Kaebedo Doodles

blue valentine

think about myself, i think about myself

care about myself, i care about myself

i only care about myself

and other fears too stupid too mention

I love them so much

"power of friendship trope ruined the plot" idc idc i believe in the power of friendship and one day your edgelord asses will realize how existing with other people can actually save you

the philosophy that the center of the universe is where you and i and all these people meet will Never get old to me

gaza has just been completely cut off from the world.

after increased intensity of israeli aistrikes tonight, the last cable providing communications was destroyed. telecommunications have been completely cut off. they cannot reach one another. they cannot reach paramedics. the red crescent society has completely lost contact with their branch in gaza. nobody inside can reach anyone inside, and especially not outside of gaza to tell us what is going on. this is a complete atrocity.

A Forest Watcher in (mostly) shades of green

hii hello hiii can you tell more about your writing process? :3c what are the stages? are there any writing principles for your process? what's the most enjoyable thing? :3c

hello eldritch!! omg im so sorry for the delay in answering... lol i didn't expect work to suddenly be so busy lol but anyway!!

so there are two main ways that a fic idea comes together for me: a) it's the theme/thesis statement that comes to me first. this comes to me in a lot of different ways... it could be a line from a song or an excerpt from a poem or a similar adjacent theme i take from a different piece of media that i feel i can apply to a certain ship/character that i am brainrotting about at the moment. ex. my favorite and most recent example of this would be scaramouche x from under the cork tree by fall out boy (lol) the theme i put together there was rly just... that desperation of so badly wanting something to be completely about yourself for once (and almost narcissistically/unhealthily so) because you've never had anything at all. i just thought it's a very specific... almost manic feeling that i can definitely picture scara experiencing.

b) it's one very specific scene that comes to me, and from there, i try to fill in the blanks/puzzle pieces in the plot (with other scenes) of how everything builds up to that one scene. when i have all of that down, it becomes a little easier for me to fill in the blanks of what exactly happens/how the fic ends after that one scene.

most of the time, it's a combination of these two ways of idea-gathering for me... mostly it's the theme that comes first, but there are other times that it's the specific scenes that come first and when it's the latter, they don't really come together /thematically/ until i'm already somewhere in the middle of writing. this ideation process is what i consider most important because honestly... i really only have two stages in writing (lol) which are: ideation and then the writing itself. bc basically, the ideation is what gets the fic plot points down... and the writing is really just... me connecting those points/weaving those ideas together...

to put things more concretely, my ideation process is really just... a lot of listing things down and it is admittedly chaotic... it could be scene ideas (or a sequence of them) as simple as 'scara spots aether in the crowd' but bc im a mess it usually becomes a long bullet that also includes the unsaid implications in that said scene like so:

scara spots aether in the crowd looking back at him and he fixates on it bc it feels like for the first time, someone actually /sees/ and wants to look at him

ideas i list down could also be specific lines that i imagine a specific character saying or even a few dialogues of script between characters. there's also just lots of random stuff related to how i want to describe dynamics and characters i list down like 'heiscara friendship with lots of annoying smart banter' or 'scara is a skater in this one' or 'aether listens to taylor swift but lumine doesn't' (lol)' or 'scara is like [insert fall out boy song here]'

~ as for writing principles... ig i only rly have this in mind at the moment: balance out poetry and prose - uhh i dont think i ever write anything that doesn't end up with a motif that ties in with the theme... i like metaphors a lot bc i feel they help describe feelings more accurately... but i also try to make sure that these metaphors are just simple but clever enough?? uhh... i kinda think of writing metaphors as cracking a joke... if it's too cerebral, the punchline might not /punch/ lol but if it's too straightforward... it might not work in capturing a certain idea or feeling... as for my personal preference in my own writing... i like to phrase things bluntly while still making metaphors in that tone so its not cerebrally intimidating... err im not sure how to explain that more elaborately here lol uhh but heres one of my favorite more recent examples from something i wrote abt scara talking about ei:

She has acknowledged me in a way that she believes it's her sister who should be alive instead of me, as if I had taken the life of someone else simply by being born into the world. (I'm not a killer— or at least I wasn't born one, and as far as I know, the blood on my hands is usually my own.)

~ as for the most enjoyable thing about it... well i would say it's definitely writing metaphors lol and then making sure how that ties coherently and cleverly with the theme and the vibe of the ship dynamic/character i'm centering the fic on... i dont think i ever write without an overarching theme or a metaphor for this reason... even when i just want the characters to kiss... its corny but i always need the kiss to feel like its situated in the grander scheme of things and feelings skksks

cleaner, but still not a saint

tw: blood