Ice Beauty, The Last Part 🩵❄️

Artist or writer, or... just a mum 🖤

Inspiration for my story "Under the Christmas tree..."✨💚

One morning 🌿

I decided to share here my thoughts and emotions that I am alone with and that have filled me from the inside out and need an exit.

At first I was afraid, but I thought that my Tumblr is read by 2-3 people, it's like a diary for me, it's personal, it's not Instagram. It is what it was and is because I have not deleted a single post, they are all about me and my life. I often tell my close people that I am also real here, in my online life. I don't like plays, although I think I could be a great actress, and what photos I can take! Everyone would believe it...

But I choose to be real...

I'll probably write a few posts and then I'll run out of words. I have so many questions inside me right now and I keep asking myself in circles.

I feel like I am falling into the same trap. Like when I was 16, 22 and 29... And now that I'm almost 34, I'm back at the same point, with the same emotions. With the same questions for myself. Questions about friendship, about human communication...

I have always been the side with whom communication suddenly stopped, almost without explanation, let alone the possibility of explaining myself. I still wonder what it's like to be on the other side, but I probably wouldn't want to experience that in my life. I don't want those emotions any more, because they turn out to be the same as they were when I was 16, 22 and 29. Can I call them "unpleasant"?

Last spring was the same for me, I was looking forward to it, cheering up everyone around me when the snow caught up with us and covered our yards and streets, but April came, it melted, everyone around me sighed and smiled, and I was confused... Spring came, but my soul felt empty. Last year I filled that emptiness with my stories and wrote a lot.

This spring seemed different, but April came and I was confused again...

Just Saturday ☀️

Just working 🎨

I wish I could write something like "choose your reality" but the reality is that it's wet and slippery outside and my sense of humour has been exhausted since this morning 😤.

For work... I visit everything (related to art) with pleasure and interest, because then I have to write about it. One exhibition replaces another...

Today I was most attracted by an art object with old letters... Someone's correspondence. I wondered if it would be interesting to look into it... What if there were someone's secrets or something that would hurt... To be the keeper of someone else's secret or to share someone else's pain... No...

I guess there's a reason they say you can't read other people's letters.

My gift for friends and relatives this year ☺️

I don't think I've ever baked so many cookies, and it all started in mid-December. I even sent them by post 🥲

And baking cookies was also the inspiration for a scene in one of my stories ✨

A quick coffee in the morning with a friend or "I just wanted to see your smile" or if your friend is also an aesthete like you ☺️☀️