I'm Old Baldy

The T in James T. Kirk stands for “Titties out”

i'm something between pineapple and doolittle

i know someone already made one of these but here’s my contribution

tag urself i’m pineapple

The unholy trinity doing their thing 🔥🔥

aaAUUGH ssssʜɪᴛ! god ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘ dammit ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵐᵉˢˢᶦⁿᵍ ₑₐₛᵧ  ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵒʳˢᵉᵎ move it! ｇｏｄｄａｍｍｉｔ！𝑜𝑜𝓅𝓈 careful… ᴇᴀsʏ! ₛₒᵣᵣᵧ. what was that, ＣＨＲＩＳＴhuh? ＡＬＩＩＩＶＥ．hey! ᴹᶦᶜᵃʰ. watch it!

Sagittarius is bullshit

No I'm not shitting on your horoscope I'm talking about the constellation Sagittarius. It is not valid and I want to fight whoever said this thing looked like a damn centaur.

Ok, I should probably provide context for my sudden hatred of the sky. So where I live you can't really see Scorpio, Sagittarius or Libra. You know, those guys. Now, I'm on vacation in a spot with very little light pollution and wide open skies, so I decided to star gaze (like you do). Of course, I work my way across the night sky and pretty excited to see some of the constellations I haven't seen irl before. Scorpio was nice, Hercules is a mess but hey I can't blame him, and Libra didn't disappoint. Then I see a clump of stars next to Scorpio.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

You mean to tell me that this BITCH

IS SAGITTARIUS?!??!?

Every other constellation makes sense, but this is a disappointment.

This isn't a centaur. I'm not sure WHAT it is, but a centaur is not one of them. Maybe it's a giraffe. I think it's the sky spider that will consume the universe, personally.

Anyway, yes I will continue to be mad about Sagitarius, and no I'm not taking suggestions on how to look at it. Take care and don't let the sky spider eat you.

The Father

The Son

& The Holy Spirit

‘I had a cold last week if anyone cares’

i can hear this image lmao

I text back embarrassingly fast

or three hours later

there is no in between

Credits to @Ahoymorgcn on Twitter

Sassing the audience in Birmingham, AL.

(Source.)