Potato-frend-blog - HellofellowHumanz.

Does "narcissist abuse" exist?

Well, I'll try to think of this as unbiased as possible.

Narcissist and Abuser are not synonymous. Many narcissists make an effort to not harm others and have never been or are currently not abusers.

NPD is a disorder with different presentations and sufferers have differents traits and severities: some narcissists are aggressive and external; some are more internal; some may be concerned with being a good person; some may overcompensate for their narcissism; some may take out the issues of their disorder on others; some may have trouble self-reflecting and hurt others; some may never hurt anyone; some may know how to deal with their traits while others may not.

NPD is a disorder that impacts both the sufferer and the people around them. It is important to talk about the sufferer, but also to acknowledge that it affects others as well. Especially if someone is untreated and unaware of their disorder.

It can cause someone to hurt others if it is left unchecked, if they were taught to hurt others, if they are unaware of their behavior, if they lack self-control, or if they simply have no desire to be a good person.

An abuser with NPD's reasons and ways of abusing someone may be different, just as an abuser with autism's would...and an abuser with depression, an abuser with bipolar, an abuser with schizophrenia, or an abuser who is not mentally ill at all.

I have heard a story about a woman with schizophrenia who was convinced her children were possessed by the devil and tried to attack them. Does this mean everyone with schizophrenia is dangerous? No. Absolutely not. Did her disorder affect the way she treated others in a negative way? Yes, because it presented in this way, and she was completely unaware and untreated. She is a victim in the fact she was dealing with these delusions and this fear, just as her children were victims for having to deal with the way she acted. Again: someone being schizophrenic does not mean they will hurt you. If someone who is schizophrenic tries to hurt you, that isn't representative of everyone with schizophrenia. (Many people with schizophrenia do not try to harm people at all.)

I also heard about the difficulties of a child living with bipolar mother who treated her disorder with alcohol, causing her to accidentally harm her child in many ways. Obviously, her disorder and addiction are relevant in talking about the experience, but we all know people with bipolar disorder are not abusers just because they are bipolar; and addicts are not abusers just because they are addicts.

Abuse can be done on accident, especially if someone was raised around it or thinking it was okay, or if they have a disorder affecting how they see things. In some cases, explaining and trying to help people realize their behavior can work. In others, it won't; some people don't want to listen or get better. If thats the case, thats on them. But no matter what, abuse is a choice. It can be done without awareness; but it is still a choice.

Anyone can be an abuser, and the equation of one disorder with abuse is not only dehumanizing to the people with this disorder, but can actually hurt victims of abusers who aren't narcissists, or victims who are narcissists.

My point is that it can be relevant to say your abuser had NPD. But someone being an abuser doesn't mean they are a narcissist, and the NPD isn't what needs highlighted...its the abuse. Yes, you can say your abuser had NPD, I don't think it's wrong to make a space to discuss this with people who had a similar experience either.

Many people in my family are narcissists/narcissistic, and quite a few of them hurt people or have been abusive. So I won't deny that a lot of narcissists (especially ones who externalize their narcissism and who are completely untreated, also when they refuse to admit they have a problem) treat others badly. I also know some of them don't actually have bad intentions and that others do have (in a way) bad intentions. Some were raised to think it was okay. I also know of narcissists who internalize it, who are aware of their narcissism, who do their best to not hurt others, who are victims themselves.

NPD should be talked about from the perspective of people with NPD, but this doesn't mean people who dealt with abusive people with NPD can't talk about it. As I said, I had no problem with an article about an abusive mother who had bipolar disorder; it was relevant.

A lot of "narcissistic abuse" described is just abuse. A list of abusive behaviors doesn't need to say narcissist at the top. It is completely irrelevant. Say it if it is relevant.

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TLDR; Your abuser being a narcissist can be relevant, and you can talk about it, narcissists can be abusers and their disorder can play a part in it. But not all narcissists are abusers, and "narcissist" is equated with abuser. This is why people do not like the term "narcissistic abuse." It, in a way, equates narcissism with abuse. "Narcissistic abuse" is as real as "autistic abuse" or "bipolar abuse."

Don't use narcissist as a word for abuser. Say it if it's relevant.

I have no problem with a subreddit, therapy group, or community for people who dealt with abusive narcissists, but I want people to not perpetuate a stigma.

I sympathize with those who were abused, but narcissism isn't abuse; abuse is abuse. Narcissism can play a part, but that is not what the abuse is, and that is not THE cause of the abuse.

Abuse is abuse, and anyone can abuse.

I gues they don't get kicked out for showing the star of David and do kick out any antisemitic people.

where all my queer and trans jews DREADING PRIDE MONTH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All these are not functional anymore

For those of you with anxiety

here’s a website that translates the time into hexidecimal colours,

here is a website where you can create your own galaxies

here is a website where you can play flow

here you can interact with organisms in different environments to see how to music changes

here you can play silk which is an interactive generative art designing website.

Here is a website where you can travel along a 3D line into the infinite unkown

here is a website where you can listen to rain with or without music

There is now a part two!

Ah well shit this is me when I'm on my meds.

Whenever I start to fall down the doubt spiral of ADHD doom (“but what if I don’t have ADHD, what if I’m actually just a terrible person who doesn’t try hard enough and who somehow accidentally managed to manipulate a specialist into thinking I have ADHD?”) I like to take ADHD “tests” to remind myself that yeah, actually, my brain is 13 trash fires masquerading as 12 feral cats in a trench coat and that actually, my ADHD is both

a) pretty severe and

b) entirely unmedicated due to my physical health being the equivalent of a meteor strike masquerading as 13 trash fires.

Anyway, this one has a cool pie chart with colors which I found quite helpful compared to the usual number scales. But also, lmao, help...

Edit: link for anyone that wants it. (This is obviously not a complete or comprehensive diagnostic tool. I just thought the way it was laid out was cool and way more accessible compared to others I’ve seen in the past.)

Oh shit, here we go again.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is the twins are finally back!

The bad news is they've brought a Whispering Death with them. A Titan Wing Whispering Death. An angry Titan Wing Whispering Death. An angry Titan Wing Whispering Death that is currently chasing them through the village as we speak. Someone should probably do something about that.

We're going to send them to dragon island. They got themselves into this, they can sort it out themselves.

It IS concerning that we now have to deal with the carpenter again. We're not exactly on good terms with him.

Hey everyone. I remember reading an HTTYD fanfic titled "My Hiccup," and one of the plots was Alvin enslaving the Berserker tribe with Dagur trying to free them. And though why the hell not make this into a ROBTD comic with Alvin as the main bad guy? Of course, Pitch and others are in this too.

(Image description: ten square pride flags with white text that reads "you'll never have the comfort of our silence again".)

The flags are the intersex inclusive progress pride, trans, leather, genderqueer, bisexual, pansexual, gay man, lesbian, intersex, and nonbinary flags.

These are inspired by this post, an image of a sign taken at an anti-Anita Bryant protest in 1978.

They start war, we win war, they complain, we get human rights allegations, repeat.

I’d think they’d get along ❤️🤭

Please idk how to draw turtle hands asdfghjkl

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Holocaust Commission & Learning Centre: Give Roma victims proper representation

Despite being one of the two ethnic groups affected by the Nuremberg Laws there is not enough education on them or the Holocaust in general.