again, I’d rather the Cat’s Tail or Angel share preferably. Maybe then you’d get a proper..reward and the aftercare I so graciously give to those who listen.” He said, completely insinuating he wanted to see you again under the right circumstances. With a pout you exited the cell, there wasn’t really much you could say to that. You were indeed happy you didn’t have to spend the night in a dingy unlivable cell. Kaeya leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms. “Till we meet again King of Thieves.”

Bonus

A week went by, you were at Sara’s sitting down to a late night meal before heading off to Springvale for a few days to visit family. You poked at the fisherman’s toast you ordered, thinking about the Knight who left you thoroughly frustrated. You wanted to beat his ass in all honesty but, apart of you just wanted to—

“Well if it isn’t The King of Thieves.”

Hi hi hi!! I love your writing, I've been binging so much of BNHA fic accounts and you're one of my very favourites!! Could you possibly do a memelord reader and Bakugou who pretends not to understand what she's talking about and catches her off guard and makes her do a snort laugh?? I sometimes get surprised by my super todoroki-esque roommate and I have to hold my nose so I don't snort !! I love u! XXXX

I’m pretty sure I know who requested this and if I’m right, even if I’m wrong just know I love you because the concept of Bakugou with a bubbly jokey s/o is one of my favorites

Warnings: swearing

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader

 - Spending any amount of time near Kaminari you just kinda absorb meme knowledge regardless of if you want to or not 

- So naturally Bakugou knows exactly what she’s going on about

- She doesn’t need to know he knows though 

- It’s way funnier to watch her pout when he stares at her with a blank face before walking away 

- She’ll follow him around while complaining about how that last reference was funny and he has no taste 

- “Come on! That one was gold!” “The only thing that was, was complete bul-” “Tsuki!”

- No one is sure how they get along so well 

- Like you’d think he’d find her constant references and insistence that he look at the new meme she’s found/made would annoy him

- But no, he actually thinks it’s really cute 

- She gets excited and bounces around with this goofy little grin

- It’s just really adorable and he doesn’t know how to deal with it so he doesn't 

- There are times when he comes close to slipping up, so he literally just runs off

- She has pretty good sense of humor and decent taste, at least better than Kaminari’s

- Not that he’d ever willingly tell her that 

- He’d rather die than admit he likes her stupid memes

- Although there was this one time, he slipped up 

- She was upset about something he did 

- “Katsu, Baby I love you but I’m this close to killing you” “You can’t kill me I’m a bad bitch”

- He hadn’t even thought about it before he said it, it just came out 

- He was mortified for a minute but then she snorted at him

- Fucking snorted 

- Fuck that’s cute 

- He made an effort to make her laugh like that again afterwards 

- Will only do it when it’s just them much to her confusion 

- “Katsuki, why do you only make jokes like that when we’re alone?” “No one will believe you this way” “Katsuki what the fuck?”